Baby Ben Jakubowski

My heart is breaking for these dear family friends at the loss of their baby son just days before his arrival. Please join me in supporting Johnny, Hannah and big sister Nora through prayer during this time of sorrow AND consider joining this Go Fund Me to help bless this family and ease the added financial burden hospital and funeral expenses can cause. I would also love to send this family to Faith’s Lodge a getaway for grieving families who have lost children, providing hope and resources for healing hearts.

Here is their story...
For those of you who don't already know, mine and Hannah's son Benjamin has gone to be with Jesus.

The past few days have been a whirlwind of events that we never thought we'd ever have to face. Last Friday, we had a routine check up, and Ben's heart sounded stronger than ever. Flash forward to Monday afternoon, Hannah was feeling off so we thought it would be best if we went in to get things checked out. Ultimately, the doctors were unable to located Ben's heart beat, and our son was gone. Our initial reaction was nothing but disbelief, as he was due to be born in just a couple short week's from now.

Hannah went into labor on Tuesday morning, and at 2:11pm on 2/18/20, our son Benjamin was stillborn. He weighed 5lbs. 12oz and was 18.5" long. He was absolutely perfect! With a full head of hair, a cute little nose and all of his fingers and toes, we were in love with him at first sight.

The doctors all seemed dumbfounded by his death, as they didn't see anything noticeably wrong with him, and all of Hannah's blood work came back normal. The only thing they could notice on the surface was that his umbilical cord was attached to the side of the placenta rather than the center of it. Although they said this doesn't always cause a stillbirth, there is a higher chance of it. Ultimately, they tossed it up to having "really bad luck."

As you can imagine, our hearts are absolutely broken. Hannah and I were able to spend as much time with him as we wanted. We were able to hold him, kiss him, soak in the sight of his face, as we both knew it would be the only chance we would ever get to physically be with our son on this earth. His skin was soft, and he had that fresh newborn baby smell. We were able to brush his hair, and hold his little hands and feet. It was just as much beautiful as it was the most heartbreaking day of our lives. Ultimately, the moment came when we had to each give him one more kiss, and say goodbye (for now).

As a parent, watching the nurse take my son away was the hardest thing I have ever endured. Words honestly cannot express the pain that came along with letting my boy go. Sitting here a day after, our house feels empty, and there is a lingering void that is honestly rocking us all to our core. We are all in a lot of pain. More than we have ever been in. It's honestly hard to do anything other than lay down an cry, as we all feel numb. Watching my wife go through postpartum care while also having a broken heart is agonizing, and hearing my daughter ask where her brother is and wonder why he can't be at home with us absolutely breaks my heart.

Although this is a pain I would never wish upon my worst enemy, I do see the peace in which I can hold onto in the midst of this tragedy. My boy is now with Jesus in eternity. The one place we should all want to be, the place we should all look forward to.. he is now there. Although I am in pain.. he is not. There is nothing in this world that I could have given him that is better than where he currently is. During the time I have left on this planet, not a day will go by that I won't think about my son. I will always want to hold him, kiss him, comfort him, protect him, talk to him, sing to him, and just look at him. I will forever miss him, and long for the life I thought we would have together. The road ahead will without a doubt be the hardest season of my life, but although I feel defeated.. I refuse to actually be defeated. My son truly is in a better place, and I cannot wait until I get to wrap my arms around him again. I have never been more excited for anything than I am for the conversation I will get to have with him some day. I will never have to worry about him, for I know without a shadow of a doubt.. I will get to spend eternity with my boy.

Thank you to everyone that has been reaching out to us. We really do appreciate all the kind gestures and words. Sorry if we aren't very responsive. Our hearts our broken, and we are grieving, but we do appreciate all of you. Please continue to pray for us, and for God to give us peace as we endure this pain together.

Tomorrow is a new day, and one day closer to me being able to touch my son again.

I love you, Ben.