Help save a QTBIPOC friend's life.

Urgent – Please help a Black, newly come out Trans friend leave an abusive & restrictive home & relationship, and start their life anew:

Update as of September 8th, 2021 - w/ consent to share by friend: As a result of the donations thus far, my friend has been able to book a flight back to Flordia for next Wednesday, September 15th. We were hoping to have them leave last Tuesday, but needing to sort a few more things thoughtfully before leaving Calgary for good meant also having access to further finances to help them stay afloat as they start their new journey back home. Some of the finances so far are also able to help them eat, put away money for eventually getting a new home, and access to new household items as they took nothing fleeing their abusive relationship and home life. My friend's family knows they are coming home now, but are unaware of the depths of this situation - they know that they need to provide a safe place of stay for my friend before she gets back on her feet again, and this will take time. As further updates occur, and according to what is comfortable to be shared by my pal - I will post as they say.

While they are grateful for the support so far, there is a natural discouragement with how low the numbers are in relation to the goal. We have changed the photo of this gofundme, and the caption to hopefully make somewhat of a difference - it is hard to decipher what contributes to people able to donate make them actually willing to donate. If the title and photo of this gofundme doesn't do enough, we are happy to have feedback to learn more about what will. Thank you in advance.

My name is Melia, and I am fundraising for a close friend deeply in need. It pains me to start this gofundme, although the pain endured by my friend in need is most imperative – as well as why they are in need of immediate support. Message from friend who is remaining anonymous for safety & privacy concerns below, and I will continue to protect the details of their story, experiences and identity outside of this gofundme. Please help a dear friend in need if you can – and share with those who have the financial capability to do so:

Content Warning: Transphobia, racism, intimate partner abuse, financial distress, trauma:

“I have spent the last 8 years in Canada, moving here from Tallahassee, Florida because I met a boy online living in Vancouver who I fell hard for, and eventually deeply in love with. We have been together for those 8 years now, and the last thing I ever expected from him was to completely disown me, and disregard me when I came out as Trans. I am a Black, Trans-Agender femme – and for some reason I never expected coming out as Trans that I would be met with more hate and dehumanization then I had with being Black. When I first moved to Vancouver, I experienced racism on the daily. To be honest, what I experienced in Vancouver was actually worse then what I have experienced now living in Calgary these last 4 years. I thought I was making a good change moving to Calgary with my boyfriend mostly for more money, because we were both broke living in Vancouver, and I heard some areas of Calgary weren’t so racist dependent where you lived. It hasn’t been until this last year and a half living here, struggling money wise, emotionally, spiritually, and more through COVID that I started to experience more hate, depression and eventually violence in my relationship, and from the outside world.

COVID has already brought on disparities for everybody in all kinds of ways. I have started to see some of the true colors of the people and society we live in because of this pandemic. When I took the 4 months to hold back on and then explain to my boyfriend that I was Trans, he stared at me with a sour frown, asked me if I was joking, his face increasingly got red, his leg was shaking and he spat in my face. He watched me cry as I tried to explain to him how hard this was to share, and how I only told him to be true within my identity to the love of my life – and he asked me to leave our home until I “straighten myself out right” before returning, or I can be gone forever. I don’t want to continue more of this story about my relationship with my boyfriend because I can just barely type the rest out. I am in pain. I am broken.

Over COVID I have worked in 2 restaurants in Calgary, almost all white people – and definitely no Trans people. I didn’t connect with anyone I work with, and obviously I don’t make much money as the pandemic had cut my shifts, and eventually I had to leave the service industry because I couldn’t emotionally tolerate serving people making microaggressions at me about my race, or about my identity at all. I don’t have a lot of friends here, about 3 I can count, and no family in this city or country. I am quiet and apprehensive about asking for help, both from people I know who love me and strangers because I’m scared of more Trans rejection, and aggression towards me – met with an intersecting identity as being Black and Trans. Again I am in pain, and I am broken down. I have nowhere to go but home, or so it feels.

My family and my longtime besties all live back in Tallahassee, and I am ready to return. My mama, my aunties, my nieces and nephews know I’m not in a good place, but I can’t bear to tell them everything over zoom, or only over phone. I need to see them now, and I need to get back home for good. I want to do this before the pandemic really seriously hits that fourth wave where I cannot leave the country. I’m already scared of this being Black and presenting as Trans now, what I will be met with at the airport or anywhere else here. I fear that if I keep living here, paying for hotels, airbnb’s, (being out of money) because of this, I won’t make it far.

I aspire to go back home and live my life freely, with the acceptance of my family and best friends, with no abuse in my relationships, to not be in a dating relationship at all until I get some healing and access Black therapy, to go back to school. I want to work in Law and make a difference systemically and in the justice system for Black and Trans lives back home. I repeat again, I want to live life freely, and also happy.

Asking for $12,000 is a lot, but it will help me buy a ticket to go home, put money away to get my own place after staying with my family, it will provide me some money for therapy, maybe some money for school and school supplies, it will help me to not have to worry about beginning a new life, in the identity I’ve always known and just want to be loved for. Please help me if you can. It is the only time I will ask for this, and I hope to give back to my Black and Trans communities when I am safe, free, living in my abundance surrounded by love and not so much hate. Gracias."