Post-Memorial Support for Melissa

As you probably already know, my partner Skip (also known as Joe or Sunsmith) died suddenly on April 2nd. We were partnered for 17 years and lived in our current house for 7 of those years. Along with the many emotional changes that his passing has brought, some financial changes have come as well - my expenses are about to dramatically increase. While I know I can weather this storm, I appreciate any ways people are able to help.

If you want to put money toward things that will support my physical or emotional health, there are things I was planning on getting this year that may now be out of my financial reach. I am grateful for all the ways people have and are continuing to show up for me. Donations of all sizes are welcome, and your good vibes are appreciated if you’re unable to donate financially. Please feel free to share this page with anyone you think may be interested or able to help.

If you’re a body worker and want to volunteer your time to give me a massage instead of dollars, email me directly and we can set something up. Healing touch is particularly appreciated as my body has tried (understandably!) to store grief in inconvenient places.

Tier 1:

This takes care of my basic needs - housing and stability.

This is simultaneously the most urgent expense (if I don’t get a renter) and the least urgent expense (if I do get a renter). My family has let me know they can help if I can’t make rent, and I definitely will not end up having to move out of my home. That being said, I would certainly feel calmer if I knew I had some buffer around this and my future housing safety net.

Covering next month’s rent and utilities without a renter would mean needing:

Rent: $1000

Utilities: $200

As I will no longer be covered by Skip’s Section 8, my own share of the rent will increase by $860.

I’m aiming to have a renter sublet a room here by May 1st, but back-up in case I’m not able to find someone in the next 2 weeks and assistance in covering my own rent increase would be great!

Tier 2:

As you all probably know, grief isn’t limited to rent payments. Along with my regular self-care, I’m looking for ways to bolster the things that make me feel safe and seen and taken care of during this time. If donations exceed my basic needs, I will put them towards things like the following:

If you’re able to donate $5, that will help me get gender pins, reducing my anxiety about being misgendered in public.

If you’re able to donate $10, you’re helping me attend community yoga classes this summer.

If you’re able to donate $20-30, you’re helping me get new shoes. I’m hoping to be able to get every day shoes, running shoes, and rain boots.

If you’re able to donate $40 or more, you’re helping me get a massage, get a new tent so I can camp this summer, afford to use a hot tub and sauna to reduce stress and otherwise relax, and set aside money for a rainy day.

Thank you so much for considering, and for the ways many of you have already shown up. I don’t know how it would be possible to get through a thing like this without community and even just knowing people are thinking good thoughts and lighting candles and so many other things helps tremendously.

Would you bring zir some hot cocoa? Ze is lounging by the fire with zir book.


Melissa Welter
Pittsburg, CA

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