Help Una Get Out of a Bind(er)
Donation protected
Howdy Friends,
My name is Una (he/him). I’m a transmasc NB person living in the Bay Area, CA. In my personal life I write music and poetry, and I like riding my bike with my friends. I’m passionate about social causes, animals, and anything that involves food. I am currently unemployed due to COVID-19 but when I am working full time my jobs usually involve physical labor and heavy machinery. I worked in laboratory settings for a while but since last March 2020 I haven’t been able to work. The purpose of this page is to help me cover the costs of my top surgery and after care.
I started wearing a binder at 19 years old in 2012. I remember when I was studying culinary arts at Le Cordon Bleu how uncomfortable it was to constantly wear an ace bandage under my uniform. My friend gave me their old full length binder after I shared with them that I was using an ace bandage. I wore it until it turned grey and was all stretched out. I’ve been binding for about 9 years now, and the effects it has taken on my chest are getting to be more trouble than buying binders for the rest of my life is worth. I am ready to take the next step to being comfortable in my body.
In 2018 I started to feel like my pronouns weren’t really matching how I felt on the inside so I asked my close friends to start using him/her/they. The times they used “he” I remember feeling good inside. The times people used her/they I still felt uneasy but didn’t know how to advocate for myself to get what I needed to hear. It wasn’t until casually talking with a friend, and sharing my frustrations they asked “would you like us to use he/him from now on?” that I felt comfortable with the idea of using those pronouns solely. It hadn’t crossed my mind that that was what I really wanted the whole time.
Towards the end of 2019 my mental health had been on a steady decline; my work habits were suffering, I was struggling to take proper care of myself, and I felt like I didn’t know who the real Una was. I felt like a shell of a person, just executing the tasks before me. I knew I needed guidance and serious help. I knew a change was desperately needed.
After reaching out to 50+ therapists in the Bay Area, and getting denied over and over again I finally got a positive response from a therapist who specialises in LGBTQ+ clients with depression and anxiety. After speaking with her that following Monday I knew I was on the right path to helping myself. I told her I was specifically seeking out help with my gender identity and mental health issues, and she reassured me that she would be able to help me navigate this journey.
I began my sessions with my therapist in January 2020, and she helped me realise what parts of my life I needed to work on and reshape. We’ve worked through some of my trauma, and she has helped guide me to where I feel comfortable in my gender expression. She sent me the resources to start testosterone therapy in April 2020. I started working with the UCSF medical team to get my HRT. I administered my first T shot on June 25th, 2020. I remember the euphoric feeling I immediately had that lasted all day into the evening. I felt so happy. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that kind of happiness in my life before that moment. I’ve given myself my injections every Thursday since that day. Now I am at the point where I am ready to have top surgery to reflect how I want to feel physically.
The type of procedure I am having is very invasive, and takes more time due to my natural chest size. I will be having Double Incision which involves two large cuts on my chest to remove most of the fat, and the healing time will take up to six months. I won’t be able to lift anything over 5lbs for at least six weeks, and I won’t be able to lift my arms past my shoulders for six months. I will only be able to wear button up shirts, and I won’t be able to hold a job in the industries I usually work because of the lifting restrictions.
I am nervous of course about having this procedure. I’ve never gone under in any medical setting or needed surgery. I am excited though to see what I will look like afterwards, and the endless possibilities of physical activities that will become available to me because I didn’t feel comfortable before. One of my most exciting adventures I can’t wait to experience is the first bike ride I will have where I can ride without a shirt on. I am also eager to sunbathe for the first time with the sun hitting my bare skin. Right now with my chest the way it is I am constantly uncomfortable and frustrated. My mind wants to focus on the activity I am involved in but my chest is the focus. The feeling of sweat on my chest especially irritates me, and having to constantly readjust my binder gets in the way of doing most things.
Binding for a long time has its own issues. Typically I wear my binder for 12+ hours out of the day, and the discomfort it brings lasts longer. I find myself taking deep breaths often, and I’ve had upper back and shoulder pain for years. Some days I find small bruises on my shoulders where the straps rest all day.
Truly I can’t wait for the day that I feel comfortable in my body. I know it will still take time to get to the point of being content but this is an important step in the right direction. With the changes I’ve experienced after starting T I have been much happier. For example because my voice has now gotten to a deeper pitch I get gendered correctly by most strangers. It feels so relieving to get people to recognise my pronouns before I get the chance to tell them.
The date of my surgery is scheduled for the 14th of October. This date didn’t originally hold any special meaning to me until I remembered it was the day my partner first told me she loved me. When the date was available I knew I had to take it. She will be there to take care of me, and help me during the moments that I need assistance. I am truly blessed to not only have her but my parents and close friends to help me in my recovery period. I am proud of the person I am becoming, and I can’t wait to see the final result of my chest when it is healed. I am excited and scared but ready for the future.
