Raising money for appliances that (a) aren't broken and (b) I can use with my disability

Hello! I am Brooke, a parent, cat servant, trans dude, retired pharmacist, equally retired banjo-player, and a part-time wheelchair user because chronic migraine has been knocking me on my ass for the last ten years. Wow, has it been ten years? Thanks I hate it. That's me up there in my wheelchair, my crowded apartment, my second-last clean shirt, and wearing two pairs of glasses for some reason.

How does migraine put someone in a wheelchair? I know, that sounds weird, right? Chronic migraine means you have migraine more than 15 days of the month, or in my case, more than 25 days of the month. It's fun! Besides the My Head Hurts part, which does suck a lot, the more disabling thing is that it steals your energy. It's a lot like CFS / ME, if you know that better. Meanwhile it punishes you if you exercise to keep your energy up, by causing instant worsened pain. There are some amazing new migraine drugs out there, and none of them work for me. I've tried over 40 at this point, and it's been professionally fascinating to me as a pharmacist, but welp, still got a migraine. All. the. time.

So I spend a lot of time chilling in bed in the dark not moving, and when I go out, it's in a power wheelchair, because walking more than half a block without one gets me a ban hammer to the forehead. So to speak. Even standing up for more than a few minutes is A Lot, and bending over triggers either brutal neuropathic pain (nerve damage from an old surgery) or a fainting spell or both. I have a LOT of those claw grabber tools in my house. I frequently use a claw grabber to pick up a claw grabber I dropped.

Ladybug and Sammy, looking unimpressed at my attempt to pet them with a claw grabber.

I have cats and the internet and my kid to keep me company, and I get by, but I can't work any more and I'm on welfare, which is to say, I am broke as hell.

SO, THE LAUNDRY:

Last night the washer died. But not before filling up entirely with water, and I spent my evening going fishing for clothing so I could wring it out and pop it in the dryer to return to being just dirty, and not dirty and soaking wet. Did I mention I'm in a wheelchair because I have no stamina? Well, today I'm in bed taking morphine to pay for that enrichment activity. Rude!

Alas, poor Whirlpool, I knew him well. There's not actually a green pepper next to my laundry machine, but my image software has a green pepper brush pre-installed and I can't stop putting peppers in everything.

Anyway, the washer needs to be replaced. Even if it could be fixed - there are at least two parts broken and possibly more - it's old enough to vote, has visible rust all over the guts, and if I don't replace it, I will just wind up paying even more money on a water damage deductible the next time it dies. Only then I wouldn't have a washer at the end of it. It's one of those cheap "laundry centres" where it's welded (bolted? affixed with scotch tape and chewing gum? It's crappy, y'all.) to the dryer on top of it, because that's what fits in my tiny apartment closet, so both would need to be replaced. (And the dryer is the same age, so they're both getting mail from the AARP at this point.) That would be about $2000 after the various de-installing, re-installing, taxes, eco-fees yada yada, for the very cheapest option. (Inflation is WILD, and also those are Canadian dollars. But honestly, that's the cheapest.) I do not have $2000, to put it mildly.

But here's what I'd really like to do. See I can't actually DO the laundry with my current machines. Well okay right now no one can, but I mean even when they're working. My son does all the laundry because I can't do it without putting myself in a world of pain for days. He's a sweet kid and does this without complaint, but he's getting to the end of high school and when he goes to college I am not going to make him come do his parent's laundry. I firmly believe college is for playing D&D and staying up all night to write the essay you forgot about. But if I got an all-in-one machine with a pedestal, so I don't have to switch loads or bend over, I could manage it on my own, even if I have less mobility in the future. I know that kind has a sketchy reputation, but I've found one with good reviews that dries well, doesn't turn your house into a sauna, and doesn't require regular maintenance that I can't physically do. It's still slow as heck, but friends, I have a LOT of time on my hands to sit and wait for the laundry to finish. But the machine plus a pedestal to put it at an accessible height plus the installing etc would be more like $3500. Which I also don't have. And while there are tax rebate programs to make your house more accessible, they all specifically exclude appliances. Dangit!

But also in the dreaming category: behold, the dishwasher. The dishwasher is also some twenty years old. It's not broken yet! We had a scare earlier this year but it rallied. But I am broken, and it hurts to use the dishwasher. It's, y'know, a normal dishwasher, you have to bend over and straighten up over and over to load and unload it, and that hurts me a lot. I would love to get a drawer dishwasher instead. In my current condition, where I can still walk a little indoors, it can be just under the counter, so I can load and unload while standing upright, within my safe range of motion. And down the road if I need my wheelchair to get around inside the house, it can be moved lower relatively easily, so I could use it from a seated position.

TL;DR: PLEASE HELP ME WASH MY UNDERWEAR, INTERNET FRIENDS

Wait that sounded better in my head

PLEASE HELP ME MAKE MY HOME MORE ACCESSIBLE, INTERNET PALS

Therrrre we go.

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH THE MONEY, BROOKE?

$2: I will buy a chocolate bar to distract myself from my filthy clothing.

$3-$1999: I will buy the cheapest option, it will work for now, and only some of it will be credit card debt I'm not sure how to pay!

$2000: I will buy the cheap option but without crushing credit card debt! Future Brooke will have to figure out how to do laundry solo in a few years, but present Brooke and Greg will have clean trousers and towels again.

$3500: MANIC PIXIE DREAM WASHER/DRYER COMBO, aka, I will be able to wash my clothes by myself, both now and in a future where I rely more on my wheelchair in the house, which let's be real, is probably where this is going.

$5500: I will also be able to have money in the bank set aside to take my elderly cats to the vet. They're 10 and 11, and Sammy has a heart condition and I want to not have to do horrible math if he gets sick again. If I have to buy a washer on a credit card, there won't be any math, because I won't have any money to do math with.

Wow okay that last one got grim. The cats are fine! Sammy is trying to sit on my face and Ladybug wants to get the appliance repair guy to pet her. But as long as I'm dreaming here, cat peace of mind is for sure on the list.

$7500: I will also get the dishwasher that isn't painful to use! A drawer dishwasher would make my life hurt less right now and let me take care of myself down the road when I need my wheelchair more indoors. (I had these last two goals swapped originally, but thinking it over, I would hate myself if I got the dishwasher and then the cats needed vet care I couldn't afford. So vet fund first, dishes without pain second.)

I know times are pretty shitty all over. People have it worse off than me, so many people. I live in a country where it's safe to be trans, where I'm not in danger of being kidnapped, and I have a roof over my head. I know groceries are expensive for you, too. If you can't chip in, believe me I understand. Don't do it if it makes you have to do your own horrible math.

But if you can, please know I am so, so grateful.