Surrogate Seeks Custody
Donation protected
I am currently involved in a custody battle for the little girl I gave birth to 3 years ago. I am well aware that, to anyone outside of my situation, the expected response is one of contention, after all, what kind of a person would be so callous as to try and 'steal away' the child that she signed away years ago?
I'm going to start with a very simple statement of facts:
1. Jacqueline's father and ONLY legal guardian passed away on November 11th, 2015.
2. I have been actively and consistently involved in Jacqueline’s life, at her father's welcoming and continued request for the past 3 years, which is well documented.
3. Jacqueline's father has always been completely open with her and everyone in his life about the role I played as Jacqueline's birth mother, including calling me on occasion so that Jacqueline could ask questions about being "in my belly".
4. I am the original party on his will to receive custody of Jacqueline in the event that something were to happen to him. (There has since been a codicil (Summer 2014) naming another party. The other party is also involved in the custody case and I very much like and support her in her efforts).
5. I am still actively and individually included in the will to take his 2 dogs, which he loved very much.
In addition, I am currently involved in a surrogacy and am 10 weeks pregnant; the intended parents are fully aware of the circumstances and are very encouraging and completely supportive. *If it matters- I have never been affiliated with any surrogacy agency and was recommended completely unsolicited to this current couple based on the notable devotion I showed throughout my pregnancy with Jacqueline. In Jacqueline's case I was approached by a friend I had made during my service with the Peace Corps on behalf of a friend (Jacqueline's father) of his aunt.
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The honest truth is this: I AM trying to WIN this case, but please don't confuse my desire to 'win' with a desire for any other parties to 'lose'.
Jacqueline is a special child. I'm not just saying this. She was born beyond her years, and even while she was still kicking around inside of me the one thing I was sure of was that she was an old soul and a very considerate one at that.
I would sometimes find myself mid-way through the day and worry that I hadn't felt her kick and would get an immediate response. It happened on enough occasions, that I found it to be more than a coincidence. So when, leading up to her birth, her daddy asked me what she might look like, I said, "I have no idea, but I know she's going to be a calm & considerate person." She's been just that since the day she was born.
Following her birth, I accompanied Jacqueline and her father back to their home state of Texas, at his insistence, and cared for her in the first 2-3 weeks of her life. I also pumped and shipped breast milk for 4 months to be sure that she would have a better start for her immune system, and I believe it worked as she is rarely sick.
From February 2013-June 2013 I lived with Jacqueline and her father, again at her father's request to which I eagerly agreed, to care for her and assist him in finding a suitable nanny. During this time I primarily cared for Jacqueline as her daddy was often working.
Since then I have visited every chance I get, taking 90% (low estimate) of my vacation days for the last 3 years to be able to spend as much time as possible bonding and being involved in her life. I have attended all of her birthdays and yearly check-ups.
Obviously working against me is the contract I signed 3 years ago to complete the surrogacy agreement, however I think it's compelling that I have been an active and invited participant in her life since, and personally feel that my mention and signature in her father's will, both for her guardianship and that of his dogs, negates any previous agreement and proves that my relationship surpasses that of the usual surrogacy.
The reality is that behind all of this fact and argument and intention to compel is a deep love for a child and an insatiable yearning and feeling of responsibility in seeing that she ultimately has the best life possible. More than money and a big house or material things, I want her to have love. I want her to be with someone who loves her above any and everything else. That will put her needs before their own every time without question or hesitation. She is a part of my soul and I deliberately and with conscious effort grew her into a human being and I want to see something I know to be so exceedingly amazing placed in a situation of growth and trust where she can experience true happiness and thrive, and be nurtured into becoming the best possible version of herself.
She is a gift to this world, not just to one person, and a gift to be shared. There should be no losers in this case, especially not her.
I want to make it clear: It's not my intention to steal her away, or keep her from the many relationships and attachments she's made in her short life. She's already lost enough. I wish to nurture these relationships as I believe they, in turn, will nurture her in this difficult time. I don't think I deserve her. No one could ever deserve such a gift. All I want is a chance to give her a great life; to give her experiences and guide her through her adolescence and nurture her in reaching her potential. I want for her a life of stability and security and trust; I want for her a forever home.
Thank you for reading my story. The road is long and uncertain. I think I have a good case. I have a great attorney. I have a heart full of love and hope. I am willing to do what I need to do to pursue this matter to it's completion and will not back down or give up on her EVER, she deserves at least that much. If there is anything financially you can do to help it would go to legal fees and travel between CA and TX for hearings. You can donate anonymously and it will remain completely confidential. If you can only send prayers, I know God is listening. Again, I appreciate your time and all the thoughts and energy you can devote to this angel of a person in whatever form is available.