Aside from the pandemic being a brutal blow to the entire world, right now is the perfect time for a lot of trans people to take advantage of the world being “closed”. I’ve noticed quite a few people who are taking the opportunity to start HRT or have gender affirming surgeries. I would like to take this time for my transition because I think it would feel great to go back into the world when we can do so safely again with the reflection of how I feel on the inside on the outside as well. I also can’t wait to start my next job without having to explain my gender expression or pronouns to my employer. If I can re-enter the workplace looking/sounding how I want it would be a huge relief.
Before making this page I had a major internal conflict; who am I to ask my comrades for money when I know we are all struggling? When I bring this issue up to my friends they always respond with the same sentiment: this is how a lot of people are paying for medical bills unfortunately. It isn’t right but due to the broken system we live in, this is how a lot of trans people have to cover their gender affirmation surgeries. Crowdfunding for medical expenses is obviously not a long term solution, and it’s an ugly side effect of capitalism. I appreciate any help I can receive from friends/family/strangers for this procedure.
Here is what the donations will be paying for:
Surgery: $7,000
Rent x3: $1700
After Care Supplies and Medication:$300
Time off Work: $1,000
Total: $10,000
Any amount raised over the donation request will go towards after care costs, and any funds left over post healing will be donated to The Transgender District SF .
I know this surgery isn’t going to fix everything in my life but it isn’t necessarily about “fixing” my issues, it is about how comfortable I will feel in my body. My mind will be able to stop focusing on my appearance, and how my chest feels touching itself or my clothes. I won’t feel itchy or restricted under a binder. I won’t have to readjust my chest or buy a new binder every six months or so because the last one started to stretch out/unthread itself. I will be able to move freely. Activities cis gendered people take for granted will be available to me. Little things like opening my arms for a hug, bending over to pick something up, settling my guitar to start playing… these actions are so calculated for me. I want to live in a way that doesn’t have to be so methodical and thought out. It would be nice to just be myself.
Any amount received in this donation would mean a lot to me. I’ve taken a great amount of time to consider taking this next step in my life, and I’ve spent many years suffering in my own skin. This surgery means everything to me, and it would be life changing. I am fortunate enough to live near Dr. Mosser’s surgery center . He is one of the best gender affirmation surgeons in California, and I am very excited to have him operate on me. He is a surgeon many before me have trusted, and while I am nervous to be under the knife I am also excited.
I am blessed to have supportive friends I am staying with, and my amazing and beautiful partner to help take care of me. I don’t think there will be a better opportunity or moment for me to do this in my life. As I mentioned before many trans people are taking this time to get to where they want to be in their transition.
I will be sharing a personal poem/song :)
Please feel free to share this page on any platform or within your personal pages/circles. Thank you for taking the time to read about who I am, and where I am in my transition. Have a great day.
My name is Una (he/him). I’m a transmasc NB person living in the Bay Area, CA. In my personal life I write music and poetry, and I like riding my bike with my friends. I’m passionate about social causes, animals, and anything that involves food. I am currently unemployed due to COVID-19 but when I am working full time my jobs usually involve physical labor and heavy machinery. I worked in laboratory settings for a while but since last March 2020 I haven’t been able to work. The purpose of this page is to help me cover the costs of my top surgery and after care.
I started wearing a binder at 19 years old in 2012. I remember when I was studying culinary arts at Le Cordon Bleu how uncomfortable it was to constantly wear an ace bandage under my uniform. My friend gave me their old full length binder after I shared with them that I was using an ace bandage. I wore it until it turned grey and was all stretched out. I’ve been binding for about 9 years now, and the effects it has taken on my chest are getting to be more trouble than buying binders for the rest of my life is worth. I am ready to take the next step to being comfortable in my body.
In 2018 I started to feel like my pronouns weren’t really matching how I felt on the inside so I asked my close friends to start using him/her/they. The times they used “he” I remember feeling good inside. The times people used her/they I still felt uneasy but didn’t know how to advocate for myself to get what I needed to hear. It wasn’t until casually talking with a friend, and sharing my frustrations they asked “would you like us to use he/him from now on?” that I felt comfortable with the idea of using those pronouns solely. It hadn’t crossed my mind that that was what I really wanted the whole time.
Towards the end of 2019 my mental health had been on a steady decline; my work habits were suffering, I was struggling to take proper care of myself, and I felt like I didn’t know who the real Una was. I felt like a shell of a person, just executing the tasks before me. I knew I needed guidance and serious help. I knew a change was desperately needed.
After reaching out to 50+ therapists in the Bay Area, and getting denied over and over again I finally got a positive response from a therapist who specialises in LGBTQ+ clients with depression and anxiety. After speaking with her that following Monday I knew I was on the right path to helping myself. I told her I was specifically seeking out help with my gender identity and mental health issues, and she reassured me that she would be able to help me navigate this journey.
I began my sessions with my therapist in January 2020, and she helped me realise what parts of my life I needed to work on and reshape. We’ve worked through some of my trauma, and she has helped guide me to where I feel comfortable in my gender expression. She sent me the resources to start testosterone therapy in April 2020. I started working with the UCSF medical team to get my HRT. I administered my first T shot on June 25th, 2020. I remember the euphoric feeling I immediately had that lasted all day into the evening. I felt so happy. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that kind of happiness in my life before that moment. I’ve given myself my injections every Thursday since that day. Now I am at the point where I am ready to have top surgery to reflect how I want to feel physically.
