Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy for BPD

As some of you know, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2020. It was both devastating and reaffirming. On one hand, I read BPD books which illustrated that other people felt the way that I did—they couldn't regulate their emotions, felt constantly as if they were imploding from the inside, couldn't sustain friendships or relationships, had a distorted sense of self, couldn't deal with a pervasive sense of abandonment, had little to no family support system to ease any of the burden, etc. On the other hand, I had been told over and over that the doctors didn't want to scare me with this diagnosis, that it is regarded as the most difficult mental illness to treat and that others will look at me differently. I was encouraged not to tell my friends I had BPD.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, BPD is a mental health disorder that stems from childhood trauma. It is a cluster B personality disorder alongside Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder. More info from the National Institute of Metal Health about BPD can be found here .

Since then, I have been to an intensive, month-long outpatient mental health program, undergone trauma therapy (very traumatic turns out) , stopped and started a variety of medications, started psychotherapy, meditated, started running, etc. While mental health is obviously a combination of nurturing the mind, body, and soul, I believe—as does my psychiatrist—that a more intensive treatment is needed. The past year has been the most difficult of my life, and I sincerely want my life and joy back. Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy has the potential to help significantly.

While it is still being tested, the treatment is evidenced to improve the lives and emotional regulation of those with severe depression and BPD. After researching for months, I believe this treatment is one of my last hopes. Unfortunately, many insurance plans do not have substantial, or even minimal, coverage for mental health, especially those as specialized as the ones needed for folks with BPD. As a self-employed individual, my insurance is obviously horrendous. My therapist appointments are $125 / week, and the Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy is about $500 per session (I will need 2 sessions a week for 5 weeks).

This is an extremely shameful and embarrassing ask for me. It is difficult for me to ask for help, but I realize now that this treatment has the potential to change my life and my perceptions of it. BPD has hindered my ability to work, live, love, see myself clearly, and function normally on a day-to-day basis. I ask that this not be shared on social media, and is instead sent to individuals privately to protect my privacy. Thank you so much whether you can donate or not. Sharing my story in this way has been cathartic.