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My fiance died five years ago. I could no longer afford the house we had lived in in central New York on my income alone.
While I grew up in the Chicago suburbs my family was originally from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and after my father died my mother returned to the small town she grew up in to retire. We have many (way too many) relatives in the area and a couple of my siblings had moved here as well. I knew well in advance that living in a small town would drive me insane but with limited resources I had no other viable options. So I put everything in a U-haul and drove with my two cats to a backwater town near the edge of Wisconsin. This town has a population of 3,000 people and only manages that because ten years ago three adjoining towns voted to merge together. This is an economically depressed former mining community. All the mines closed decades ago and they have even gone so far as to physically remove the rail road tracks because no train had come by here in over 40 years. In short there is no realistic hope of any new businesses moving into the area so everyone is broke and the town is literally falling apart due to the forces of nature and no one having the money to do even basic maintenance.
Slothgurl was living in an abusive relationship in a very run down home. The situation was causing both her mental and physical health to deteriorate rapidly and I could not stand by and watch. I called in many favors from family members to rescue her and bring her here. Not a great situation here, but a huge improvement from where she was. We do help take care of each other. She makes sure I don't go more than two days without eating. Also since I do not sleep she is my driver. Living here everything is an hour drive away and most days I would be at risk of falling asleep at the wheel if I had to drive that far alone.
My goal was always to get back to Minnesota where there are a couple of fringe communities I fit into. There are also a couple of groups there I helped start that are still running. If I can just get back there I can plug back into networks of friends who already understand me.
The longest running gaming group in Minnesota was started by me and five others in my sister's basement in 1982.
The longest continuously running gaming convention in Minnesota I was involved in organizing the first five years. 2020 will be its 28th year and 9 of the 13 original people (plus their children) make up the majority of the organizing council.
I was a charter member of the Science Museum of Minnesota. I spent so much time there, particularly in the paleontology area, that volunteers would point people with questions to me because I knew more about the exhibits than their training covered.
I was one of seven founders (actually of the first two) of the Minnesota Trans-fans, which is now the Midwest Trans-fans (to encompass members in surrounding states). Four of the original members are still active.
The AFOL (adult fans of Lego) group I belonged to is still strong and meeting at the same location.
When i lived in St. Paul I held monthly socials at the fire pits in Como Park. That group survives online and if I were there I could easily get it to resume in person socials.
This is a short list of why in the 40 years of my adult life I have lived in four states and Minnesota is the only place I ever felt was "home" and not just a temporary situation I was tolerating because of extenuating circumstances.
The plan had been to be here a couple years while I recovered from the death of my fiance, reorganized my life, and raised enough money to get a place in Minnesota. Instead of making progress that goal steadily slipped further away. Every house in this town needs repairs and that is how I have made my living for nearly 40 years. I have the skills and tools but no one here can afford to hire me for even 1/3 what I used to consider my base rate. I manage to bring in enough to get by each month but it is nearly impossible to save any money. During the summers I was able to get landscaping work. Working on the lake homes of people who live out of state and can afford to keep a house here that they use only a couple weeks each summer.
The entire time I've been here I eliminated virtually all luxury items and tried to save as much as I could. Over four years I managed to accumulate a moving fund of nearly $5,000 so I felt I was set to go as soon as I could find an apartment I could afford. Then the guy who owned the company I did the landscaping work for suddenly declared bankruptcy without any warning. First for his business, and then personal bankruptcy. In doing so I got screwed out of six months of back pay he owed me. So the money I have saved up I was forced to use to pay basic expenses putting me back to having virtually nothing in the bank.
I can continue to survive here indefinitely, but I can not LIVE in this town. To exist here without daily confrontations I need to hide large amounts of who I am. I am surrounded by people with mindsets that I find intolerable whenever I have a conversation of more than three sentences. I have had three mental health professionals each independently confirm that I do not have any form of clinical depression; my problem is just being too self aware of living in a mentally unhealthy environment. It is a matter of self preservation to isolate myself and drink excessively so I don't spend too much time thinking about my situation. Obviously the long term consequences of this strategy will be disastrous should I ever become resigned to the notion that I am stuck here just waiting to die.
I am grateful to my online friends and the community of YouTube Atheists. The online chats are my only opportunity for intelligent conversations. You people are the only way I have maintained my sanity this long.
The opportunity have finally presented itself for me to get back to Minnesota. I have found an apartment I can afford in St. Cloud, which is a mid side city that offers me very good earning potential as a freelance handyman. I will be able to cover my monthly expense and even gradually improve my standard of living with the skills I have. Simply having the prospect of getting out of here has already significantly improved my mood and just in the last month my drinking has dropped by half.
The problem is we now have no money to cover the expenses of moving and getting established in a larger city 350 miles away. I need to cover the cost of the moving van, fuel and insurance, damage deposit, getting all the utilities hooked up, and many other misc expenses involved in moving across three states. I estimate the total we need will be approximately $2,500. So I am asking for help from everyone in the online communities who has a bit to spare.
Slothgurl and I have a considerable number of prizes and thank you gifts that will be given out. The larges contributor will have first choice of items and working down form there. We will cover shipping for everything sent out within the USA but hope you understand that if we must ship to a foreign country we will have to ask you to help cover the additional shipping cost. Every one of the items that have been handmade by Slothgurl has won at least one award for her craftsmanship. I will be making a separate video to show off all of the items and describe each one. Additionally I will be doing an extremely limited run of tee shirt transfer and small items featuring a choice of my channel avatars as thank yous for those who can only afford small donations. We want you all to know we truly appreciate any help you can give us.