With a little luck, they'll be more.
I'm going to start with a very simple statement of facts:
1. Jacqueline's father and ONLY legal guardian passed away on November 11th, 2015.
2. I have been actively and consistently involved in Jacqueline’s life, at her father's welcoming and continued request for the past 3 years, which is well documented.
3. Jacqueline's father has always been completely open with her and everyone in his life about the role I played as Jacqueline's birth mother, including calling me on occasion so that Jacqueline could ask questions about being "in my belly".
4. I am the original party on his will to receive custody of Jacqueline in the event that something were to happen to him. (There has since been a codicil (Summer 2014) naming another party. The other party is also involved in the custody case and I very much like and support her in her efforts).
5. I am still actively and individually included in the will to take his 2 dogs, which he loved very much.
In addition, I am currently involved in a surrogacy and am 10 weeks pregnant; the intended parents are fully aware of the circumstances and are very encouraging and completely supportive. *If it matters- I have never been affiliated with any surrogacy agency and was recommended completely unsolicited to this current couple based on the notable devotion I showed throughout my pregnancy with Jacqueline. In Jacqueline's case I was approached by a friend I had made during my service with the Peace Corps on behalf of a friend (Jacqueline's father) of his aunt.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The honest truth is this: I AM trying to WIN this case, but please don't confuse my desire to 'win' with a desire for any other parties to 'lose'.
Jacqueline is a special child. I'm not just saying this. She was born beyond her years, and even while she was still kicking around inside of me the one thing I was sure of was that she was an old soul and a very considerate one at that.
I would sometimes find myself mid-way through the day and worry that I hadn't felt her kick and would get an immediate response. It happened on enough occasions, that I found it to be more than a coincidence. So when, leading up to her birth, her daddy asked me what she might look like, I said, "I have no idea, but I know she's going to be a calm & considerate person." She's been just that since the day she was born.
Following her birth, I accompanied Jacqueline and her father back to their home state of Texas, at his insistence, and cared for her in the first 2-3 weeks of her life. I also pumped and shipped breast milk for 4 months to be sure that she would have a better start for her immune system, and I believe it worked as she is rarely sick.
From February 2013-June 2013 I lived with Jacqueline and her father, again at her father's request to which I eagerly agreed, to care for her and assist him in finding a suitable nanny. During this time I primarily cared for Jacqueline as her daddy was often working.
Since then I have visited every chance I get, taking 90% (low estimate) of my vacation days for the last 3 years to be able to spend as much time as possible bonding and being involved in her life. I have attended all of her birthdays and yearly check-ups.
Obviously working against me is the contract I signed 3 years ago to complete the surrogacy agreement, however I think it's compelling that I have been an active and invited participant in her life since, and personally feel that my mention and signature in her father's will, both for her guardianship and that of his dogs, negates any previous agreement and proves that my relationship surpasses that of the usual surrogacy.
The reality is that behind all of this fact and argument and intention to compel is a deep love for a child and an insatiable yearning and feeling of responsibility in seeing that she ultimately has the best life possible. More than money and a big house or material things, I want her to have love. I want her to be with someone who loves her above any and everything else. That will put her needs before their own every time without question or hesitation. She is a part of my soul and I deliberately and with conscious effort grew her into a human being and I want to see something I know to be so exceedingly amazing placed in a situation of growth and trust where she can experience true happiness and thrive, and be nurtured into becoming the best possible version of herself.
She is a gift to this world, not just to one person, and a gift to be shared. There should be no losers in this case, especially not her.
I want to make it clear: It's not my intention to steal her away, or keep her from the many relationships and attachments she's made in her short life. She's already lost enough. I wish to nurture these relationships as I believe they, in turn, will nurture her in this difficult time. I don't think I deserve her. No one could ever deserve such a gift. All I want is a chance to give her a great life; to give her experiences and guide her through her adolescence and nurture her in reaching her potential. I want for her a life of stability and security and trust; I want for her a forever home.
Thank you for reading my story. The road is long and uncertain. I think I have a good case. I have a great attorney. I have a heart full of love and hope. I am willing to do what I need to do to pursue this matter to it's completion and will not back down or give up on her EVER, she deserves at least that much. If there is anything financially you can do to help it would go to legal fees and travel between CA and TX for hearings. You can donate anonymously and it will remain completely confidential. If you can only send prayers, I know God is listening. Again, I appreciate your time and all the thoughts and energy you can devote to this angel of a person in whatever form is available.
With a little luck, they'll be more.
Organizer
Shelby Gale
Organizer
Oceanside, CA
