Drug Addiction Funding for Rehab- Rachel Pettit
Beschermde donatie
My parents will be only ones with access to the money raised that will go towards treatment in Nebraska so I will not have any access to the money at all. I need help. I don’t want to be doing this, I don’t want to ask people for help, I don’t want people to know what I’ve been struggling with but I’m at the end of the rope and this is my last hope.
Life was tough for me growing up, I dealt with a lot of really difficult stuff, my parents got divorced, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease and a few mental health issues. Life was exhausting and from a young age it was incredibly hard to deal with. As I finished up high school, and real life began, things just got more difficult.
I stayed in my relationship from high school with my boyfriend who I thought loved me, but turned out to be someone I really didn’t know, I started to see a side of him I had not before and things just got more scary. Luckily I was leaving for college and I thought things would get better.
When I got out of school in the fall of 2018 I made the choice to attend school at the University of Colorado Boulder. I didn’t want to move too far away from Fort Collins, as I liked it here and wanted to continue my relationship, but I wanted to experience something new, I wanted to be independent, reinvent myself. Sadly that didn’t go as planned. At the first college party I attended I fell into the wrong crowd instantly. I was offered IV Heroin, and wanting to forget about my problems, be someone new, and without knowing what I just started I did it. From that day forward my life would never be the same I began using heroin and other drugs on a daily basis, and quickly it stopped being fun. It stopped being something I did to have fun, if I didn’t have heroin I’d get more and more sick. It stopped doing anything positive for me, instead I needed it to even function. Heroin is expensive and my whole life just became centered around how I can get more so I don’t get sick, I couldn’t go to school, I didn’t hang out with people unless they may have drugs, everything was centered around this evil substance. By the end of the semester it felt like I had already spent a lifetime living this awful existence, for the last two weeks I was there I did nothing, I laid in bed, I barely ate or drank, all I did was inject heroin, pass out, and do it again until my time was up. But I survived that, and I had made the choice to switch schools to CSU. I thought I was wasn’t in that environment, around those people, I’d get my life back. But that isn’t how it is with a drug like Heroin, it doesn’t just go away.
I got home and instantly i was incredibly sick, it was unbearable, and within a small amount of time of getting home I had to find a way to get more I realized just how sick I had gotten. It wasn’t the environment that made me sick, I was sick, truly sick. Along with trying to manage this issue I made the huge mistake of moving in with my boyfriend at the time, what happened then doesn’t matter, but it gave me a reason to use even more heroine very day, to numb myself, to forget. Time after time I did try and get clean, but I knew people here, there were constant reminders or triggers, and within days I would relapse.
This awful cycle continued until recently. I had gotten to three months of clean time when it happened again. But things were different, I wasn’t enjoying this anymore, I had to have it, but I didn’t enjoy it. I was a puppet controlled by an evil substance. I lied to everyone I loved, I put myself at risk every day, I didn’t think how anything could affect me or others. I didn’t feel anymore. The only thing that would make me feel anything was the artificial rush caused by the prick of a needle. After using like this for a few months, I have come to my end. I have tried to quit time and time again it sucks me back in. I don’t want to live like this anymore, I can’t imagine living without the safety blanket heroin has been for me, but even more so I can’t imagine living very much longer like this. There is no happiness for me anymore, just fake feelings that go away and when they are gone things are so, so much worse.
I have made two big decisions that I hope will help me save myself. The first being I need to go to a rehab facility, both to ensure I can get clean to start and learn tools to stay clean, as well as to work on my mental health. The second being, that if through rehab I can make it through this, I will be transferring schools out of state, where I don’t know anyone, where I won’t run into people, were nothing will be a reminder.
That’s where I am and it’s why I am making this page, I NEED to go to rehab, I am convinced I won’t live much longer if I don’t go, but rehab is incredibly expensive. I have looked into a variety of facilities, because of crohn's disease and my mental health issues the amount of places I can go to are limited, but I have found a few that would fit what I need. The main one being Byran Health in Nebraska. They estimated that it would likely cost around $25,000 to go there. I don’t have that money, and my mom doesn’t either, and I don’t want to be in financial ruin, but I know if I don’t go I will die. So i’m here, this is a cry for help, if you have anything you can do to help, be it a donation of any size or even just spreading this page with people you know I beg you, please do it. I don’t want to die, I really don’t want to die, I want a chance at life, but I know I can’t live like this much longer.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and no matter what, please take away from it that one choice can alter your life forever, can rule you forever, and that no amount of artificial goodwill take away the real pain you will be forced to face. Stay safe.
