Support through the toughest times

**Please note I am using a pseudonym to protet the identity of myself and my family.  To maintain dignity and pride, especially for my father.**

I am not usually one to ask for help... but I am struggling to find a way to make it through this chapter of my life. Any help is so very much appreciated. I am a firm believer in karma and I beleieve I have done many good things in this life, so here's to hoping it comes back to me when I need it..

This past September, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. As the test results came through, the diagnosis got worse and worse. As much as we tried to maintain a positive attitude and hope, we discovered it had metastasized to... well basically everywhere. Her prognosis was very bad and she was told she had anywhere from a month to two years, depending how she responded to treatment. My mom is only 63 years old.. The oncologist said they would treat her with the goal of making her comfortable until she passes away, and possibly extending her life a little bit, but that she would not survive.

She started to improve a little bit and we had a glimpse of hope... but then she started acting strange and the doctors were worried. They did tests and discovered that the cancer had also metastasized to her brain, causing her to act strange and be mentally unstable... This news was given to us days before Christmas.
More tests showed more cancer each time and it grew very quickly, she was in a lot of pain.  The doctors decided to stop treatment as it was too aggressive to even try to save her... The pain meds made her so confused that she someties didn't even recognize me.  She was scared, confused, and losing hope.... this is when I said goodbye.  She died less than two months later.


My dad did his best to take care of her, but she needed attention 24/7 and could not be left alone.  Finally two weeks before she passed he took her to a lovely hospice so she could be comfortable and he could relax and let the nurses do their work, but he was by her side every moment and is an inspiration... his unconditional unbreakable love for her was beautiful and tragic as they spent months saying goodbye.. My dad is sturggling to handle all of this, and I am the closest person to him and really the only person he can truly lean on.  I also promised my mom I would take care of him, so now I have a lot to do and am still unable to go back to work.  between tasks and helping dad, and constant emotional breakdowns I just can't work right now.  My job requires very clear focus, which is impossible right now..

These last year or so has been the toughest of my life. Two weeks before my mom’s diagnosis, my husband and I separated after 10 years together, and while it was a mutual decision it was emotionally devastating. He was my best friend and the biggest part of my life for an important period of my life but we didn't work anymore and needed to go our separate ways. I cried every day most of the day for 4-5 solid weeks, got sickly thin from the inability to eat most days, and lost out on a lot of business/income due to not being able to work. I own my own business, and I work closely with my clients, so being emotionally broken caused me to lose a lot of business and a number of clients.

To top it all off I got my tax bill, and while I had some money put aside it was MUCH more than I thought.  I managed to borrow money to pay it off but I am now financially in the biggest rut I could imagine.  I had to scrape together just to pay my rent.  It is a terrible feeling...  I also need to financially help sort out my dad, we are both struggling..

I suffer from anxiety and depression, which was under control previously but has started to bubble to the surface.  I am a mess and I have no idea how to get out of this hole.. please help..

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and consider helping me out.  I appreciate any assistance anyone has to offer and am grateful for your consideration to help me and my family through this tough time.