I need legal help

Hi, my name is Karla, also known as Jessika, and here is my story.

I have 2 wonderful children with my ex, almost 10 years ago, I left this relationship after a friend telling me it was okay to leave for around a year. The relationship was incredibly abusive. I was not allowed to work during the relationship. There was physical, financial, emotional and sexual abuse, as well as a lot of cheating and other things that aren’t technically considered abuse.

When I left this relationship, I found employment rather quickly, and I worked my butt off to pay for bills, rent, daycare, etc. However, it wasn’t enough. I was making minimum wage and I couldn’t afford to pay for daycare and rent/bills, with minimal help.

I don’t have any family willing or able to help me. It has been me, myself and I since I was 14 years old.

This is where my biggest regret comes into play. I asked my ex for help. His work is seasonal, which means he doesn’t work winters, so I asked if he would take the kids Mon-Fri during the winter months, while he was not working, so I could relieve the cost of daycare and try and get caught up on bills. He agreed. I was supposed to get the kids back in the spring.

He never returned the kids in the spring. A few years later, court happened. Despite having a lawyer, I was not prepared for court, or trial. This was my first time in my life in a court room, and I met with the lawyer 5 minutes before court. I was not prepared in the slightest.

The judge did not look through the stack of abuse I had provided the court at all. She immediately sided with my ex quoting status quo, his family support - because he lives with his mom and dad, and has built in daycare, and his finances being significantly better than mine.

I was told by my lawyer that I could not go back to court to question this decision or apply for a different decision. I recently found out that I can go back to court, and I ultimately need a lawyer. I make too much money to qualify for legal aid again this time around. The retainer for the lawyer I have been speaking to is around $5000.

Recently my ex filed with MEP, and they are taking 40% of my income, so this has become a lot more urgent and there is no way I can afford it on my own. Even more so now.

my bills for April have not been paid, because I haven’t had the money due to this garnishment. I’m on the verge of losing everything I have worked so hard for - including my home. So the additional funds would be used to catch up on my mortgage and condo fees, and other bills.

I have been put on short term disability by my doctor - meaning my income is already only 80% of my regular wage. I am supposed to start day hospital in May to address all the trauma I have experienced in my life. But it seems impossible to address past trauma, when more trauma is being loaded on. I desperately need a lawyer to help me navigate court as well, I have always struggled with official/government documents. They overwhelm me and I panic quickly. I am also seeking an official autism diagnoses so I can actually access supports to help me through this.

If you are able, please, please help. I feel hopeless, and this is my last ditch effort. I have hidden my story for years - from everyone around me, feeling shame. But realistically, so many systems have failed me.