Life was tough for me growing up, I dealt with a lot of really difficult stuff, my parents got divorced, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease and a few mental health issues. Life was exhausting and from a young age it was incredibly hard to deal with. As I finished up high school, and real life began, things just got more difficult.
I stayed in my relationship from high school with my boyfriend who I thought loved me, but turned out to be someone I really didn’t know, I started to see a side of him I had not before and things just got more scary. Luckily I was leaving for college and I thought things would get better.
When I got out of school in the fall of 2018 I made the choice to attend school at the University of Colorado Boulder. I didn’t want to move too far away from Fort Collins, as I liked it here and wanted to continue my relationship, but I wanted to experience something new, I wanted to be independent, reinvent myself. Sadly that didn’t go as planned. At the first college party I attended I fell into the wrong crowd instantly. I was offered IV Heroin, and wanting to forget about my problems, be someone new, and without knowing what I just started I did it. From that day forward my life would never be the same I began using heroin and other drugs on a daily basis, and quickly it stopped being fun. It stopped being something I did to have fun, if I didn’t have heroin I’d get more and more sick. It stopped doing anything positive for me, instead I needed it to even function. Heroin is expensive and my whole life just became centered around how I can get more so I don’t get sick, I couldn’t go to school, I didn’t hang out with people unless they may have drugs, everything was centered around this evil substance. By the end of the semester it felt like I had already spent a lifetime living this awful existence, for the last two weeks I was there I did nothing, I laid in bed, I barely ate or drank, all I did was inject heroin, pass out, and do it again until my time was up. But I survived that, and I had made the choice to switch schools to CSU. I thought I was wasn’t in that environment, around those people, I’d get my life back. But that isn’t how it is with a drug like Heroin, it doesn’t just go away.
I got home and instantly i was incredibly sick, it was unbearable, and within a small amount of time of getting home I had to find a way to get more I realized just how sick I had gotten. It wasn’t the environment that made me sick, I was sick, truly sick. Along with trying to manage this issue I made the huge mistake of moving in with my boyfriend at the time, what happened then doesn’t matter, but it gave me a reason to use even more heroine very day, to numb myself, to forget. Time after time I did try and get clean, but I knew people here, there were constant reminders or triggers, and within days I would relapse.
This awful cycle continued until recently. I had gotten to three months of clean time when it happened again. But things were different, I wasn’t enjoying this anymore, I had to have it, but I didn’t enjoy it. I was a puppet controlled by an evil substance. I lied to everyone I loved, I put myself at risk every day, I didn’t think how anything could affect me or others. I didn’t feel anymore. The only thing that would make me feel anything was the artificial rush caused by the prick of a needle. After using like this for a few months, I have come to my end. I have tried to quit time and time again it sucks me back in. I don’t want to live like this anymore, I can’t imagine living without the safety blanket heroin has been for me, but even more so I can’t imagine living very much longer like this. There is no happiness for me anymore, just fake feelings that go away and when they are gone things are so, so much worse.
I have made two big decisions that I hope will help me save myself. The first being I need to go to a rehab facility, both to ensure I can get clean to start and learn tools to stay clean, as well as to work on my mental health. The second being, that if through rehab I can make it through this, I will be transferring schools out of state, where I don’t know anyone, where I won’t run into people, were nothing will be a reminder.
That’s where I am and it’s why I am making this page, I NEED to go to rehab, I am convinced I won’t live much longer if I don’t go, but rehab is incredibly expensive. I have looked into a variety of facilities, because of crohn's disease and my mental health issues the amount of places I can go to are limited, but I have found a few that would fit what I need. The main one being Byran Health in Nebraska. They estimated that it would likely cost around $25,000 to go there. I don’t have that money, and my mom doesn’t either, and I don’t want to be in financial ruin, but I know if I don’t go I will die. So i’m here, this is a cry for help, if you have anything you can do to help, be it a donation of any size or even just spreading this page with people you know I beg you, please do it. I don’t want to die, I really don’t want to die, I want a chance at life, but I know I can’t live like this much longer.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and no matter what, please take away from it that one choice can alter your life forever, can rule you forever, and that no amount of artificial goodwill take away the real pain you will be forced to face. Stay safe.
Organisator
Rachel Pettit
Organisator
Fort Collins, CO