I discovered yesterday I deposited a bad check, and now my checking account is -$82. I do not have any money to put it into positive, and my phone is also about to be shut off.
A little over a year ago my grandmother died and left me some inheritance. I used the money to pay my rent for the year, which unfortunately is now gone. I thought I had until January, but I miscounted. I cannot pay my rent next month, at least not my rent AND bills and have enough money to survive. I am on the brink of homelessness and am contemplating selling all of my stuff to at least survive another month.
I have barely worked since 2013 when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder, and OCD. I have been hospitalized in psych hospitals over 10 times since then. I take 15 medications a day. Every time I start to try to work, I relapse and end up back in the psych hospital. I AM planning on getting a part time job in my field (special education) but I need something that is flexible and most likely evening hours because I have so many doctor appointments during the week.
I have a new case worker who is going to be working with me to get a job that will subsidize my SSDI but that is going to take a few months to really get situated. My biggest concern is the second I go back to work, I lose my food stamps. I need to make the max amount I can while still maintaining my benefits, which is about $810. Combined with my SSDI that will allow me to pay rent ($635/mo), food, and bills (phone, internet, gas, water, and electric). Even if I am to get a job tomorrow, it's going to take some time to build up a savings to pay my rent over the next few months.
After bawling in my therapists office for an hour yesterday, she suggested I ask for help, and TRUST, this is incredibly hard for me to do.
For those who don't know me, I've been very active within Philadelphia's LGBT community for the past 10 years. For the past 9 years I have served in various leadership positions with the Philadelphia Freedom Band, our community LGBT band. Currently I am serving as the marching band music director. You can find me at all the local pride events around the area with my trombone. Music is my livelihood. It is what helps me survive. My biggest fear is having to sell my instruments.
It is really, really hard for me to ask for help. I'd rather be silent and suffer. But that time has come and gone, and I am looking to the community for help. Please accept my sincerest gratitude and love for any donation to help me remain on my feet.
All my love,
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