Fariba's Twins Attorney Fee

Please read updates below the story, thanks.

Fariba was a young healthy mother of 2 twin boys she had no medical problems other than she was a victim of violence and was mistaken identity and had acid thrown on her causing 3rd degree burns on half of her body. After enduring several plastic surgeries and skin grafts, she had been dealing with PTSD since then.

I met Fariba about 8 1/2 years ago, we got engaged 3 years ago. I met her boys when they were 4 years old and have been a father figure in their lives since that time. We were for all purpose married and family unit. In the eight years we were together we spent less than 2 weeks in LA with her family and when we did there was always arguing and stress. I also want to point out thru the eight years the family did not bothered to come out and spend any time with the boys or Fariba except they did come out when I asked Fariba to invite her family to our yearly BBQ at the house.

The boys like to be with their grandmother but only for a limited amout of time. The grandmother is in her 70's, in fact she cannot speak any English nor does she drive. She has had either her sons or daughter stay with her from time to time not lasted a long time due to the discourse in the family.

Here is a time line since March 2018 on what had transpired

March
Fariba came down with a viral infection and she was treated but was not getting. The doctors then treated for her for pneumonia, Fariba was sent home but she got worse so I took her to the hospital. Next, she was treated and released again she still did not get any better so I took her back to the hospital then admitted for 5 Days.

While in the hospital I managed with the boys with family help. Fariba's sister Farah also stayed with the boys. The boys had a difficult time staying with Farah as she would not respect their normal routine for the day and had them doing chores, telling them their mother does not know how to do anything right and at one time made Tyler go back into the wash to turn socks inside out as to make sure they would get clean. Whenever I would mention Auntie Farah they would state that they did not want to stay with her again as she disrespected their mother and myself. Farah stated to the boys that I was not “Step Dad” I was only a friend this statement truly hurt the boys considerably, stating I been with them the longest.

I enlisted the help of my parents who live in Escondido, Ca., they came up to stayed with the boys thru-out the period I was going back and forth to the hospital and to work. The boys immediately became very comfortable with my parents, loving their company. The boys felt safe, therefore, able to discuss what was bothering them esp. with Fariba’s side of the family and their issues. The boys were always stressed out when I told them for the sake of the family they were to spend time with their grandmother and auntie for a few days they both always stated " don't leave me there "

Fariba came home after 5 days from the hospital with oxygen and home health to care for her. Every day I would make sure my family (the boys and Fariba) had breakfast, made the boys lunch then drove them to school. I would go to work until lunch time, when I would go back home to make Fariba's lunch and check on her. Then I would return to work until it was time to pick the boys up from school. Our normal evening routine, would be to prepare dinner, complete homework and the boys would get ready for bed. Unfortunately, Fariba health began to decline again so I took her back to Temecula Hospital where she was admitted until she was transferred to UCI which was 1.5 hrs from home. During this time, I noticed that they boys were more stressed over their mothers condition and they began to get scared. I tried to make their daily routine the same as to ensure their grades and the school environment was consistent. All the boys kept fearing was going to LA and having to listen to their uncle demanding them to play sports and other activities they did not want to do at that time. While Fariba's stay at UCI the family did not offer to come to the house just be with the boys. While she was at UCI, I spent 2-3 days at her bed side and spending the night at the hospital in her room, as my parents stepped up to help care for the boys. When the family did visit with Fariba in the hoapital, they always challenged the doctors or nurses calling them incompetent or demanding way off the wall testing. I tried several times at different occasions to bring the family together as Fariba did not need discourse. This was met with some agreement but overall, I was battling the family in the same way Fariba had done all her life they are always butting in her business and always needing to control each other. As the weeks passed Fariba's extended stay at UCI, it became very evident that Fariba was not going to make it thru the illness and I needed to start preparing the boys just in case. There were several incidents when the family fighting among themselves was brought to the hospital. Even Farah at one time stated loudly in the lobby of the hospital that " IT WAS MY FAULT" Fariba’s is sick and not getting better.
This was very hurtful as I was spending my time with work, protecting the well being of the boys and keeping a near normal routine for the boys and spending 48-72 hrs. at Fariba’s bedside, plus trying to calm the family. For Farah to say that was the last straw. I too like Fariba did not want to talk to Farah and told her to keep her distance and since it was an inconvenience to drive 30 min and she could not stay the night with Fariba to give me a break, I enlisted her true friends support to come to UCI and spend the night/day with her in which they did and they were happy to do so as well they witnesses the family discourse. thru out this time. I could not have made it thru without the support I received from her circle of friends and my family I did not get any problems, fighting or judgments from anyone just her side of the family, which totally drained me daily. During Fariba's sickness I enlisted the boys thoughts about if they wanted to visit with their mother and they declined as they stated they wanted to remember her as when she was talking and not with the machines, they stated it was too scary and did not want to remember her that way. I advised them at any time if they want it to visit, to tell me and I will be there with them and help them thru the visit. The family wanted to force the boys to see their mother no matter what and one of Bruce's comments was what is wrong with these boys why don't they like their mother? The boys felt that Bruce was a bully and did not allow them to have a voice in what they wanted. Bruce stated “what I say goes and you have no right to make a decision until your 18 “. I advised Bruce this is not the time and the four of us will discuss this later. These are the relatives that did not take any time in the past 8 years, to come to see them or spend any time with them nor take them to any outings or have bonding time. I can recall maybe less than 10 times in 8 years we went to LA and spent any time with her family.

