Helping Miss Meredith

What Rock Bottom Looks Like

The Injury
On December 29, 2015 I was teaching CPR at the library for the tween Safe Sitter certification course, and while twisting and reaching to correct a student's position, my back went out.

While imaging shows slightly more than average wear on my spine, like arthritis and bulging discs between L3 -  L5, it didn't explain the specific pain that happens if I try to sit.  *This is the primary problem, because I don't fit into a specific category of injury the spinal specialists can explain, the medical community says my pain is psychological.*  What happens when I sit is a tightening of the muscles, tendons and fascia in my right hip that pull my sacrum out of place, as well as pulls at the bulging discs in my low back.  I also experience constant muscle spasms throughout my pelvic area that exacerbate the pain. This requires that I walk very slowly so the muscles spams in my right hip and buttocks don't seize. When this happens I have to lie down on the ground until it passes no matter where I am. And the longest I can remain upright, on a strong day, without excess movement, is ninety minutes although an average day is closer to forty-five. I am "lucky" enough to have the use of my Mom's walker from her knee replacement surgery for trips to the doctor. Otherwise I spend 90% of my day lying on my back with limited options for what I can do with my arms because of how it affects my back.

The Insurance
A new law was passed in October that favors the insurance companies and makes it more difficult to win a claim with back pain. Not surprisingly, right after it passed the Workmans Comp insurance hired a doctor (IME) with no problems destroying people's lives by lying for money. The lawyer told me I couldn't have gotten worse luck because this doctor is a very rich man for getting away with what he does. He made me look like a liar, the insurance company dropped my coverage and I am suddenly without income or medical care while still completely unable to work and, thanks to this spectacular liar, unable to qualify for disability or unemployment.

The Library
Arizona is a Right to Work state, which is a ridiculous name for a law that really means Right to Fire. An employer in AZ can fire an employee for any reason at any time. So when the library sent me an email in April saying they needed to fill my position and I am invited to reapply when I can work again IF they have an opening, they were not violating Workers Comp laws by firing me for being injured.

What Are You Going To Do?
I would like to continue seeing the Naturopath here in Sedona who had been helping me until my coverage was dropped. Through electrical stimulation and physical manipulation we have made progress in the last five months. While I still cannot sit, I have been able to increase my standing time to a more consistent and comfortable hour, and my recovery from that effort takes closer to two hours instead of four. My pain levels at the time of injury were a resting 7-8 and now are a resting 5-6 unless I aggravate it or push too far. This is obviously still very limited movement but it's significantly better than where I was almost a year ago. I'd really like to continue working with Dr. Pihlgren to get even stronger.

I am so grateful for having been able to pay off my car, which is now my Micro Home. The money raised will support my medical care and treatment (I do not take any prescription medication) and keep myself and my two aging cats fed. My immediate needs included paying for car insurance, gas money, food and if possible a cell phone.  *Update! The amazing initial rush of giving made it possible for me to negotiate a last minute agreement with my landlord through the end of December, giving me more time to figure out my next steps. Thank you!!*

Deeply Felt Gratitude 
This has been a challenging year. Heck, it's been uphill since restarting the last time in 2009. I have faith that I will recover to a degree to be able to take care of myself again, but what that looks like is unknown. The future has never been so uncertain but I do know one thing for sure, continued pressure only makes the diamond tougher and more beautiful. This may be scary and painful but I will never let it dull my shine. If you are in a position to donate some money to help me through the next challenge of my journey, I would be forever grateful. If you are the praying type and can offer your thoughts and love, my heart will receive them with joy.

I hope to post update videos to my YouTube channel, Aquarian Librarian, to inspire people to live their dreams and not give in to fear. I also hope to show a bit of the adventure of living out of my car and to show you the response to my prayer to God to show me that there is still good in the world.

Thank you for your help.