Let's Help Angela, With PTSD, Save Her Home

My good friend Angela, a mother of 4, finally achieved her dream of becoming a homeowner only to be faced with the likelihood of losing it only months after moving in. A few weeks before she and her youngest child were set to move in, she was attacked and assaulted while on the job. This has triggered post-traumatic stress syndrome from past victimizations which she has experienced throughout her life. This is causing flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and disassociation; and, she is terrified to return to work. Her employer is not taking responsibility but has offered counseling. Angela has been advised to press charges which will likely be a long process. The attack is not only affecting her emotionally and physically, but it is hitting hard on a financial level. She is on disability, but the checks do not match the overtime pay she depends on for house payments.

Angela has lived a very difficult life from day one being born to a psychotic, abusive father and a mother struggling with drug abuse. Her mother was no longer able to care for her and her 4 siblings and had no choice but to leave them in the hands of their father. For the next 17 years, Angela was subjected to unimaginable abuse by her father and relatives. In addition, she was responsible for cooking, cleaning, and taking care of her siblings, perfectly. If anything was amiss, she was punished, even if it was in the middle of the night. She was to come straight home from school and was not allowed to see friends. Her father told her that if she ever said anything about what was going on at home, he would beat her to a pulp, so she learned to be silent. The only way she could get away from this perpetual nightmare was with the help of her older sister, who had run away several years before and who got the police involved to help her and her siblings get out. When Angela was 17, the police escorted her to the house to get her belongings while her dad was not home. She went to live with her older sister and her younger siblings eventually went into foster care.

With no psychological help with all of her childhood trauma, Angela made a series of poor choices starting with marrying the first guy who told her he loved her. Her husband had a secret drinking problem and became violent. He lost his job and moved them across the country to his mom’s house. Angela thought that this would be the family she never had but she was wrong. His mom was critical and undermining. When Angela courageously confronted her husband about his infidelity, he told her that if she ever brought it up again, he would hurt her. His mom told Angela that the affair was her fault because she was a bad wife. She kept trying to win her husband and mother-in-law’s love by working very hard, trying to do everything perfectly, and keeping silent. Eventually, in a mad rage, her husband began to hurt their children and she called the police. She knew that she must care for and protect her children no matter what, so she left her husband and moved into a shelter. Using social services, she managed to get into low-income housing and focused on keeping her children safe in a dangerous neighborhood. With no friends and family to help her, she turned to a relationship with someone who ended up manipulating and abusing her. Scared, she got a hold of her sister across the country and her sister moved them into her apartment with herself and her own children. It was crowded, but Angela finally felt safe.

This was Angela’s first break from the horrible series of events that filled the only life she ever knew. Soon she began the arduous task of working through all of her past trauma with a counselor. For the first time in her life, she realized that she does not deserve to be mistreated and that she needs to stay away from abusive people. Her children finally had a stable environment where they could resume their childhood. Angela made sure that her children understood that they were not to blame for what had happened and gave them time and space to heal. She taught them to respect themselves and to not let others mistreat them. They made good friends and did well in school. She started taking college classes and found a job. She got involved in church and began to trust in and grow in her relationship with God. Also, for the first time, she was able to forge deep friendships and get involved in her community.

Throughout the next two decades, Angela and her family did well. Her older children graduated from high school and either began working or went to Junior college and then began working. Angela was still working on her degree and was working in her dream job -- helping people who were disabled. She truly felt like her past was firmly behind her.

Recently, there was an opportunity for Angela to buy her first home, and she and her grown children scraped up enough money for the down payment. With all of the available overtime on her job, she had enough money to pay the mortgage and all of her bills. She was so happy to finally have a place of her own and not have to pay rent anymore. She and her youngest child excitedly moved in, hardly believing that this house was their own.

Two months after she moved into her new home, while on her job, Angela was assaulted. This sent her into a downward spiral: not eating, not being able to sleep and yet hardly being able to get out of bed, reliving the attack, and reliving her entire past; and, needless to say, she is not able to return to work at this time. Angela has worked hard all these years to own a home, but the trauma already has her behind in house and car payments. As mentioned before, her disability checks aren't enough to cover the payments because they are based on her regular work hours, not the overtime hours she depended on.

Now, every month, Angela is $2500 short and is already four months behind in payments. $20,000 would get her caught up and give her some time to do the counseling so she can get back to work. Please consider giving what you can to help Angela save the home and car she has worked so hard for, and to give her a chance to get back on her feet.