Help a chronically ill trans man find stability
Donation protected
Hello GFM, I am a chronically ill trans man with PTSD and PMDD trying to make ends meet while struggling to keep my head above water financially, mentally and emotionally for the last several years. I am incredibly hard working, independent, have done everything I can think of to improve my situation, come up with solutions and have kept optimistic as long as I can but I am starting to feel hopeless. I have pushed myself for years trying to just reach some semblance of stability and I have arrived at the point that I have no choice but to reach out for help.
I do not feel comfortable sharing pictures of myself in part because of my gender dysphoria and the effect Graves' disease has had on my body [especially my eyes] but also due to security issues. I'm very sorry.
In order to fully explain why I'm making this post I think it is necessary to start with some of the circumstances behind my situation, though this is edited down as a lot of details felt too personal. I am struggling to cope with PTSD that effects me greatly on a daily basis and has throughout my life. Sharing the details even in short form makes me feel too vulnerable and I’m still learning to accept what happened, so please understand why they are omitted. The weight of my traumas severely complicates what is already a complicated situation.
In high school I was diagnosed with Endometriosis but was never properly treated. In more recent years I was diagnosed with severe Graves' Disease. I would wake up with migraines daily, frequently pass out and constantly shake. Despite being relatively athletic prior, suddenly I could barely walk or stand, and if I leaned down for any reason I was not able to pick myself up without help. I was in tremendous constant pain throughout my body, my irregular heartbeat was concerningly apparent and I could no longer close my eyes. After a long string of treatments, I have had an ablation and am now on Levothyroxin, however I have not been able to get thyroid surgery as I became homeless before I officially finished my treatments. I still live with the symptoms I had when I first got sick, but they are sometimes more manageable thanks to the ablation.
I was advised to quit my job by my endocrinologist and oncologist, and while I have tried to find jobs since, the pain and other symptoms were too much and without enough rest in between work days I was so immobilized by pain I couldn't even make it to work. This led me to take up freelance art to afford the cost of living.
I spent a couple years homeless and doing my best to save up for a stable place to live by working every day in coffee shops before the pandemic hit and I rented the first place that would accept me with what I had, so that I would have access to a bathroom and could continue to work. Unfortunately within the first few months of living here I have developed severe fibromyalgia. It runs in my family and was expected but i had no idea how much it would interfere with my work. I have spent the last year working away my waking hours or being in so much pain from the Fibromyalgia, Graves' and Endometriosis combined that I can't function. When flair ups hit I can't even bend my fingers, making it impossible to work. My income is irregular and I was already making just around enough to make ends meet, which means now with these forced pain-filled breaks, every moment I was capable of working, I had to work.
I was not prepared to move this year, and so I renewed my lease here. Despite the pandemic, my rent was raised significantly enough that, taking into account how my chronic illnesses have cut my income, there is no way I can handle all of my expenses, feed myself, and manage my mental health which- with PTSD and PMDD- need constant care.
Here is the break down of the 24,000 into what I am hoping for in order of importance.
13,000 to cover groceries and necessities, medication, and allow me to work closer to the pace that I worked this past year with the potential of a day off here and there.
3000 for help saving for moving costs to somewhere cheaper at the end of my lease.
1000 for medical emergencies. I have not been able to get my monthly blood work done in over a year, and so I can't get my medication. I have been rationing what I have.
7000, the cost of thyroid surgery. This is not something I expect, but it would help tremendously to avoid thyroid cancer which runs heavily in my family. As I mentioned I was supposed to get the surgery before but life had other plans. Because of the severity of my Graves disease they seemed to be unable to tell me if I had cancer at the time and I am concerned that, while I do not believe it is a current issue, it could be a very real concern in the future.
I am aware that this is not a small amount and doing something like this is not at all natural for me, but after years of being encouraged by my friends and ending up in what feels like a true dead end, I have decided it is worth reaching out for help. I know things are rough for a lot of people right now and I do not want to take funds or resources from people who need them, but if you are able and willing please consider sharing this or donating even a small amount to help me toward my ultimate goal of safety and stability. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
I do not feel comfortable sharing pictures of myself in part because of my gender dysphoria and the effect Graves' disease has had on my body [especially my eyes] but also due to security issues. I'm very sorry.
In order to fully explain why I'm making this post I think it is necessary to start with some of the circumstances behind my situation, though this is edited down as a lot of details felt too personal. I am struggling to cope with PTSD that effects me greatly on a daily basis and has throughout my life. Sharing the details even in short form makes me feel too vulnerable and I’m still learning to accept what happened, so please understand why they are omitted. The weight of my traumas severely complicates what is already a complicated situation.
In high school I was diagnosed with Endometriosis but was never properly treated. In more recent years I was diagnosed with severe Graves' Disease. I would wake up with migraines daily, frequently pass out and constantly shake. Despite being relatively athletic prior, suddenly I could barely walk or stand, and if I leaned down for any reason I was not able to pick myself up without help. I was in tremendous constant pain throughout my body, my irregular heartbeat was concerningly apparent and I could no longer close my eyes. After a long string of treatments, I have had an ablation and am now on Levothyroxin, however I have not been able to get thyroid surgery as I became homeless before I officially finished my treatments. I still live with the symptoms I had when I first got sick, but they are sometimes more manageable thanks to the ablation.
I was advised to quit my job by my endocrinologist and oncologist, and while I have tried to find jobs since, the pain and other symptoms were too much and without enough rest in between work days I was so immobilized by pain I couldn't even make it to work. This led me to take up freelance art to afford the cost of living.
I spent a couple years homeless and doing my best to save up for a stable place to live by working every day in coffee shops before the pandemic hit and I rented the first place that would accept me with what I had, so that I would have access to a bathroom and could continue to work. Unfortunately within the first few months of living here I have developed severe fibromyalgia. It runs in my family and was expected but i had no idea how much it would interfere with my work. I have spent the last year working away my waking hours or being in so much pain from the Fibromyalgia, Graves' and Endometriosis combined that I can't function. When flair ups hit I can't even bend my fingers, making it impossible to work. My income is irregular and I was already making just around enough to make ends meet, which means now with these forced pain-filled breaks, every moment I was capable of working, I had to work.
I was not prepared to move this year, and so I renewed my lease here. Despite the pandemic, my rent was raised significantly enough that, taking into account how my chronic illnesses have cut my income, there is no way I can handle all of my expenses, feed myself, and manage my mental health which- with PTSD and PMDD- need constant care.
Here is the break down of the 24,000 into what I am hoping for in order of importance.
13,000 to cover groceries and necessities, medication, and allow me to work closer to the pace that I worked this past year with the potential of a day off here and there.
3000 for help saving for moving costs to somewhere cheaper at the end of my lease.
1000 for medical emergencies. I have not been able to get my monthly blood work done in over a year, and so I can't get my medication. I have been rationing what I have.
7000, the cost of thyroid surgery. This is not something I expect, but it would help tremendously to avoid thyroid cancer which runs heavily in my family. As I mentioned I was supposed to get the surgery before but life had other plans. Because of the severity of my Graves disease they seemed to be unable to tell me if I had cancer at the time and I am concerned that, while I do not believe it is a current issue, it could be a very real concern in the future.
I am aware that this is not a small amount and doing something like this is not at all natural for me, but after years of being encouraged by my friends and ending up in what feels like a true dead end, I have decided it is worth reaching out for help. I know things are rough for a lot of people right now and I do not want to take funds or resources from people who need them, but if you are able and willing please consider sharing this or donating even a small amount to help me toward my ultimate goal of safety and stability. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
Organizer
Keira Williams-Brady
Organizer
West Jordan, UT