Please Help Give Me My Face Back
Hi my name is Hostgator Dotcom yes legally thats my name you see several years ago I was dealing with undiagnosed Bi- Polar disorder. I had been dealing with it for many years but always figured it was just me being weak mentally and I had to be stronger.
I would go from one job to the next I eventually got a good job at the post office. I eventually got laid off when the economy got bad. It was then that my family and I got an eviction notice. I have 5 children that are my life. I didnt have anyone I could barrow money from. I didnt have enough time to get a new job before the eviction took place. All I could think about night and day was I could not allow my family to be homeless. I also knew no matter what I would not do anything illegal. As time grew shorter to my family being homeless I became more desperate. I eventually thought of an idea that had worked for me in the past. Several years before this I had read about a lady dying of kidney faliure. I sold advertising space on my back to finance my trip to California where I donated a kidney to someone in need.
I decided that selling advertising space on my body might be the only way to keep my kids off the street. I began emailing websites night and day I emailed. Most were not interested. The ones that were wanted to advertise on my face. My face I thought? It was a very hard choice probly a choice I wouldnt make today now that I am in recovery from Bi Polar but at the time I thought I had to sacrifice for my children. My parents sacrificed for me I thought so it was something I had to do for mine.
I sold advertising space on my face it kept my kids off the street for that month but what about the next month?
I tried to look for jobs but now with a tattoo on my face who would hire me? the answer no one would even though I have no criminal record our society sees a person with a tattoo on the face and automatically they must be a criminal.
This got me on a treadmill in order to keep my kids and family off the street another month I had to sell another advertisement and another and another it was a horrible cycle.
It got to the point where I was covered in tattoo advertisements as I am today.
I had hit rock bottom I was happy my kids were not homeless but every time I looked in the mirror I cried who had I become? Every time I went outside everyone looked at me like I was a monster. Although I felt I was far from a monster although not a perfect person I have tried to be as good a person as I can having donated 25 gallons of platlets at the blood bank for no money just to help donated a kidney donated bone marrow and volunteering around the community. Why was everyone looking at me like I was a murderer I thought? I was so down and depressed. We eventually did become homeless. I got to a point where I thought about dying but I kept thinking of my kids and decided I wouldnt give up but that I did need help thats when I made an appointment with a mental health provider. I was diagnosed with Bi-polar rapid Cycling disorder. I started taking an anti depressent and something for my anxiety as it was hard going anywhere with everyone giving me mean loooks.
I started to get better slowly but better none the less. I went to see a therepist as well. I continued to get better. I even got a job as a courier at the mental health facility that I was getting help at delivering their inner office mail. Now that I had a job I was able to keep my family from being homeless again. I continued in my recovery and eventually got a job as a peer support specialist at the same mental health facility that I went to for help. I used my own expierince with my mental illness to help others to their own recovery. Each step in my recovery gave me more hope more hope for the future I could give my family and more hope that I could be the person I used to want to be before the tattoos. I continue to work in the mental health field helping others with their mental illness. I hope to become a councilor one day the only thing standing in my way is the tattoos and my name. I have a clean background no criminal record. If I can get my tattoos removed and change my name back to my birth name Billy Gibby then I can go after my dreams again and be the person I know I can be for me and for my children.
I appreciate any help any amount helps
thank you for reading my story
Here are some stories about me that the anchorage press did on me you might like to read as well.
How Mental illness drove a man to sell his own face
I have received a few comments not so kind an that's fine people have a right to there opinions an thoughts. I will say this in regards about the negative comments I am sad not because your comments hurt me I'm sad beacuse you are so judgemental . I do thank you for your negative comments non the less as they will motivate me even more to be successful .
Again thank you all please keep sharing my page with friends on Facebook twitter an media outlets
I love you all
I have recieved mainly kind comments but a few that were not so kind saying basically I am a lier. I want to respond to that. I have had a few lazer removal sessions on my face. I still have several tattoo ads on my face altough faded to some degree. I have at least 10 tattoo ads on my head that are not faded at all that I cover with a hat and hair. so I want to clarify that so I am not called a lier anymore.
Man if I had money to help I would. And anyone saying you were the one dumb enough to do this or whatever, like the gem of a lady below, Corinne, don't even listen to them. I think you did what you thought you had to to provide for your babies and that's amazing. And while suffering with an undiagnosed mental disorder... I'm glad you got help. And the fact that you donated a kidney? And plasma for free? Kudos to you. Fuck the haters and keep doin what you're doin.
You we're the one dumb enough to do that to your face and now you want people to donate their hard earned money so you can fix your mistake!? I'm sure there are people on here who actually deserve the help. I have 35 tattoos, which include a mistake on my neck, which I am paying for the removal of it. Why? Because it was my dumbass that got it, so it's my responsibility to remove it AND NO ONE ELSE'S!!!!!!!
I am so so sorry for all these inconsiderate and heartless people. Of course you made mistakes, we all make mistakes, we're fucking human, but 5 children isn't easy to look after, and no one except YOU can understand that hardship. I am really glad things are going well for you, for the time being, i know it sounds silly, but you can cover them with make up :) just a short term solution until they're all removed. I wish you all the best and keep your head up, i know that one day when your kids are older theyll appreciate everything you've done for them, and good karma will come right back to you. Lots of love stay strong xx
You stupid, stupid ppl. You sit here and console him on what he did? If he was trying to provide a roof over his kids heads, he should have saved the money he used on getting those tattoos to begin with. "Oh look at me I can't provide for my kids but I can get porn sites tattooed all over my face". What a dumbass!!! There are other ways of helping your kids out without spending money on tattoos!!! Your a father who plastered porn sites on your face. Did your kids ever wonder what those sites were all about, having to see that everyday? *Shakes my head*
Im extremely glad i seen this and also hope that here soon i may be able to help financially but for now just know that it makes me proud to see a real man doing his best n having sacrificed his own appearance for his family. I hope you reach this goal and a job well done dear sir...you are an inspiration
I wish you the best. You are a GREAT FATHER!!!! And your children are very lucky to have you as a parent. Don't let anyone tell you any different. This is a heartfelt message, from one parent to another.
I'd ignore the negative comments if I were you. The fact is that you made a bad decision but under desperate situations. Mistakes are easy to make, everybody does it, but living with and trying to correct those mistakes are the things that take strength and support. I only wish I could be more generous.
It's not much fella but I hope it helps. Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes, but anybody who has done the things that you have done has to have a good heart. All the best.
Man i Can only hope that you can salvage your face! Best regards mate! Your a trooper!
can hardly believe the people being so mean....you were is a tough situation and at the last resort. now your trying to get back on track which is really noble. I have some mental issues as well... and previously kidney (actually had one removed) so I think its awesome that you've been helping like that... I get paid next week, so I might be able to spare a little bit... namaste
I'm in Australia and I saw this on a news article first impression was there is more important things to donate on, but I read your story and when I get paid this week I will donate a small amount I guess I shouldn't have judged before o read the story (however I myself have tattoos) to the people saying his stupid etc it's a persons choice to give no one should have the right to run someone down. But I do have a question how have you got your campaign or so well for people to donate I've got one running and finding it very hard to get people to share it around. Good luck with it your a great man putting family first
Sorry i cant give you money! But stay strong! Dont let anyone get you down!