We have been pestered to register somewhere, and this is what we came up with. We don't really need "stuff," so if you insist on giving us something, you can donate to our honeymoon fund. If Sam gets another blender she is going to have a BF. A bitch fit. Please review the film White Chicks for context.

Full disclosure -- we may very well use the money to update our house, because it is a hot mess and we'd like to sell it before it collapses. Examples of hot mess reduction projects include replacing windows, updating counter tops, un-uglying the bathroom, restaining the exterior, etc. This place is a piece of work. Thank you all for tolerating our lack of foresight/planning with all this wedding stuff.