Help us heal - life upended by domestic violence

Hi, I'm Izzy and I want to thank you for reading this before anything else.

I'm reaching out to my friends, family, and community for help in our time of crisis. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend came home and threw my cellphone into the kitchen sink, submerging it in water so I'd have no way to call for help. Then he beat, tormented, trapped and nearly killed me-- strangling me with his hands, and at one point, suffocating me with the plastic sheet of our shower curtain liner over my face, until I lost consciousness.

It's still hard to admit-- it's not the first time he was violent, but it was most certainly the worst. We had recently moved in together, and I thought we'd been doing so much better...

It's hard to say how long I was in there with him that night, at times trying to de-escalate, trying to fight back, and ultimately giving up on both. I was finally able to escape after he'd fallen asleep. He had barricaded my bedroom door using my king size bed where he was sleeping.

I had to move fast. I shoved him and the bed as hard as I could away from the door and ripped it open to run towards my daughter (6,) who'd been sleeping soundly in her room all night. I scooped her up into my arms, and rushed out the door, barely pausing for a split-second outside to grab my front door mat in a feeble attempt to cover my unclothed body. I darted down the hallway towards the parking lot, clumsily wrapping the doormat around my waist. I didn't know if he was going to follow me outside. I didn't know where I was going to run next.

Suddenly, I saw multiple police cars, officers, and flashing blue lights ahead of me. They had been waiting outside after my downstairs neighbors heard my suffering and called 911. It was over, and we were safe.

The next day, the apartment complex where we are living tried to abruptly force me and my daughter out, based on some fine print in the lease about evicting leaseholders who are arrested for violent crime. I was told that I had to leave immediately, and would not be allowed to come back. At all. We spent that night sweating and crying, trying to rescue as many of our belongings as possible. I called my nearest family members, and we raced past each other again and again, haphazardly piling everything I own into the hallway, without a plan for what to do with it next. We were scrambling, and stalling, even past the point that the maintenance employee was becoming irritable and telling us we were out of time and had to leave any remaining belongings behind.

We were rescued at the last minute by the compassion and quick action of a team of law enforcement and legal professionals who had been told what was happening and fought to protect us immediately. Our belongings, now strewn about the breezeway, could come back inside... for now.

The above picture of my bruised face was taken the next day. It was my daughter's birthday. I went to a court hearing, tried to get some sleep and tidy up some of our ransacked, just-moved-in-again apartment. I was icing my swollen face, taking pain medication, and having anxiety attacks. There was bruising on my ribs, sternum and shoulder making it painful and nearly impossible to take a deep breath. The pain in my face made it difficult to eat. The swollen, stabbing pain in my neck made it painful to simply hold my head up for very long without laying back down for relief. We weren't able to have a party. There was no cake. I couldn't buy her a present.

The next night, the lack of sleep from stress caught up with me. I fell asleep at the wheel, and veered off the road, totaling my car in a ditch. It's incredibly lucky that no other people or vehicles were close, and that my daughter was not riding along with me.

In just a few days, I suddenly found myself without a car, a phone, or my partner who'd been paying most of the bills. I was worried about my daughter's emotional state, worried about being seen in public with my bruised and swollen face, worried about our story being reported (some less accurately than others) on local news stations unexpectedly, worried about the leasing office trying to force us out again, worried people won't believe my story, worried about transportation, worried about staying strong and focused in the coming days to be a good mom, worried about money and replacing so very many broken things...

I've been doing everything I can, with the support and guidance of some really incredible individuals at Knightdale PD, InterAct of Wake County & Legal Aid, and more. We've taken steps to create safety plans, and to make sure we have our most basic needs met in the short run. However, there are some expenses that these programs can't help cover-- and some organizations that have long processing times, waitlists, or strict eligibility criteria making it difficult or slow to get assistance when it's needed.

And that's what brings us to this moment. Please, if you can, consider making a donation to help my daughter and I move towards stability. Funds raised here will primarily go towards basic, day-to-day living expenses like household supplies and toiletries, transportation as needed, replacing my phone & broken bed frame, medical/therapy bills & copays, etc. The first few things on my list are:

1. A bike with a covered trailer attachment for my daughter to ride comfortably in, in order to make our current 20 minute walk to her school bus stop a little more manageable (especially on rainy or chillier days.)

2. School uniforms for colder weather on the way ( I mostly stocked up on short sleeves for my daughter before the school year began.)

3. Ear Piercings - this is the birthday gift/experience that my daughter wanted most

Thank you again for taking the time to read my story, and I hope you will please share it with your circle as well. I will continue to post updates as we're recovering.