Hi! I'm Esme, but close friends know me by Lucas or Lou — as depicted on my display name here on GoFundMe. I am 22 years old, and I am a pre-transitioned, transgender male, gender-non conforming Mexican American (U.S. Citizen) living here in Texas.

I've suffered from high cholesterol since I was 17, am at risk of being pre for pre-diabetes, overweight, and potentially have undiagnosed PMOS or even endometriosis.

I do not receive any assistance from my parents as they (primarily my father) consider it a burden, lecturing me for pursuing my passion in university, but I knew pursuing something I wasn't interested in would've costed me my mental health.

Since August 2023, I have been living across various locations, place to place with no stable housing. In that time of my life, it was a student apartment while I was in university, but I graduated in December 2024 with my bachelor's. I paid for this apartment until July 2025 from my savings as I hadn't gotten a job.

Returning to live at my parent's house would've been detrimental to my health, and I fear to think where I would end up now had I returned to live there. As of May 2025, I have been couch surfing from friend to friend's house, now my partner's mom's place, because I do not meet the income requirement to obtain a place of my own. I paid for the mentioned apartment even when I wasn't there.

When I obtained a job in late July 2025 and later on in October 2025, neither offered insurance since they were part-time jobs (19.5 hours weekly), so I was unable to get my health checked accordingly. Only my cholesterol, and I got placed on simvastatin — which I still take to date but am at risk of not having it anymore due to my insurance complications.

While I've been residing at my partner's mom's place, I'm in charge of groceries, toiletries, and anything else in exchange to live here while I'm on the wait-list to obtain my own townhome with my partner. There is a $2,900 deposit that I worry I can't afford due to my medical bills should I get a call that a townhome is available. The wait-list is 6 months to a year, having gotten on the list August 2026.

On July 2026, I decided to visit the dentist for a dental examination due to discomfort unable to focus on other tasks in my day to day life even though I didn't have insurance as I assumed it wouldn't be too drastic. There I learned I don't have the anatomy for wisdom teeth; they were growing sideways which would've caused my teeth to push inward and grow crooked. Uncertainly, I accepted due to lack of knowledge, and I was placed on a dental loan for $3,518.78. Since then, I have paid $1,200 — I submit a $200 installment every time I get paid bi-weekly. This is due December 2027 before interest accrues, and that's the last thing I want. Based on the math, I have $2,318.70 left without interest.

I began a new full-time job on July 13th, my first ever full-time job, not too long after my wisdom surgery, and I signed up for an insurance plan even though I've never had insurance and didn't know how it works. Since I have frequent doctor's appointments for cholesterol, chronic menstruation pain that ranges from my lower back to my feet, I thought the plan I chose would be suitable. However, on October 6th, I was billed $2,951.80 for an abdominal ultrasound and a transvaginal ultrasound — uncomfortable and traumatizing —which I cannot afford.

I had gotten these procedures done to check for signs of PMOS or endometriosis, and while my results reflected positive for polycystic ovaries and high androgens, I was told that my reproductive system was normal.

I have currently agreed on a payment plan of $200 per month, my first installment being October 20th even though I get paid October 23rd. Based on those calculations, I'd finish paying it off December 2027, but knowing me, I'll make installments every time I get paid.

I tend to pay $200 every time I get paid for my dental loan too, so that's $400 total I'd be paying — my paycheck dropping significantly as that's followed by groceries that range from $140-$200 since I ration what I need to stretch it out as much as possible.

With this full-time job, I am paid at a bi-weekly rate but the costs cannot cover any other expenses other than groceries and personal expenses (toiletries, menstrual products, oral hygiene necessities).

Asking for help financial is an incredibly hard hurdle for me since I was taught I had to solve everything on my own, but I don't know what to do anymore. The stress is keeping me up at night, it's making me cry on my drive home, and my hair is beginning to fall out and I just feel- truthfully, I don't know anymore. It's a numbing sensation that's beginning to close in on me with a persuasion to pursue things I shouldn't.

I can't rely on my parents because their first comment (mainly my dad's) would be how I have to pay them back, but that'd be the same financial hurdle. I pay my dad $600 every October and April for liability car insurance, and those months are even more painful financially. He jokes how I couldn't possibly be living paycheck to paycheck, but I can't tell him the truth without being berated and called irresponsible.

Asking for financial help is impossible with my parents as they request money from me, berate me for any little issue I want guidance from, so I've been my sole provider where I'm reaching a point that's mentally detrimental. It's making me consider things I don't want to do.

I can't even afford therapy, which I know I need due to how mentally exhausting my childhood has been — things that I thought were normal resulting in being not normal due to narcissism and having to grow up too quickly.

My two bills combined, both the medical and the dental, results in $5,270.58.

Paying practically $800 monthly for medical expenses has me considering sacrificing groceries for myself and only getting what my partner's mom and my partner need.

On top of medical expenses, my car is old — a 2001 Toyota Corolla — and I have some maintenance I need to pursue such as replacing the struts and suspension along with my interior roof since it's been disheveled when I first obtained my car in 2023. (Its used.)

I'm considering going as far as to sell all of my hyperfixations to obtain money, to get two other jobs, but my partner is against it since my mental health is actively declining with all of this.

Any help towards my medical bills would be greatly appreciated, as any amount would gradually lessen my stress. Stress affects the overall health of the soul and the other last thing I want is to get an even worse health complication while I navigate getting a better insurance that will actually cover my health needs.

Thank you for reading my yap, and if you're not able to donate, please share this. This took me so much courage to make, to write, and it's going to take everything in me not to delete it out of guilt for asking for help.