Ash Cash’s Top Surgery
I couldn’t seem to find a reason why I have the right to ask for your help. Couldn’t decipher whether I was feeling pride or shame. I’ve found it to be a strange mixture of both, but I’ve decided to assign my ego to the backseat lol.
I really need help, I have had a goal of top surgery for years now. No matter how I tried to deny, ignore, or come to terms with it the dysphoria surrounding my chest is an ongoing agonizing separation from self. However this was going to be the year! I made a promise to myself that no matter what this year I was gonna do it, I was going to stop telling myself I hated who I was at every glance at my reflection. I was going to stop taping my chest up first thing in the morning, and grimacing as I leave scars behind to remove it at the end of the night. I am exhausted trying to make my huge, proud identity fit into a body that makes me feel.. so small. I want to be free.
So I got the right insurance; I got the right letters; I even saved up as much as I could. I thought all that was left to do was wait... After COVID pushing my approval and causing my documents to expire, after reattempting 6 months after my first applications, after waiting patiently and forking over 400 dollars a month for an insurance that did me no good- I was denied, and back to square one.
I’m not sure I’m strong enough to wait much longer without losing myself. I’m always trying my very best to stay positive, because I’m terrified of slipping back into the dark place I was before I found hope.
So I’m going to look to all of you to find it again. Friends, Family, friendly internet strangers... I have a goal of $10,000 to cover the minimum balance that my double mastectomy will cost and if you could help it would absolutely change my world. Even if you decide against sending some help, thanks for reading this. (Sharing it could help too) This is the very first time I feel, not only that one day I could fully love myself, but also that I just might deserve it.
Thank you so much in advance!!