Help to fund treatment & hospital costs

Never did I ever think I would be in this position, I'm a giver, a helper and incredibly independent and hate to ask for help myself! But this year things have taking a massive turn for the worse when I was diagnosed with the hell that is also known as cancer. Colerectal cancer (literally a pain in my arse in all aspects!) has taken months of our lives, I've had weeks spent in hospital this year including a stoma operation (colostomy), 12 weeks of folfoxiri chemotherapy and 5 weeks of combined chemo/radiotherapy and my beautiful children Emily (14) and Teyan (12) and partner John have been by my side supporting me all the way, even though I know how incredibly tough it is for them to see my health deteriorate so much this year.

Following this treatment my cancer was considered too complex for our local team in Cornwall and I have been referred up to the team at Southampton hospital who are well known as specialists in the bowel cancer field. On Monday I had my first appointment at Southampton, the team were incredibly thorough in explaining my diagnosis, using my mri scans to show the extent of the invasion of the main tumour and secondary tumours within the surrounding lymph nodes (T4). Unfortunately whilst my treatment has stopped any further spread it hasn't reduced the size of them a great amount, and certainly not to an easily operable size. Which leads us to now and the choice we have to make as a family.

Option 1 is to not operate, perhaps have some palliative chemotherapy and have a life expectancy of around a year.

Option 2 if viable would be surgery. Due to the scale of operation it would be a risk to my life during the operation and my quality of life post surgery would be incredibly reduced, in fact, it would be the biggest scale surgery that my surgeon has undertaken and take 2 days and multiple teams to carry it out. Major arteries and veins to my lower limbs would need to be cut and rebuilt, my sciatic nerve cut and a full TPE operation where all pelvic organs are removed (bowel, anus, uterus etc) and I am most likely going to be left wheelchair bound with little to no use of my left leg and have an urostomy bag (for urine). We are still not completely sure if surgery is even an option until my next mri scans at the end of November. With the cancer so tangled up in my pelvis wall and arteries there is no guarantee that they can remove it all and 'cure' me and at this point the operation is being discussed as being palliative.

To hear that my children, my best friends in the world may not have me in their lives for a year if no operation and probably not even 5 years with the operation was something that no parent should have to hear, and certainly something that no child should have to endure. Telling my children that their mum will not see them grow up, drive a car, get married, be a grandparent etc etc was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life and my heart is shattered in to a million pieces.

So now we have the ask. I have until early January to live a lifetime with my girls (surgery would be in the first couple of weeks of the new year). A dear friend has kindly offered us accommodation in Florida and it would be a dream come true for me to be able to take them in December and go to Disneyland and make memories to last forever so hope to raise enough to help us to get there and do as much as we possibly can in the next 2 months, around my other appointments. If possible I'd like us to raise as much extra to help with all travel and additional costs that are likely if I am able to have the surgery. It is anticipated that I will be in Southampton hospital for the best part of a year to recover and rehabilitate from the surgery, leaving us with huge costs of transport, hotels and not forgetting doggy daycare as I won't be at home to care for the pups as usual.

I hate to ask for help for myself, but will do all that I can for my children so if you are able to then please consider helping my children to make memories with their mum whilst they still have me here and help turn this nightmare that we are living in to a time that has moments of joy and happiness.