Amputee dresses stump up

Right, my kind hearted quirkbags, my glorious jam butties:

In 2013 I had my leg off due to a mystery illness they still haven't diagnosed, so naturally I made a comedy show about it where I dress my stump up as celebrities and when i got my false leg I glued all sorts of lovely things to it, fairy lights, buttons, my back door key in case I lock myself out again... and i love that, I don't need to be a stereotype of a disabled person, I don't need to be greyscale, hidden, discreet or a paralympian (every taxi driver tells me I should be a paralympian, "Aye mate, and you should be an olympian!". 

Then...

then...

this AMAZING woman who makes AMAZING false legs that looks like motorbikes and unicorns and everything read about me online and *got* me instantly cos she offered to make me a BUBBLEGUM DISPENSER LEG. I had one of them happy-panic-attacks (the first time i had one of those was when I was two and i first saw a tombola) and but then I remembered that money exists (or rather doesn't) and I am a bedsit-kwik-save sort of girl (cut me in two and i bleed cut price custard creams). 

So i forgot about it. Deffo no bubblegum leg for me. 

But then everyone kept saying... do a gofundme thingy, so... 

and now it's now!