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Looking after Lewis

On Friday, 20 October my lovely friend Sharon lost her battle with ovarian cancer, which had only be discovered in June this year.   As an ovarian cancer survivor, it breaks my heart that it didn't work out for Sharon like it did for me, how I wish it had.   I gave her hope at first, but unfortunately it just wasn't meant to be. 

I knew Sharon from our son's school and she was a humble, quiet, lovely person.  When she was diagnosed her only concern was obviously Lewis, who's 9 and where he would live.  Sharon was a single parent with just Lewis.  To allay her worry and concern, I instantly said he could live with us.  She asked my a couple of days later if I was serious and I said yes I am.  He was one of my sons best friends at school and they were close.   My husband and I had adopted two children 3.5yrs ago and they both go to school with Lewis, so I knew he'd fit in.  Plus, Lewis lived with us during the time his mam spent in hospital, which on and off was over a 4 month period.   Lewis felt comfortable with us and decided he wanted to stay with us after his mams death, it was his decision too.  I must say at this point his lovely Auntie Claire also offered, but she's also had a very difficult few years with bereavement and I felt it was too much to put on her.

Lewis does now lives with us and hand on heart it hasn't been easy.  I think my two who are still fairly new to us have felt a bit left out and obviously there's been tears, tantrums and some regression, which happens in all adoptions.  It's been exceptionally stressful dealing with Lewis' grief and him having to come to terms with his mams death and also having to moving home.  It's an awful lot for a 9yr old to take on and he does struggle. We also at the same time have to reassure our own children they are still very special to us.  But, and it's a BIG BUT, everything day by day is getting better and I wouldn't change this for the world.  It's going to take to time, but we'll get there in the end.  Gin helps.

Why I've set this up and I must thank Ann Hope who offered to do this for me, she too has had her own battle with cancer and is thankfully just over a year later still winning her battle.  I've set this up to help us financially bring Lewis up.  It's his birthday in November and Xmas is coming and just funding his life with us.  Financially we are worried a lot and it's putting a strain on us as we don't want our decision to impact on our way of life, especially our childrens. We have already introduced a new child to our fold and we don't want them or Lewis to miss out on things we are used to doing. Lewis is with us until he decides not to be with us and that's totally fine, but any funding to ease this would be just fantastic.   The money raised will go towards Lewis' life with us, his welfare, birthdays, holidays, Xmases, decorating a room, if he wants a treat we can give him one, etc, etc. It will just at present ease some of our stress, I hope you all understand.

One thing I will say is we have done more than others for this little boy.  We have changed our lives for Lewis and our childrens lives, which I'm very proud of us all for doing so.   It's hard on all of us, but it's going to be so worth it in the long run.  Lewis sees his dad and some relatives and this post is not meant as detrimental to them whatsoever.  Everyone is happy with the current situation.  This is about our situation with Lewis.

Two months prior to Sharon's death we'd just remortgaged and moved house to have a spare room to use as an office.  We moved for a better quality of life and we gave this away in the blink of an eye to help someone out in their hour of need.   I'm just stating this fact as I truly don't believe many people would do this for a friend and child in need.  

I put £1000 goal as I felt a bit embarrassed asking for help, but we all know the cost of bringing up children, so trust me every little is going to help his future life with us.  

On a final note, I sat with Sharon in her kitchen on Thursday, 19th October when she reached out, held my hand and said 'thank you for all you've done' - that was the last conversation I ever had with her :(  She died the following day (heartbreaking and very hard to even write).  But she died knowing that Lewis would be looked after and be happy and he is.  RIP my dear friend. xx

Thanks for taking the time to read and especially THANK YOU if you've donated, it means the world.  xxxx

Keith, Ellen and family. x

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Ellen McNulty
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