Becky Basket for Homicide Survivors
Becky’s Basket: Support for Homicide Survivors
On October 4th, 1994-at just 10 years old-the safe, innocent world I had come to know ended abruptly. That night, my mother, Becky Hauser, was pulled over by what she thought to be a police car. In reality, the vehicle contained 4 troubled runaway teenagers. After my mother refused to give them her vehicle, she was brutally murdered at the hands of these complete strangers. It has been over 20 years since she was taken from me, and I can say that dealing with this tragedy is something I still do on a daily basis.
As violence appears to be a growing epidemic in our country, I feel it necessary as a homicide survivor myself, to reach out to other young families and children who have lost loved ones to homicide. Healing after a violent death can seem nearly impossible-even for a child. I have put together what I call the ‘Becky Basket’ which provides resources to support other young homicide survivors.
In these baskets, I have included books which discuss grief and trauma. The basket also contains a sketch pad and crayons, along with a journal and pen to better express young feelings. I have also added a stress ball and tissues for comfort. A picture frame is included to keep the memory of their loved one alive. Along with these items, will be a letter from myself. I discuss my own experiences and struggles of losing my mother violently when young.
The ‘Becky Bunny’ is the last-and what I feel to be-most important item in my basket. I have listed here it’s description as it is written in all the baskets for other young survivors to read:
Becky Bunny: For me, the most important gift of all-a reminder that our loved ones are always with us. They say that when you see a Cardinal bird it symbolizes an ‘angel visiting from heaven’, but in my case, it has always been a rabbit, the ‘Becky Bunny’. My mother was buried in our family cemetery next to our farm home. The only thing that separated us was a small field. As a kid, I would go there frequently and spend entire days climbing the large trees just to be close to my mom. After a while, I noticed that in all my visits to the cemetery, there was always a rabbit watching me. I began to see bunnies constantly, and over time, felt as though they embodied my mother’s presence. As an adult, our first house was also home to rabbits in the bushes by our front steps. When bringing home my first child, a rabbit was sitting by the door as if to say, ‘proud first-time grandma’. When we moved, I wondered if we would still have rabbits. At this time, their over-abundant presence in our backyard tells me they will be around for years to come. Whether you are reminded of your loved one by the presence of a bird, a rabbit, or something entirely different, may you always be comforted by your loved one’s memory and the feeling that they are never truly gone.
In working with homicide programs, it is my goal to get these baskets into the homes of young homicide survivors. Please help me in supporting these grieving families and children. Any donation would be greatly appreciated.
The Becky Basket: in memory of my mother, Becky Hauser, and in honor of her love of children.