My Little Brothers Funeral

This absaloutley breaks my heart but needs must , firstly thanks to all my friends who have been so supportive. You all know me I work in the care sector and have forever , not the best payed job but I don't actually think I do it for the pay I absaloutley love helping people and making people laugh and smile , taking away the troubles of others is what I do best , but here I am with the biggest troubles. Oh and buying cheeky ice creams for oldies on hot days filled with sprinkles and sauces!

On may the 9th my little brother sadly died suddenly at only 30 years old. Robert was my last living direct family member.

I have never asked for help I've always just got on with it but this time I have to swallow my pride and say please help. Here's the story.

On may the 7th of may 2024 at 6:28am my brother contacted me he asked to chat , so we did via video call we laughed together and he spoke with my youngest baby who is nearly 2 and my middle daughter , it was a strange call he didn't say goodbye but he was saying strange things. He told my daughter he loved her and she reminded him of me when I was a little girl , he told her to always be kind and remember he will always love her , he then laughed with my baby and said "you have the most beautiful big blue eyes just like your mummy , I hope you get all the happiness in the world wee man" then sadly the signal dropped. I then recieved a call about an appointment he had as I tried to keep track of these for him. This is when he sent me a text saying "well who cares not gonna be here much longer , remember I love you x" if I knew then that , that indirect conversation was actually a goodbye I'd have gone and got him and brought him to stay with me till his broken heart and heavy head was sorted , but sadly I didn't at the time and I'll forever regret that I missed the signs.

I tried to call back but nothing , then on the 8th of may I tried to contact him but no luck , I was hoping to go and see him and go for a coffee as we promised that's what we would do. No answer so I gave in. Regretting not going and looking for him , and probably will for the rest of my life.

On thursday May the 9th a close friend was calling me continuously however I was driving. I arrived home and began to prepare my children's tea .. when my phone rang again , this time the words "Vicky your brothers dead" my heart literally crumbled into a million bits , I was utterly devastated beyond all words.

Police then arrived to confirm and this is when they requested a statement regarding my contact with him. They told me a report would be submitted to the procurator fiscal , the next day they called to say they had recieved the report and that my brother was required to have a full post mortem done which could take upto 8 days , the thought of him lay in that mortuary alone tore me to shreds. On Wednesday I then had a call to say his post mortem had been done and sadly they couldn't see an obvious cause of death so it may take months to have the actual cause of death established, more torture. I then contacted the lovely Jordan at M&F funeral directors in Musselburgh, he was absaloutley wonderful. I'm missing a little bit of this out because I'm physically sick when I think about it , anyway Jordan within minutes of calling popped on his celtic tie and headed to city mortuary to collect my wee brother , he called me to say "vicky weve got him, we are gonna take him a drive back on the scenic root and play him some celtic songs" the weight lifted of my shoulders was indescribable knowing he was safe with the team at m&f was enough to shift all my pain for the time being. I then arranged to take some clothes to Jordan and that very night Jordan sorted my brother and I was able to go in and see him , he made him look just perfect and played his favourite celtic song as I was accompanied in by the real life angel Diane, then Diane said "look he has a wee gift for you" in my brothers hand was a tiny bag with angel wings and a single white feather , I can not describe how that little act of kindness made me feel ill never be able to explain it in words. The guys kept In touch with me knowing fine well I was searching for ways to give my brother the send off he deserved. But no such luck , I am a deeply private person but how on earth could I pay for this it just couldn't be done , then came this idea , although I am utterly heartbroken I have to go down this route I simply have to.

So on that note if anyone can help me to have my brother layed to rest I'd be forever grateful for my whole life , I'm out of ideas. One day when it's my turn and he's waiting on me I'll not mince my words lol , he always said I always moan haha! He ain't herd nothing yet , I'll see him again one day then ill show him how good I am at going savage for a quiet girl haha! I'm missing his daily calls and messages. It was US now it's ME!

Forever 30

The estimated cost is over 3000 I keep raising the target to cover that amount a recept will be visible on here once all paid and all transactions viewable , thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far , I honestly can't thank you all enough ❤️ I really hope something good happens to you all in return for the kindness.

Thank you , please take care of each other , check in on your friends , sometimes laughter and a smile can be a mask.

It's OK to not be ok reach out x