While I grew up in the Chicago suburbs my family was originally from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and after my father died my mother returned to the small town she grew up in to retire. We have many (way too many) relatives in the area and a couple of my siblings had moved here as well. I knew well in advance that living in a small town would drive me insane but with limited resources I had no other viable options. So I put everything in a U-haul and drove with my two cats to a backwater town near the edge of Wisconsin. This town has a population of 3,000 people and only manages that because ten years ago three adjoining towns voted to merge together. This is an economically depressed former mining community. All the mines closed decades ago and they have even gone so far as to physically remove the rail road tracks because no train had come by here in over 40 years. In short there is no realistic hope of any new businesses moving into the area so everyone is broke and the town is literally falling apart due to the forces of nature and no one having the money to do even basic maintenance.
Slothgurl was living in an abusive relationship in a very run down home. The situation was causing both her mental and physical health to deteriorate rapidly and I could not stand by and watch. I called in many favors from family members to rescue her and bring her here. Not a great situation here, but a huge improvement from where she was. We do help take care of each other. She makes sure I don't go more than two days without eating. Also since I do not sleep she is my driver. Living here everything is an hour drive away and most days I would be at risk of falling asleep at the wheel if I had to drive that far alone.
My goal was always to get back to Minnesota where there are a couple of fringe communities I fit into. There are also a couple of groups there I helped start that are still running. If I can just get back there I can plug back into networks of friends who already understand me.
The longest running gaming group in Minnesota was started by me and five others in my sister's basement in 1982.
The longest continuously running gaming convention in Minnesota I was involved in organizing the first five years. 2020 will be its 28th year and 9 of the 13 original people (plus their children) make up the majority of the organizing council.
I was a charter member of the Science Museum of Minnesota. I spent so much time there, particularly in the paleontology area, that volunteers would point people with questions to me because I knew more about the exhibits than their training covered.
I was one of seven founders (actually of the first two) of the Minnesota Trans-fans, which is now the Midwest Trans-fans (to encompass members in surrounding states). Four of the original members are still active.
The AFOL (adult fans of Lego) group I belonged to is still strong and meeting at the same location.
When i lived in St. Paul I held monthly socials at the fire pits in Como Park. That group survives online and if I were there I could easily get it to resume in person socials.
This is a short list of why in the 40 years of my adult life I have lived in four states and Minnesota is the only place I ever felt was "home" and not just a temporary situation I was tolerating because of extenuating circumstances.
The plan had been to be here a couple years while I recovered from the death of my fiance, reorganized my life, and raised enough money to get a place in Minnesota. Instead of making progress that goal steadily slipped further away. Every house in this town needs repairs and that is how I have made my living for nearly 40 years. I have the skills and tools but no one here can afford to hire me for even 1/3 what I used to consider my base rate. I manage to bring in enough to get by each month but it is nearly impossible to save any money. During the summers I was able to get landscaping work. Working on the lake homes of people who live out of state and can afford to keep a house here that they use only a couple weeks each summer.
The entire time I've been here I eliminated virtually all luxury items and tried to save as much as I could. Over four years I managed to accumulate a moving fund of nearly $5,000 so I felt I was set to go as soon as I could find an apartment I could afford. Then the guy who owned the company I did the landscaping work for suddenly declared bankruptcy without any warning. First for his business, and then personal bankruptcy. In doing so I got screwed out of six months of back pay he owed me. So the money I have saved up I was forced to use to pay basic expenses putting me back to having virtually nothing in the bank.
I can continue to survive here indefinitely, but I can not LIVE in this town. To exist here without daily confrontations I need to hide large amounts of who I am. I am surrounded by people with mindsets that I find intolerable whenever I have a conversation of more than three sentences. I have had three mental health professionals each independently confirm that I do not have any form of clinical depression; my problem is just being too self aware of living in a mentally unhealthy environment. It is a matter of self preservation to isolate myself and drink excessively so I don't spend too much time thinking about my situation. Obviously the long term consequences of this strategy will be disastrous should I ever become resigned to the notion that I am stuck here just waiting to die.
I am grateful to my online friends and the community of YouTube Atheists. The online chats are my only opportunity for intelligent conversations. You people are the only way I have maintained my sanity this long.
The opportunity have finally presented itself for me to get back to Minnesota. I have found an apartment I can afford in St. Cloud, which is a mid side city that offers me very good earning potential as a freelance handyman. I will be able to cover my monthly expense and even gradually improve my standard of living with the skills I have. Simply having the prospect of getting out of here has already significantly improved my mood and just in the last month my drinking has dropped by half.
The problem is we now have no money to cover the expenses of moving and getting established in a larger city 350 miles away. I need to cover the cost of the moving van, fuel and insurance, damage deposit, getting all the utilities hooked up, and many other misc expenses involved in moving across three states. I estimate the total we need will be approximately $2,500. So I am asking for help from everyone in the online communities who has a bit to spare.
Slothgurl and I have a considerable number of prizes and thank you gifts that will be given out. The larges contributor will have first choice of items and working down form there. We will cover shipping for everything sent out within the USA but hope you understand that if we must ship to a foreign country we will have to ask you to help cover the additional shipping cost. Every one of the items that have been handmade by Slothgurl has won at least one award for her craftsmanship. I will be making a separate video to show off all of the items and describe each one. Additionally I will be doing an extremely limited run of tee shirt transfer and small items featuring a choice of my channel avatars as thank yous for those who can only afford small donations. We want you all to know we truly appreciate any help you can give us.
Organizer
Purple Orange
Organizer
Iron River, MI
