Send the Statues to Mar-a-Lago

President Moral Black Hole is a big fan of all the "beautiful" statues of Confederate war heroes that were put up by white supremacists in the Twenties. He doesn't think they should be taken down. Respectfully, we disagree with President Drunk Uncle. We think that history isn't threatened by removing physical objects from public places -- only the fragile egos of cowardly hateful people are.

But in the hopes of reaching a creative compromise, this GoFundMe page is to raise money to remove and ship ALL these monuments celebrating treasonous racists to Mar-a-Lago. There, we hope, they can be arrayed on the grounds facing President Cluefree Hatehugger's bedroom,  so every morning our Dear Leader can open his curtains and gaze out at a veritable army of cold gray inhuman figures who represent the worst parts of our human nature.  It seems a fitting convening, no?

We have no idea how many statues there are or how much it will cost to ship them all to Palm Beach, but we're starting the fund at $1M*.  It seems like a small price to pay to bring President Soulless Talking Garbage together with people who really reflect his true self.

Won't you please pledge your support today?


*(If the logistics of shipping statues to Mar-a-Lago prove insurmountable, any and all funds collected here will instead be donated to the Anti-Defamation League .)