Coming together after tragedy to help Dale Mathis

Although I would never wish grief on anyone, Dale lost the love of his life, Patty, on 6/29/21 after cancer rapidly took over her body in a very short time. This was an extremely unexpected and gut-wrenching turn of events for Dale to wrap his head around in a matter of just a few weeks. As someone who has also suffered the loss of a spouse, I cannot express how difficult it is. But this isn’t just a loss for Dale and their extended family - his 8 year old son, Henry, lost his mom.

While I’ve known Dale for years through work, I never had the pleasure of getting to know Patty. I was incredibly moved hearing about their story and the tremendous amount of love they have for each other. Not only could I feel it in my conversation with Dale, but the nurses at the hospital also said they could tell how much Dale and Patty loved each other just by the way they interacted and how they cared for each other the way they did. A love like that doesn’t come around often.

Dale met Patty 20 years ago when he joined her place of work. One of the first things he noticed about her was her great work ethic – he said she always cared enough to do the job right and would find the best in everything. They spent many days talking in the parking lot after work, and he found that he stayed talking with her for hours simply because he didn’t want to let her go. He said she was a “kindred spirit”. They married March of 2007 in Phoenix, AZ and shared many adventures together over the years. One of the road trips they took together was to Oregon, a place they both fell in love with. He said sitting on the beach and watching the ocean was one of their favorite things to do together. They had Henry in 2012 and he was her pride and joy. Together they decided to move to Oregon in 2015 for no other reason than because it was exactly where they felt they were supposed to be. For the past 20 years, Dale & Patty created a life they loved. The addition of Henry and moving to the place they loved enriched that life beyond all reasonable expectations. He said they never took each other for granted and were the absolute happiest in one another’s company.

Dale wants nothing more than to stay in their home in Oregon but being abruptly thrown into a single income situation presents challenges that take a long while to sort through. Patty did not have any life insurance either, which only exacerbates an already difficult situation. After a tragic event like this, we also tend to make decisions out of fear or panic because we don’t have the time to think things through. What can I afford on my income alone? Can I stay in our house? Can I keep our vehicle(s)? What outstanding debts am I responsible for? What do I need to cancel/get rid of? Do we have to move? What kind of medical bills am I going to be hit with? Those are just a handful of the many questions running through his mind while mourning the loss of his wife and caring for their son. Many of those close to him swooped in to help wherever they could, and Dale shared with me how much he appreciates the love and support. As he said, when the sun goes out of your life and it gets dark, you see the stars. You might miss the light and the sunshine, but you learn to appreciate the stars. He feels very blessed to have so many people reaching out to help.

While Dale’s primary focus is making sure Henry is taken care of, I want to make sure Dale is taken care of. He is not one to ask for help, but I know many of you, like myself, feel helpless and want to do more. I hope that by coming together we can give him some financial breathing room and ease some of the stress and worry. This will give Dale a reasonable amount of time to assess his situation, establish a new ‘normal’ and make the best decisions for his and Henry’s future. I don’t know what I would have done without the love, support, kindness and generosity from so many people when I lost my husband, so I want to pay it forward. If you have the means of helping my dear friend, your donation would be greatly appreciated. If you are unable to help financially, I just ask that you keep Dale and Henry in your thoughts and prayers, and I encourage you to share his story.