Injustice in the Justice System
Donation protected
All funds raised will be used towards costs associated with the trial, including the $5,000 lawyer fee and $3,000 forensic physicologist fee.
The defendant's identity has been protected for legal reasons, but you may contact her with questions and concerns through the 'contact organizer' option.
Here is my story:
I was raped and impregnated when I was 18 by someone I had considered a friend. He left, but I kept my child and raised her with help from my mother.
I blamed myself for being raped. Although I had said no repeatedly and tried to push him off, once he entered me I gave up, disassociated, and laid limp. I felt that I didn't try hard enough to stop him, and therefore I was to blame - not him. I now realize that I had done the best I could to survive that moment.
Fast forward two years and my daughter's father agreed to enter our lives if I agreed to date him. I was still victim blaming and felt that a child should have their father in their life, so I agreed. He raped me two more times during the two months we dated.
The first time was the first night I spent with him when he returned. We were making out when he started undressing me. I told him I didn't want to have sex because I wasn't ready and wanted to take things slow. What followed was very similar to the first time he raped me. He kept advancing as I kept pushing him off and saying no. Once he entered me, I gave up, disassociated, and laid limp.
After that I said yes to all of his sexual advances because I knew that "no" wasn't an option.
The second time he raped me was a few weeks later. We went bowling with his family - I was the DD and he drank quite a bit. He spent the whole night flirting with the bowling alley's bartender, and it made me insecure. When we got home to my house, he asked if he could have anal sex with me. I agreed in hopes that maybe it would make him like me more than the bowling alley's bartender. As soon as he started, I wanted him to stop. It hurt so much that I pleaded with him to stop, but he kept going. I tried to push up off my stomach and he pushed me back down. That's when I knew I didn't have a choice, again. I kept trying to get up, but he held me down until he was done.
We broke up shortly after that, but he stayed in my daughter's life. He saw her every other weekend.
Flash forward another year and a half. I received a job offer out of state and planned on moving out with my daughter. He filed for custody.
During the custody battle I told both my lawyer and the guardian ad litem about what he had done to me. They both told me it didn't matter because it was in the past.
The county awarded him residential custody. They said that although he hadn't been present in the past, he deserved a chance to prove his parenting. They said they were being "progressive" to give a father residential custody.
In the two and a half years she lived with him, he sent her to three different daycares and a new kindergarten. She went from being the most sociable, healthy toddler and overachieving on all her development tests to failing kindergarten, having no friends, and being very sickly. After multiple CPS reports and a school report that reported her at risk for depression, anxiety, and many other mental health issues, he finally offered to sign his rights over to my mom, while in the midst of a heated custody battle between my mom, myself, and him.
She's now happier than ever, finally received medical intervention for her severe asthma, and has started 1st grade at a 5-star school.
Flashback to the last custody case - March 2016 to be exact - I reported the rape that impregnated me.
About a year ago, with help from some friends, I finally came to terms with what had happened and that it wasn't my fault. I've been seeing a therapist and healing.
This opened many old wounds and I suffered from nightmares and PTSD attacks. I resented myself for not reporting the rape as soon as it had happened because my daughter has suffered for my lack of strength.
That's when I came across an article that talked about the statue of limitation. I realized I still had 6 months left to report the abuse. I felt that even though I didn't have the capacity to report it then, I could report it now. That thought was healing, and so I filed the report.
I hadn't planned to press charges. I felt there was no way they could prove it because it was so long ago, but the officer I reported with encouraged me to press charges.
About a month or so later, I received a call from my mom explaining that a detective and two officers had shown up to arrest me. They charged me falsifying a police report, a charge with a maximum sentence of 6 months in jail.
Fast forward to now. I'm preparing for a trial where I am I the defendant in my own rape case. What's worse, my rapist will be at the trial and testifying against me.
This has destroyed me. I've never been lower. I started inflicting self harm, am lethargic all the time, and feel completely powerless.
I keep trying to pick myself up, and Amy Cuddy's Presence book is helping a little - more than anything else, at least - but I can't help but feel like giving up. I've suffered through so much already, and I don't know how much more I can take.
I hope to report back that the jury finds me not guilty of false accusations. However, I have very little faith in our legal system.
Your donations will help ease the finacial burden that myself and my family are suffering through. Sharing this story will give a voice to one more sexual assault victim being failed by the Justice System. The more voices that rise together, the louder they will hear our plea for change.
