Please help Kristy Brandstrup and her children

Hi, my name is Stephanie del Barrio and I’m fundraising for Kristy Brandstrup and her children. I had Kristy write up a description of the hell she’s going through. Any help would be greatly appreciated ❤️

FROM KRISTY:

I am embarrassed (even though I keep being told that I shouldn’t be) to ask for help. I am yet another victim in this awful system - divorcing an incredibly toxic Danish man. Me, being the foreigner, is seen as being at a disadvantage. Proving psychological abuse is not an easy thing to do in this country. Thankfully, I have been preparing myself for months, knowing this divorce was inevitable. I’ve been one step ahead on gathering proof, documentation, and getting legal aid to help me understand my rights as a foreigner.

The inevitable has come and my husband filed for divorce last week. He has seen his children a total of 7 days (and not even full days) in the month of July. He refuses to be in the house as long as I am there, which has resulted in neglect towards his children. He has cut me off financially and refuses to give me money for things like groceries for his own children. Two days ago he stole my laptop and hacked into it, reading all of my personal files that I have been preparing for months, for this divorce. Including a report of psychological abuse against him. Now he wants war. This has been hard. On me and the kids.

I have been nonstop on the computer filing reports, filling out applications to keep my residency (the fee is 10.000kr but hopefully I’ll be exempt from that) and on the phone getting legal help and guidance. It has been incredibly overwhelming. And he is putting me through all of this.. for another woman.

Over the course of our 6.5 year marriage, he has been verbally, emotionally, mentally, (a few times physically), and financially abusive. It has only progressively gotten worse. So about 5 months ago, I put my foot down and said enough. We agreed to separate (not legally) and we kept our house and 5 days I would be at home with the kids, and 5 days he would be. We did this so the kids could have some sense of normalcy - because the separation, in my eyes, was only supposed to be temporary until we could fix our marriage.

It became permanent for him about 1.5 months ago when he met another woman. They are “in love” and he has brought her into my home, slept with her in my bed sheets, and introduced her to our children the next morning. Ever since this happened 4 weeks ago, I have not left my house. Which has resulted in him not coming home and continually not prioritizing his children. He has no interest in having the responsibility of children. He is the “fun parent” and buys their love with toys and candy whenever he does see them. His actions and words have been so incredibly hurtful and have caused me so much heartbreak that I didn’t even know a person could feel. I love him. And that’s the saddest part of this whole story.

We will go to mediation soon where we will try to come to terms on who gets what and custody and all that. It is in the kids best interest to be with me more. I would like 10/4 custody and bopæl. He’s made his intentions clear that he does not have the kids best interest and he will move them to another part of Denmark so he can be closer to his girlfriend.

This poor girl has been so insanely manipulated by him and she has no idea what she’s in for.. I’ve received a long novel from her - that has hurt me even further. Threatening and letting me know that my kids will soon be her family, too.

I’m getting threats that his friends and family will be writing letters for him claiming that I’m mentally ill.. and this war just seems like it will never end. I never wanted a war. I never wanted any of this.

Now I would like to be able to start paying a lawyer before we even get to mediation. I want to be guided on how I should act and talk at this mediation.. I’m scared of this battle that’s coming. I have been with my children nonstop for over a month now. I do everything for them. I always put them first. I always do my best to shield them from any toxic behavior from their father. I provide them with routine and structure and healthy communication. I want my kids to always feel like they can talk to me about anything. This is something my husband has never been able to do - communicate. I am terrified, of how he plans on taking me down. I would like to start meeting with a lawyer as soon as possible. I do not have a stable job (maybe 15 - 30 hours per month) and I am a full time student. I have no money. My SU goes to renting a room from my friend (before I decided to stay in the house now) and I’m currently trying to find her a new roommate so I can stop paying.

Any help would be more than appreciated..

Thank you.