The type of procedure I am having is very invasive, and takes more time due to my natural chest size. I will be having Double Incision which involves two large cuts on my chest to remove most of the fat, and the healing time will take up to six months. I won’t be able to lift anything over 5lbs for at least six weeks, and I won’t be able to lift my arms past my shoulders for six months. I will only be able to wear button up shirts, and I won’t be able to hold a job in the industries I usually work because of the lifting restrictions.
I am nervous of course about having this procedure. I’ve never gone under in any medical setting or needed surgery. I am excited though to see what I will look like afterwards, and the endless possibilities of physical activities that will become available to me because I didn’t feel comfortable before. One of my most exciting adventures I can’t wait to experience is the first bike ride I will have where I can ride without a shirt on. I am also eager to sunbathe for the first time with the sun hitting my bare skin. Right now with my chest the way it is I am constantly uncomfortable and frustrated. My mind wants to focus on the activity I am involved in but my chest is the focus. The feeling of sweat on my chest especially irritates me, and having to constantly readjust my binder gets in the way of doing most things.
Binding for a long time has its own issues. Typically I wear my binder for 12+ hours out of the day, and the discomfort it brings lasts longer. I find myself taking deep breaths often, and I’ve had upper back and shoulder pain for years. Some days I find small bruises on my shoulders where the straps rest all day.
Truly I can’t wait for the day that I feel comfortable in my body. I know it will still take time to get to the point of being content but this is an important step in the right direction. With the changes I’ve experienced after starting T I have been much happier. For example because my voice has now gotten to a deeper pitch I get gendered correctly by most strangers. It feels so relieving to get people to recognise my pronouns before I get the chance to tell them.
The date of my surgery is scheduled for the 14th of October. This date didn’t originally hold any special meaning to me until I remembered it was the day my partner first told me she loved me. When the date was available I knew I had to take it. She will be there to take care of me, and help me during the moments that I need assistance. I am truly blessed to not only have her but my parents and close friends to help me in my recovery period. I am proud of the person I am becoming, and I can’t wait to see the final result of my chest when it is healed. I am excited and scared but ready for the future.
Aside from the pandemic being a brutal blow to the entire world, right now is the perfect time for a lot of trans people to take advantage of the world being “closed”. I’ve noticed quite a few people who are taking the opportunity to start HRT or have gender affirming surgeries. I would like to take this time for my transition because I think it would feel great to go back into the world when we can do so safely again with the reflection of how I feel on the inside on the outside as well. I also can’t wait to start my next job without having to explain my gender expression or pronouns to my employer. If I can re-enter the workplace looking/sounding how I want it would be a huge relief.
Before making this page I had a major internal conflict; who am I to ask my comrades for money when I know we are all struggling? When I bring this issue up to my friends they always respond with the same sentiment: this is how a lot of people are paying for medical bills unfortunately. It isn’t right but due to the broken system we live in, this is how a lot of trans people have to cover their gender affirmation surgeries. Crowdfunding for medical expenses is obviously not a long term solution, and it’s an ugly side effect of capitalism. I appreciate any help I can receive from friends/family/strangers for this procedure.
Here is what the donations will be paying for:
Surgery: $7,000
Rent x3: $1700
After Care Supplies and Medication:$300
Time off Work: $1,000
Total: $10,000
Any amount raised over the donation request will go towards after care costs, and any funds left over post healing will be donated to The Transgender District SF .
I know this surgery isn’t going to fix everything in my life but it isn’t necessarily about “fixing” my issues, it is about how comfortable I will feel in my body. My mind will be able to stop focusing on my appearance, and how my chest feels touching itself or my clothes. I won’t feel itchy or restricted under a binder. I won’t have to readjust my chest or buy a new binder every six months or so because the last one started to stretch out/unthread itself. I will be able to move freely. Activities cis gendered people take for granted will be available to me. Little things like opening my arms for a hug, bending over to pick something up, settling my guitar to start playing… these actions are so calculated for me. I want to live in a way that doesn’t have to be so methodical and thought out. It would be nice to just be myself.
Any amount received in this donation would mean a lot to me. I’ve taken a great amount of time to consider taking this next step in my life, and I’ve spent many years suffering in my own skin. This surgery means everything to me, and it would be life changing. I am fortunate enough to live near Dr. Mosser’s surgery center . He is one of the best gender affirmation surgeons in California, and I am very excited to have him operate on me. He is a surgeon many before me have trusted, and while I am nervous to be under the knife I am also excited.
I am blessed to have supportive friends I am staying with, and my amazing and beautiful partner to help take care of me. I don’t think there will be a better opportunity or moment for me to do this in my life. As I mentioned before many trans people are taking this time to get to where they want to be in their transition.
I will be sharing a personal poem/song :)
Please feel free to share this page on any platform or within your personal pages/circles. Thank you for taking the time to read about who I am, and where I am in my transition. Have a great day.
Fundraising team (2)
Una Horne
Organizer
Richmond, CA
Sammy Brown
Team member