"The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack."
The defendant's identity has been protected for legal reasons, but you may contact her with questions and concerns through the 'contact organizer' option.
Here is my story:
I was raped and impregnated when I was 18 by someone I had considered a friend. He left, but I kept my child and raised her with help from my mother.
I blamed myself for being raped. Although I had said no repeatedly and tried to push him off, once he entered me I gave up, disassociated, and laid limp. I felt that I didn't try hard enough to stop him, and therefore I was to blame - not him. I now realize that I had done the best I could to survive that moment.
Fast forward two years and my daughter's father agreed to enter our lives if I agreed to date him. I was still victim blaming and felt that a child should have their father in their life, so I agreed. He raped me two more times during the two months we dated.
The first time was the first night I spent with him when he returned. We were making out when he started undressing me. I told him I didn't want to have sex because I wasn't ready and wanted to take things slow. What followed was very similar to the first time he raped me. He kept advancing as I kept pushing him off and saying no. Once he entered me, I gave up, disassociated, and laid limp.
After that I said yes to all of his sexual advances because I knew that "no" wasn't an option.
The second time he raped me was a few weeks later. We went bowling with his family - I was the DD and he drank quite a bit. He spent the whole night flirting with the bowling alley's bartender, and it made me insecure. When we got home to my house, he asked if he could have anal sex with me. I agreed in hopes that maybe it would make him like me more than the bowling alley's bartender. As soon as he started, I wanted him to stop. It hurt so much that I pleaded with him to stop, but he kept going. I tried to push up off my stomach and he pushed me back down. That's when I knew I didn't have a choice, again. I kept trying to get up, but he held me down until he was done.
We broke up shortly after that, but he stayed in my daughter's life. He saw her every other weekend.
Flash forward another year and a half. I received a job offer out of state and planned on moving out with my daughter. He filed for custody.
During the custody battle I told both my lawyer and the guardian ad litem about what he had done to me. They both told me it didn't matter because it was in the past.
The county awarded him residential custody. They said that although he hadn't been present in the past, he deserved a chance to prove his parenting. They said they were being "progressive" to give a father residential custody.
In the two and a half years she lived with him, he sent her to three different daycares and a new kindergarten. She went from being the most sociable, healthy toddler and overachieving on all her development tests to failing kindergarten, having no friends, and being very sickly. After multiple CPS reports and a school report that reported her at risk for depression, anxiety, and many other mental health issues, he finally offered to sign his rights over to my mom, while in the midst of a heated custody battle between my mom, myself, and him.
She's now happier than ever, finally received medical intervention for her severe asthma, and has started 1st grade at a 5-star school.
Flashback to the last custody case - March 2016 to be exact - I reported the rape that impregnated me.
About a year ago, with help from some friends, I finally came to terms with what had happened and that it wasn't my fault. I've been seeing a therapist and healing.
This opened many old wounds and I suffered from nightmares and PTSD attacks. I resented myself for not reporting the rape as soon as it had happened because my daughter has suffered for my lack of strength.
That's when I came across an article that talked about the statue of limitation. I realized I still had 6 months left to report the abuse. I felt that even though I didn't have the capacity to report it then, I could report it now. That thought was healing, and so I filed the report.
I hadn't planned to press charges. I felt there was no way they could prove it because it was so long ago, but the officer I reported with encouraged me to press charges.
About a month or so later, I received a call from my mom explaining that a detective and two officers had shown up to arrest me. They charged me falsifying a police report, a charge with a maximum sentence of 6 months in jail.
Fast forward to now. I'm preparing for a trial where I am I the defendant in my own rape case. What's worse, my rapist will be at the trial and testifying against me.
This has destroyed me. I've never been lower. I started inflicting self harm, am lethargic all the time, and feel completely powerless.
I keep trying to pick myself up, and Amy Cuddy's Presence book is helping a little - more than anything else, at least - but I can't help but feel like giving up. I've suffered through so much already, and I don't know how much more I can take.
I hope to report back that the jury finds me not guilty of false accusations. However, I have very little faith in our legal system.
Your donations will help ease the finacial burden that myself and my family are suffering through. Sharing this story will give a voice to one more sexual assault victim being failed by the Justice System. The more voices that rise together, the louder they will hear our plea for change.
"The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack."
Organizer
Candice Dungan
Organizer
Hudson, OH
