Reuniting With My Long Lost Twin After 25 years

THE SEPARATION

In 1997, my birth father died during a tragic accident, leaving my birth mother financially incapable of raising all her children and leading her to the devastating decision to place me in an orphanage, separating me from our family, including my twin, Minh PhúÓng. I was then adopted by my adoptive mother who was denied to adopt in the US because of her age. Being raised in Ohio alongside my adopted brother from Brazil, growing up was nothing short of turbulent as we had to navigate a completely different culture while never really addressing or healing the trauma that inevitably exists when separated from our mothers and families. And I don’t think at the time we understood how much that would affect the course of our lives.

THE SEARCH

It wasn’t until my twenties that I ever considered searching for my birth family. The idea of my twin sister existing had only ever been a rumored myth from the coordinators at my adoption agency. Most of the time I just thought it was a fabricated detail to pull at potential adopters’ heartstrings. But after a youth filled with feeling out of place and always frustrated that I could never build and exude any confidence in myself, I began to wonder if finding my birth family would help me piece together my lost and broken identity. In 2017 I began sharing adoption documents depicting my birth family’s details including my father’s certificate of death, and video footage I have of my time at the orphanage. I even sent off my DNA to a family matching platform but never got any strong leads or results.

This past March, after 25 years apart and with the aid of an online Facebook group called Subtle Viet Traits, we finally located my twin sister and my mother. I later learned that I was given up for adoption first because Minh PhúÓng had health issues and our mother felt I would be more capable of surviving the separation. Later my sister was also placed in an orphanage where she remained for a year until my mother returned and was able to regain custody of her. I also discovered I have 4 other half-siblings, but that one of them was killed during a traffic accident at a young age.

This only begins to skim the surface of my newly discovered origin story and I am still learning and unpacking new things every day. My sister and I have been talking almost every day using a translating app that we then copy and paste into Facebook Messenger. We even had our very first video call with the help of a volunteer translator. The next steps in this journey are raising money to cover the travel expenses to make the 8,600-mile journey home to reunite with them in Vietnam, and finally getting to see the land and culture I come from.

In the wake of a nationwide pandemic that inspired me to move back in with my adoptive mother in 2020, who is now 74, to ensure I could help take care of my family during quarantine and assume any caretaking tasks necessary, I have since remained with them amidst 3 of my Uncles battling cancer and my mother also facing health obstacles. More recently, I have been unemployed since November of 2022 which, even though that has caused a lot of financial and mental distress, has allowed me the time to help care for my family while battling these health obstacles and recovering from multiple surgeries. I feel grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to help my adoptive family in the ways I can, but it has been extremely hard while simultaneously battling chronic depression and anxiety after a lifelong loss of identity.

THE REUNION

My most immediate goal is to travel to Vietnam from August 7th-August 31st, which should give me plenty of time to reunite with my sister and the rest of my family. The money we raise will be used to cover travel, lodging, and food expenses for myself and my sister while we work our way from North Vietnam, where our father’s grave is located, to Da Nang where my orphanage is located down to Dak Lak, where my mother resides and where we were born, and finally to Bien Hoa where my sister currently resides and works. I believe this budget will cover most expenses while ensuring my sister is not worrying about her finances as she takes off this extended time from her job to reunite with me and show me our homeland.

Your donations will also pay for a plane ticket and other travel expenses for my sister to come to the United States in November 2023 to meet my adoptive family and explore the country where I was brought up.

THE PROMISE

Lastly, if we astronomically exceed the minimum goal I have set, any surplus can be used to ultimately cultivate projects to create safe and nourishing spaces for everyone who is touched and affected by adoption and foster care. These are billion-dollar industries that alter lives, and I feel it is my life’s mission to shed light on and help educate people about the multifaceted layers of adoption and how we can work towards restructuring these systems that do not always succeed in protecting adoptees and foster children. This new chapter of my life is motivating me to use and share my story to inspire other adoptees who suffer the lifelong effects of being separated from their families and cultures, to continue searching for the missing pieces of their identity. And to encourage and educate everyone to cultivate space for our stories so we can create better and safer futures for adoptees and foster children. Moving into the future I will continue to offer education and community that will facilitate this kind of change, so it would be amazing to have some support to get my ideas in motion.

THE TIMELINE

Today is May 1st, the beginning of AAPI(Asian American Pacific Islander) Heritage Month. From today to the end of July, I will fundraise in hopes to meet my goal of $10,000. I know with all of your support, whether it’s donating a small amount or sharing my campaign on your social media, we can easily achieve this goal. I realize how much of an investment of your time and money this is, and I want you to know that I am deeply touched by everyone who has shown me support throughout this journey. You all are the reason I have kept going, even in times when I was ready to completely give up on this life.

With my birth mother struggling with health complications after having Covid and my adoptive family continuing to battle cancer and other health obstacles, it is so important to me that I can reunite with my birth family, and then bring my sister back to the States so she can spend time with my adoptive family by the end of this year. I know that with your continued support, I will be able to reunite with my sister and birth my family in August, and I cannot wait to take you along on this journey with me and show you the beautiful country I came from as I travel through Vietnam reconnecting to my roots. The story of me and my sister is so much bigger than us. In helping me to achieve my goal you will also be helping nurture a movement that can drastically change how we view adoption and foster care, and how we take immediate action to keep children safe.

Thank you for all of your endless love and support,

Isla Vu(Dai Trang)