How it all began;
7 months ago, on the 6th of December after 3 long years of trying to conceive our hearts were filled with so much love, so much joy, so much happiness. Our beautiful daughter Summer chose us to be her parents, for the first time in all our years we finally had a little soul choose us. And how blessed we were!
At 6 weeks was when we first got to lay eyes on her, there she was, a tiny little sesame seed, but she was ours, and we loved her more than life itself.
7 weeks comes around and holy dooly was I sick, Chris was madly juicing and googling for recipes that would help me not vomit all day long. But mostly he wanted to make sure Summer was getting everything she needed to grow big and strong. And she was!
For 7 and a half weeks I kept vomiting, Chris kept juicing and our love kept growing, So did she! All our scans she measured at least 1 1/2 weeks ahead, she was an over achiever from the start.
At our 12-week scan there she was again, this time she was a little person not a sesame seed. We spent an hour whilst the nice lady showed us every last inch of her, from her beating heart right down to her 10 fingers and toes. Tears welled in our eyes that we had created such a perfect little person. Everything was perfect, not an issue in the world, all signs pointed to pure perfection in every single way.
We continued to watch Summer grow, along with my belly, feet and sausage fingers. We built her nursery, it is a jungle theme, mostly elephants to be honest. We did not argue whilst we built the nursery furniture, instead we smiled and laughed and talked about all the wonderful things we couldn't wait to do with her. We were always talking about our Miss Summer Jane.
20 week scan, My Mum came along and got to see Miss Summer in all her beauty, again everything was perfect.
Then she started dancing, she was so cheeky and loved dancing, mostly late at night and early in the morning. 3am – 4am was party time......I didn’t get much sleep. Every morning she woke right before Chris's alarm, as if she was saying “Hey dad don’t forget to say goodbye to me”
At 25 weeks my Mum treated me to a 3D Scan, only 2 people were allowed so just Mum and I went, how special it was. Summer was showing off, opening her eyes and mouth, moving to no end, always dancing and living her best life. We got Summer's heartbeat placed in an elephant wearing a pink tutu and watched the video once we got home again with Dad and Chris, I could watch that video every day. Chris and I had decided we would go back and do another one around 30 weeks together when she was bigger.
19th May 2020 - The day our world stood still;
At 27 weeks, Summer's dancing slowed, call it mother's instinct but I knew something wasn't right, so up to the hospital we go to check it out. The wonderful midwife and doctor sat with us whilst the ultrasound machine warmed up, then we seen her again, there she was perfect as always and on the right hand side down low.........but this time her heart wasn't beating. I held my breath, the walls started closing in. I honestly don't think either of us have breathed properly since. Our hearts broke, the tears fell. No one knew why, but our Summer was gone, our beautiful dancing baby girl......
22nd May 2020 - The day Summer was Earth side;
After 6 hours of labour, Summer was ready, we were not, but we had no choice. Summer greeted us Earth side at 6:52am on the morning of the 22nd May. It was a Friday.
We will always remember the day our Summer was born, not for the sadness but for its beauty, once we held her all the pain in our hearts was healed by our love for her, to be so overwhelmed by love that nothing else mattered. We did not see her sleeping, we seen our baby Summer, we seen her perfect hands and feet, full head of hair, long blonde eye lashes, pink stained lips, button nose and even her sideburns. We soaked her in, every inch of her! And for those 2 incredibly special days we shared the most beautiful memories as a family.
Summer was perfect, she was all the best bits of us in one tiny perfect human.
During our birth and the 2 days that followed during our stay at the hospital the 3 of us (Chris, Summer & I) were treated with so much love and respect by not only the midwifes and doctors but also the admin and cleaning staff. We cannot ever explain the kindness we experienced during our saddest moments. Our Summer was recognised like any other baby born she was held and adored by all that met her. Our hearts were touched and we feel we can never repay our debt to these incredible people during this time. Which is what has been our sole motivation in generating this page and raising these funds.
STATISTICS - OUR VISION
Australia is one of the safest places in the world to give birth YET 6 babies a day are born sleeping.
Stillbirth affects over 2000 Australian families each year. For every 137 women whom reach 20 weeks gestation one will experience the delivery of a sleeping baby. These statistics despite all medical research have not changed in the last decade.
Our vision is to not only raise money for much needed equipment for families of sleeping babies, but to also raise awareness.
To make everyone realise this is NOT a taboo subject, this happens, this is real.
65% of all still births have no reason for the tragedy, families get no answers.
Stillbirth is one of the most devastating and profound events that any parent is likely ever to experience. The overwhelming feeling of grief and pain is indescribable. It is a long hard journey that no parent should ever have to experience. It is a walk that is personal and private and one that takes a very long time and needs to be done so gently and with love. Although we do not have our babies to hold in our arms they are forever in our hearts and lives and we are in every right still PARENTS. We want sleeping babies acknowledged, always speak their names loudly and with love.
All monies raised will be donated in Summer's name to the Toowoomba Base Hospital Harbison Ward and Birthing Suite for future families of sleeping babies to buy much needed equipment and items that families will treasure for a lifetime:
- Cuddle cot ($6500) - these special cots allow families to spend time with their babies whilst in hospital, this time allows parents to bath, dress, cuddle, take photos, family to meet baby and time to process everything before saying final farewells.
- Materials to make cuddle hearts ($200) - cuddle hearts are made for babies and their families, these are exchanged at the time they say their final farewell's, it symbolises an exchange of hearts during this time to keep with each other always.
- Inkless print kits ($300) - for families to have hand and footprints of their babies to keep forever without their precious little babies hands and feet being stained with ink
Thank you all for taking the time out to hear our story and vision, we hope you find it within your heart to help us help other families on their journey.
We cannot put into words what the above 3 items meant to us, which is why we are so passionate about paying it forward.
Hold all your babies tight tonight for us and all the families of Angel babies.
Much love Kirsty, Chris & Summer Jane xx
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