Hello hello!

I am currently raising money to help me get out of an emotionally manipulative and abusive household. As of right now, things have temporarily settled but cracks still show, nothing feels like home and I am in search of a small apartment and struggling to form a foundation in savings given my current living situation and struggle to revitalize the savings I lost in the process. If you’d like to read my testimony, please continue!

-What happened to last year’s GoFundMe?-

Last year I held a GoFundMe to help me and my brother get out of an emotionally abusive household after our mother wasted all our savings on a scam artist who promised the world to her and had to deal with the backlash that came from not having jobs at the time. We raised about 2.5k in a matter of weeks, and 4.5k over the course of the year. That being said, our lives took a different turn and left us both bounded beneath her care despite things seemingly getting better in the household.

My brother eventually moved out and pursued his career in the military, and able to afford his own housing. I still remained the only one who struggled to find my way out, and not many opportunities came available. But the environment was getting healthier and I had hope. Eventually, my mother lost her job and I had to support us both with the little I made and made it work.

It was then my partner at the time moved in and out of her rough situation, helped us out, and things were feeling stable again. Until last week.

-What happened now?-

My partner owned a cat, who came in with her when she moved in, and my mother noticed an uptick in fleas showing up in the house. Things were civil, we did our best to take care of things. My mother asked to use my partners car soon once her own began to go out of commission and used it frequently and constantly badgered my partner on issues it had and stacked expectations on her. The small things grew in number, my partner grew ill and had severe back pain for days where she had to be helped out of bed and did her best to brave through the day in pain.

-What happened last week?-

Last week is when the small pile became too high. My mother continued to complain about fleas, blaming the cat and not her own dog she takes out on walks. Putting more pressure on my partner and I, where conversations of appointments for cat grooming is being made for a few days in advance, but my mother wanted things done this instant.

I understand at the end of the day, this is her household, but we have been doing everything to appease her and go back to normal. My partner went to work, my mother and I had a chat.

An hour of what seemed as a general rant and frustration spiraled into claiming my partner’s pain was fake and that I was making her lazy. Claiming that our relationship, while relatively fresh, was bound to fail. While telling me to my face that her, her friends, our friends were dirty and smelled of cat piss, “Wooks” is the term she brazenly used and feigned knowledge to its use to lighten the offense. I took this to my partner, and eventually I decided to speak up and texted my mother how we felt and didn’t appreciate her calling our friends dirty.

This infuriated her that she had an episode that lasted the whole night, and eventually with my mindset was already deteriorating to the point I caved into self harm from all the stress. Having to deal with not just this, but her blowing up my phone and verbally threatening me and my partner via text while I was at work and wanted my partner to move out.

The next day was worse as once I got off work, my partner and I went out on an errand before heading home to grab her things and I got interrupted by my mom trying to reach me via call. I refused to answer, and she texts her saying I call or she’s going to throw the cat out. Ensue sitting through two hours of her ranting and raving, insulting my partner and I, and threatening her own life if I decided to move out with her.

I considered this a bluff, given her manipulation tactic earlier with the cat.

Call ended, and called a few old friends of mine who experienced this side of her to figure out a plan to get me out. The idea of moving out wasn’t so bad, but I needed things with my mom to settle.

We headed home, began to grab her things after a moment together to calm down, and eventually my mom called me over to check if I was thinking on moving out. She told me she wouldn’t be mad, she told me she wouldn’t stop me and if I wanted to go, then go; she said if I did, either she rents the rooms out or she harms herself. Saying this all with a calm, tired voice. I turned around, went to my room, and assumed the best.

She came to the room while I began to pack, confirmed my departure and then suddenly snapped. For the next hour, she would be yelling at the top of her lungs of how much of a disappointment I was to her, how I killed her, how it is all my fault and I can no longer go back, how I changed my priorities the moment my partner and I got together, how I am no longer her son, how I should be happy to get money off her death and how I should never talk to my brother about any of this.

My partner left outside while I continued to take her things out already suffering heatstroke, sleep deprivation of 24+ hours and listening to my mother berate us. But it wasn’t enough for her.

My mother blamed my partner for breaking our family, so she wanted to “break her face.” Ten minutes of me trying to keep her from leaving, Ten minutes of us yelling back and forth with me trying to make sense of her actions, Ten minutes of my mother flaunting her five charges for domestic assault and proudly willing to make a sixth. Eventually she backed off, I went to my room and texted my partner to leave fast in her car in fear of her getting hurt, and not even 15 seconds later my mother bolted out the door. Thankfully my partner got away and dialed 911.

The next half hour was a blur, but the shouting and berating never stopped. Police arrived, got testimonies from us both, my mother lied to their faces and got them to leave as quickly as they arrived, looked to me and said “I lied them so they think everything is all good” and threatened death to my partner in the process.

Everything was going so fast, so quick, I was tired, panicking, undergoing psychosis, and my mom’s whole demeanor changed the moment she saw the self-harm wounds on my arm. She dialed up 911, urged them to return and put me on a Baker Act. They arrived with my partner for her safety, helped her with her things. I said my peace with her, hugged her, my mom hugged me after and cried saying this is what I needed.

I was cuffed, taken to a psychiatric hospital for 72 hours, and released under my partners care for a few days.

-Aftermath-

Those few days many things happened. My mom called numerous times attempting a new leaf and plans for family therapy. My brother reached out to check my health after he caught wind based off my mother’s post about it all. And as I expected, with the stress of everything and having to relocate to a new home to stay, my partner and I decided to separate.

Today, she got the last of her things, hugged me, and doesn’t see a future with me as anything more than friends. She’s there as support, but everything became too much.

Now, I sit here writing to you all in my mother’s house. Looking back at it all and realizing it all really began because I stood up for myself.

Thank you for reading, and please, I need any help that I can get.