Give Lior Their Second Chance

Hi, my name is Lior (they/them), though some of you may still know me by my old stage name, Rae (@raenotlydia).

I have a hard time asking for help, so please bear with me.

TLDR version; I have been physically disabled by my chronic illness for the last 3 years of my life, but only in the last month have I discovered that higher altitudes are what have been debilitating my body since moving to Denver, Colorado. I need your help to start fresh in a new place at sea level in Portland Oregon, so my body can get the oxygen and atmospheric pressure it needs to survive, so I can pursue my dreams while I still can.

The Long Version:

This last month, for the month of May 2023, in Portland Oregon at sea level, I have been freer than I have been for the previous three years of my life living up 5280 feet in the mountains of Denver, Colorado. I've been able to actually go on walks without becoming winded or having to stop frequently. I've been able to walk to events on a whim because I have so many more spoons to use (The Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino). I've been able to keep up with cleaning the home I'm in, cooking myself meals, and even showering without a shower chair, all in the same day and all without exhausting myself. This is a miracle compared to what I've barely been capable of for the past three years of my life, from the time I was diagnosed with POTS syndrome/dysautonomia in May 2020 after moving to Denver from Phoenix mid-pandemic.

Back in 2020, when I first lost the majority of my mobility, I didn't know what was wrong with my body; I thought it was Post-COVID Syndrome (or long-haul COVID) because it looked like it in many ways. But I did know something else was wrong, I just didn't have a way to prove it.

So for the last three years, I went to doctors and specialists; cardiology, neurology, pulmonology, immunology, I saw them all. I took medications to keep my tachycardia and blood pressure in check. I drank immense amounts of electrolytes to keep water in my body. I had to change to a gluten- and wheat-free diet from the gastrointestinal flushing I was experiencing when I ate gluten or wheat. I had to wear compression leggings every day or I'd tire myself out early.

I was taking medications to keep myself functioning, but my dysautonomia still disabled me physically. I began walking with a cane at first, then a walker. It took me a full year to work up enough energy and strength to walk out to the mailbox.

I had to sit frequently or I would get dizzy and fall. Walking up and down the stairs of the apartment became a barrier to the outside world, and trapped me in the apartment on days when I didn't have the physical energy to go down or back up the stairs.

Everything became an energy exertion for which I had to keep meticulous accounting; I had to plan ahead for a block of energy to go to showering, another block of energy for making myself food, and another block for feeding our cats, Jonny and Karma. By the end of most days, I was exhausted, and had gotten almost nothing done.

My partner Jessica carried the heavy burden of what I could no longer do. And worked full-time. And became my caregiver. She would prepare food for me on days I couldn't feed myself. She would bring me water on days I couldn't even walk across the apartment without running out of breath. I couldn't work and was lucky enough to be able to have Jessica fiscally supporting both of us. I don't know where I would have been without her these last few years. (The Center for Justice and Social Compassion estimates that 45% of all people experiencing homelessness are disabled or diagnosed with a mental illness.)

It took three years of prescription medications, testing, pain, and suffering, until March 2023 when my neurologist looked at all of the data I had brought to her and said, "This is more than just Post-COVID Syndrome." But it wasn't until I was talking to Jessica about the potential treatments my neuro had suggested that Jessica had an idea.

A recommendation for off-label hyperbaric oxygen therapy for neurological conditions? That would run us into tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt. But hyperbaric oxygen therapy creates a concentrated space of high atmospheric pressure, and we were living on a mountain where there was lower atmospheric pressure than at sea level. What would happen if I went down to sea level, where there was higher atmospheric pressure? Would my symptoms be alleviated? It would be cheaper to move to a different state than undergo the hyperbaric oxygen therapy my neuro had recommended.

We used Jessica's savings and got a month-long stay in an apartment in Portland, Oregon. It takes 20 days for the human body to acclimate to a new altitude. I tracked my top three worst symptoms for the month before the trip and continued to track the severity of my symptoms as my body acclimated to sea level in Portland.

I was seeing results within the first week of being in Portland. I could breathe again. My dizziness was going, going, gone. My headaches were less frequent. My body was less painful. My oximeter claims 3% points more oxygen is flowing through my body regularly in Portland than in Denver. I had more energy in that 30-day time in Portland than I had for the past three years combined in Denver. Whatever my chronic illness was, it did much better at sea level, which finally explained why I had fallen ill right after moving to Denver in 2020.

I feel like I've been given a second chance at living the life I always wanted to, before my symptoms got awful, before my body became so physically disabled. I've been given a second chance at living out my dreams.

To be able to perform music again.

To see the world again.

To see more than the tree outside my window again.

I'm not going back to what I was robbed of for so long. But I know my chronic illness isn't gone, only abated, only lessened. I want to do what I can while I still can, for as long as that is.

Portland is a safe place for an artsy, queer and Jewish weirdo like me, to get back on their feet. Jessica has given me so much, but she is not coming with me on this new journey. She will not be able to help me any longer, and after being unable to work for the past three years, I don't have much to my name to start over again. I need your help to seize the second chance I've been given.

Even with all the heartache, there's magic in the air. Everything is changing, and maybe that's for the best.

Once I land where I end up landing, I will take a 6 month Google course to get my certificate in Project Management. I'll use that to find work, pay down my debts, finish my book, and build up my portfolio to apply for art school graduate programs. And of course, perform my music all along the way.

I may continue to search for my primary diagnosis, to suss out the reason my body still has the issues it does and can't continue to live at high altitudes, with the funding to do so one day. For now, it's enough to get to heal and reset, to prepare, and finally do what I'm on this Earth to do.

Thank you in advance for donating what you can, and helping me at such a crucial time. Thank you for helping me seize my second chance at life. You make this change possible.