Bud Paulding Memorial & Estate Expenses

On February 5, 2020 our family lost our beloved father and partner, Bud Paulding.  (Obituary for those who may not have known him: https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/postgazette/obituary.aspx?n=george-u-paulding-bud&pid=195382063&fhid=17240 ) Although he had been ill with cancer for some time unbeknownst to us, he was only diagnosed on January 16, and his condition deteriorated so rapidly that he was gone within 3 weeks. In addition to the heartbreakingly swift loss of this gentle and loving person, our family (ex-wife and dear friend Cindy, daughter Alyia, and son Devin) is reeling from all the financial and estate related legal issues that were left in Bud’s wake. Please know that we do not share this information in order to shame or malign him, but because we need help coping with a very real set of circumstances. We know that Bud did not intend to leave us with so much to deal with, but the facts of the situation are difficult nonetheless.

While anyone could tell you what a generous, kind, and optimistic person Bud was, he also suffered from devastating and undiagnosed mental illnesses, which his family members had tried repeatedly and unsuccessfully to get him help with. These illnesses were a gigantic barrier to his financial security and physical health and led him to make many choices that were not in his best interest. When he passed, he had no life insurance and his only financial assets were his house (which is both unsellable and unsafe due to hoarding, mold, and general disrepair) and a car from the mid-90s a friend lovingly gave him, now undrivable.

The expenses related to Bud’s illness, passing, and estate are large. We were fortunate enough to receive some help to cope with these, but many have had to be paid immediately, and many more lie ahead. It is important to note that we do not even know the extent of the expenses and may need to pay for more than what we have identified.

We are beyond grateful that Bud’s last few weeks were spent surrounded by people who loved him, and the amount of kindness that poured out from friends near and far touched  his heart and all of ours. It is truly a testament to how many people he helped and loved during his lifetime. We know the number we hope to reach is large, but we are hopeful that many people will be able to make a small gesture in his memory, allowing his affairs to be concluded successfully and easing the burden on his family. 

Here are costs we have identified so far.

--Memorial celebration. Bud wanted to have a party, not a funeral, and we want to honor and celebrate his life in accordance with his wishes. Our plan is to rent an outdoor picnic shelter when the weather is warmer and welcome everyone who loved him to share food, drink, and stories. Because Bud knew so many people, we expect there will likely be a large turnout. 

--Back taxes on his house, which the family may end up being responsible for. 

--Legal expenses. Cindy paid for his will to be updated prior to his death as well as the costs of obtaining power of attorney when it became clear that Bud could no longer manage his affairs. It is also possible we will need to retain the services of an estate attorney. 

--Final expenses for Bud,- death certificates, obituary placement, costs related to cremation and dispersal of ashes. 

--Costs related to maintaining Bud’s house for the time being. We expect that the house will eventually be seized as a result of back taxes, by Medicaid, or potentially other government agencies, but in the meantime we have to pay the electric bills and home insurance. We also must pay for protective gear for family members to combat mold in his house.

--Costs related to Bud’s storage space. We will be inspecting and emptying the storage space as soon as possible, but in the meantime we must pay the $80/month cost, and when the unit is emptied we will need to rent a truck to transport and/or dispose of the items inside. 

--Costs related to obtaining duplicate vehicle titles and arranging for towing from an extremely difficult location. While the car will probably be donated to charity, titles are required and we may be responsible for towing costs, as Bud’s street is a one-lane winding road through the woods with a very steep drop off on one side, several areas with subsidence, and only one very dangerous place to turn around near a place where the road has fallen away.

--Reimbursement for family members. Bud’s condition was so serious that we needed to drop everything and attend to his many needs as his illness worsened. While we would never have dreamed of doing otherwise, becoming his caretakers came with costs on many levels. Cindy and Devin had to give up work shifts and lost significant wages as a result. We accrued costs for long-distance travel, living expenses, and transportation to and from nursing homes, hospitals, and many other places we had to go. Bud had many urgent needs for particular clothing, food, medical supplies, and comfort items during his illness that we rushed to provide. 

If we receive more than is needed to cover his costs, we will make a donation to the International Wolf Center to help protect these magnificent animals who inspired Bud so much.

Our gratitude for whatever you feel comfortable giving knows no bounds. Thank you for helping us to honor the life of the irreplaceable and goodhearted man we all loved so very much.