17 surgeries & still want 2 live

Although it's hard not to lose hope when you struggle with fear for your life on a daily basis, I'm not ready to give up just yet. I have been stripped of a lot, but I still have the will to live and I still have my husband/soul mate to live for. Admittedly, there are times when the physical suffering becomes so much that I get too scared to even close my eyes at night for fear that it may be the last time I see my sweetheart. Last May, I never would have thought that the stomach cramps that I was having would be cause for much concern, except that my husband and I were 6 months pregnant with our first baby, which we had been trying for 7 years to conceive, so, we went to the ER. I remember being kept overnight and feeling nauseous and then I remember nothing except waking up on a ventilator close to a month later. I remained in the hospital for three months, most of it in the ICU on and off a ventilator. I developed blood clots in 3 out of 4 extremities and currently have one sitting above my heart. I went through 16 bowel surgeries and we lost our first and only baby that I will be able to have. During that entire time, my husband stayed, literally, by my side. In truth, if it were not for him, I would not be alive. Not only because he was the only one there when I went into septic shock and stopped breathing during a shift change but quite simply because I would have let go long ago were it not for how much I love him and the fact that I cherish the blessing that I have in him. Because of the danger of the clot above my heart, the fact that they cannot get central venous access to supply me with nutrition and because of the discovery of a major issue with the little intestines that I now have remaining, I was left with holes in my abdomen, a referral to Portland, and an unfortunate apology that there was nothing else that could be done to help me. In Portland, we faced the same difficult truth and we realized that our situation is beyond their resources to attempt to fix with any possibility of a good outcome. We came to the conclusion that the surgery would be extremely risky and ultimately will determine whether I live or die. As a last lifeline, I was referred to San Diego UCSD where I flew out and met with one of the top physicians in the country. What he told us gave us the first glimmer of hope since this nightmare began: he believes that he can help, but I need another surgery if I want any chance of living more than another year. Right now, all I want is to live. ... For my husband and so that I can say those same words, "I believe I can help, " to someone else someday and change their lives as it has changed mine. We are raising money as fast as possible to fly to San Diego and have surgery before time runs out for me. Every moment matters and anything helps.

Sincerely,
Danielle