Help Vicki to Rebuild Her Life After Cancer!

UPDATE - I am reaching out one last time, because I honestly need your help more than ever before. I am in dire straits. I do believe I am on the final stretch. By the time I recover from surgery, I’ll be able to take my boards to be certified to start looking for work in August.

The last 4-5 years have felt just like a movie... Not in a good way. There is more to this story to be told at a later time.

I’m recovering from breast cancer related surgery that I’ve had 4 weeks ago. I have had to recover from 4 surgeries in one year's time. It’s the doctor’s orders that I am not allowed to work, because I can’t reach, bend, or lift over 10 lbs. According to my surgeon, the 3 extra surgeries, (AFTER the double, radical, bilateral mastectomy), were performed to try to correct the “injury” that happened right after the mastectomy, which was not at all my fault. Most of you know of the episode that happened to me. Then shortly thereafter, I was being (quote), “punished”, and found myself abandoned left to heal from on my own. Even Graham (our dog who needs medical attention for congestive heart failure), is sadly abandoned. Now because of all these extra surgeries, I am having difficulty in healing up. My surgeon has mentioned that I may have to go to a Hyperbaric Chamber for 2 hours a day, for at least 2 weeks to heal.

Thank goodness for friends who come by to help all the time. “This person” was basically paying me rent to keep his belongings here at the house, (that I solely own). He had the whole 834 sq ft, fully furnished, private, upstairs floor, (with a bedroom, office, living room and full bath), with a his things STILL in it and now, I can’t get a roommate, because of his things and clothing still being there and my doctor’s orders to not lift over 10 lbs. So I am being intentionally undermined. There is no excuse for it. He also has a a huge amount of things in my garage. I have stuff up there too, to purge, (it's a "staging area"), but having his stuff up there (stored for free or, abandoned for me to have to deal with) is unacceptable. It is MY house and he has no right to do that. My band mate/best friend just re-assed the situation and documented all his stuff that is still here with photos. On top of that, he has decided to completely cut me off financially, (with NO notice), right after my last surgery 4 weeks ago, (at THE worst time, no warning), when I can’t lift, work. and I'm in school. It is intentional on his part. Now, my mortgage was late, (for the first time since I took over payments 6 years ago, and my utilities could be shut off -not good for a cancer patient). He is deliberately trying to (quote), "punish" me. I didn't ask for cancer. He is unfair and irrational. He has misplaced anger for his me for his own life decisions. He appears to want to ruin my recovery and my life- like he did exactly to his 3 former wives (who oddly, ALL owned their own homes like me). 4 weeks ago he said, he was going to help, (his quote), “until you are finished with school and when you get on your feet”. That’s only 2-3 more months. He makes good money. That made me so happy and I thought we could be amicable. I expressed several times in text to him that I wanted to be amicable. I didn't want us to have to drag each other's name's through the mud. I wanted a quick, amicable divorce. So I complied cheerfully with everything he requested for me to return to him out of the home, including his guitars, mail etc. He even took back presents that he gave me. He didn’t keep his word at all - it was all a boldfaced lie and a deliberate scheme. No empathy, heartless. I would have never left him if he had a deadly health crisis. Haven't i been through enough?

He has slandered and dragged his 3 other ex wives through the mud, (I've heard all about it from him), and now, me. He says we are all "crazy with mental disorders", yet he is the common denominator of all his failed relationships. He also left with owing some of them money. Some of them endured abuse. I take umbrage to him slandering me and telling lies about me, so I will probably have to also sue him for defamation of character. He has recently sent a text to me (I saved it and I quote him), "I sent 3 of your friends (one VERY close) a checklist of the attributes of that of a personality disorder- and for all of the those people (with no prompting from me)- they checked every box. Every box. Not from me. Your friends. And they apologized that I had to live through it...Your friends, Vicki. Your close friends..." Why would a mentally stable person do that? What does that accomplish on top of everything else? He must have a lot of time on his hands. I'm tired of all the salvos he's throwing at me that I have to endure. That's why I'm speaking out. There is a lot of shame and taboo associated with abuse. Wellness is talking about subjects like abuse and mental illness. I have been trying to have him get help for his diagnosed bipolar and rage issues. I admit I am not perfect, but I am strong. I am also human and have felt dehumanized, so I do go to therapy for anxiety and PTSD. I guess I should be flattered that he went through all that trouble to make "check boxes" and all about me. Again, there is even more than this recent episode.

There are cameras and alarm codes in place. A dear friend helped me to have new locks professionally installed as well. Despite everything he had done to try to destroy me, I now understand he can't help it. I have no ill will for him. I do pray for him. I just want him to be fair and honor our word and agreement, or get his stuff out of my house.

The crux is that: it is unfair for me to be expected to be a storage unit and not get paid when I could be renting out my furnished floor- (it will now also need a deep clean and a fresh coat of paint).

I also need to mention that I have EVERYTHING documented on text, video and emails. Anyone can just say things, but PROOF is everything.

In a few months, I will finally be able to regain my life. I’m excited about my new chapter.

I have completed my Phlebotomy courses on time with a 95 % and I have now started EKG classes, so that I can have gainful employment by Aug/Sept. Any little bit of help that you can send my way to get me through these couple months would really be appreciated. I am on the home stretch of rebuilding my life. I am trying to reach the rest of my financial goal, then, have a new career, stay in my modest, beloved home and be employed. I have won the battle after 9 years of fighting cancer. I loved to work, be employed and independent most of those years, even though it was difficult with the side effects of chemo and radiation. It has been a physical and emotional rollercoaster. Albeit that I am grateful to be alive, these bills have me pegging the "anxiety meter" .

I am sad and astonished that not only I was abandoned, but he abandoned Graham, who is still hanging on with congestive heart failure. That money that he reneged on was also promised for Graham’s required check up, meds, and EKG. Graham will suffer and die without his meds. Graham was his dog too, and now, suddenly, he doesn’t care if he dies. To be cruel to an animal is unfathomable to me. I will feed Graham, (an innocent animal), over myself if I have to. He has been nothing but comfort and support to me.

A glass patio door was also “mysteriously” shattered and will cost me $400.00 to replace. I had heard a story from someone who he was divorced from that a similar thing had happened to her when he abandoned her. Then, I have daily living expenses, mortgage, phone, utilities, gas and car insurance. I live extremely modestly and my mortgage and utilities are way less than a one bedroom apartment in a questionable part of Antioch.

Thank you all who are currently supporting me and have previously supported me with your generosity and letting me share my journey in earnest. I am telling my story to be informative and heartfelt, with the hope of inspiring others.

Thank you and with all my love, Vicki

https://www.gofundme.com/f/join-vickis-fight

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@Vicki-reid1941

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