Fariba was eventually transferred to USC was was about 2.5 hrs. from Temecula not getting better therefore placed on the lung bypass machine. As expected the family became more intense and the stress level increased. I took this time to talk to the older brother (Bruce) and start to prepare him for what is the next stages for Fariba. During this time I felt that we actually bonded. Bruce stated on several occasions that the boys are in great hands with me, as their father figure. Bruce also said to forget what his sister says, he could see that I cared for boys and loved them. We were a united front to ensure that the biological father was not going to be able to step in and take the boys as he did not want the boys taken away from their environment. We also talked several evenings at his house and I felt we bonded in a way that he understood the best decisions for the boys. He also agreed his sister had mental issues and she needed to stay out of the picture. During this time, I was able to get to know Fariba's other brother, Ben. Ben is like myself I had long talks with him and he stated he too had moved away from the family dysfunction and anger. At that time Ben was at odds with his older brother Bruce due to a deep family strife. Ben is very calm he has 2 children and the boys liked going to visit him as his home atmosphere was like what the boys wanted they do not like the arguing and fighting. Ben expressed he too agreed that the best interest for the boys is to continue in their environment and not be subjected to the LA discourse and family infighting. So going forward with the exception of Farah and Bruce who seemed to be the leader of the family and Ben and myself were all on the same page what's best for the boys and that this was Fariba’s wishes. As the days progressed it appeared that Fariba was terminal at this point and one of the last discussions I had with her is that she did not want to be kept alive in machines if that there was no hope of her recovering. According to Bruce I was informed that the family beliefs was not to take any machines from her care and that she had to stay on the machines until she dies. I went against her wishes on this as I had to respect the family wishes however I had to signed a DNR as not to have her suffer CPR. I had started seeking a grief counselor (Ruth) to start getting the boys ready for the next journey of their lives. I had asked the family/couples psychologist if she too could see the boys sine it was one of her specialty dealing with grieving children and victim violence plus she previously counseled Fariba's and myself, it appeared to be the perfect match. The counselor had a few sessions with the boys, they did open up to her and was beginning the process. Fariba’s family felt that any counselor that was not in LA was not capable of treating the boys just like with Fariba's treatment no one was good enough other that doctors in LA.

As Fariba's tme was nearing, in the final week the hospital decided not to do any further treatment due to the family's unwillingness to take her off life support. Fariba passed 4 days later. Fariba's passing was a tragic time for me and the boys I was the one who had to inform them of her passing. It appeared that the family did not want to tell them. Myself and the boys are so close we were able to talk and cry together each night and they kept assuring me " it's ok its just us three as a team and we will make it thru this" " Just like the three musketeers" the boys made my heart stronger. I was able to take them to a few more sessions with Ruth and they were doing good the only thing that they were concerned with is that they were going to be forced to live in LA and not be able to be with me they kept repeating the same issues over and over and continued to stress to Ruth that they did not want to end up with Auntie Farah or Uncle Bruce. The only person they wanted to visit was Ben and his son Kolby as they recognized that he does not have a dysfunctional family environment The family now thinks they boys was being brainwashed but in fact it was their attitude and poor treatment towards the boys that made them make up their own minds. The boys had listen to the past fighting with their mother and witnessed the infighting when they would visit LA. Also to point out none of Fariba's family ever made any attempt to come out to see the boys or spend any quality time with them all they did when they did visit with them a few times a year was to throw money at them hoping to buy their love.

The seven days following Fariba's passing I spent time with the boys, I had planned not to work that week as it was custom in Jewish religion not to work or socialize during this time in order keep with the boy’s custom I did followed the same customs. I again asked if they wanted to go to the to the grave site and they stated that they were not ready and that maybe we can go later just the three of us. I agreed that whatever they wanted to do was ok. So, I attended the 7th day prayer with the family then went to the mothers for lunch and spent a few hrs. with the family were I was even told by Fariba’s aunt who stated that the boys belonged with me and that Temecula and the home life I provided for them was what they needed. My heart went out to Fariba's mother as I can’t imagine how painful it can be to lose a child. I told the family that during the rest of the summer and while the boys were out of school I would attempt to have the boys spend time with their grandmother as I saw how happy it made her to see them. Although again, she did not speak any English and has no way to communicate with them on a personal level I wanted to help her with the grieving process. The boys had promised Uncle Ben that they would attend his son's birthday party and they wanted to go. At this time there were no tension with the family and it appeared that we were going to be able to be family unit as everyone has assured me that this was the best thing for the boys. I had only stated this was not for me or my ego the goal what the boys wanted and what was best them. I have been in their lives the past 8 years day to day I know their thoughts and feelings, they can open up and talk to me about anything and not clam up. Unlike their behavior while with their Aunt Farah or Uncle Bruce. Farah called to talk to the boys on Tuesday 7/31/18 in the usual fashion the boys were not that excited to talk to her and just passively talked, they again expressed that they were having a great time at Grandma Nellie and Grandpa Wayne's house it must have rubbed Farah the wrong way. Farah had guilt on how the boys had so much love for friends and not her or the family in LA. Later, that night Bruce called and stated that he was changing the decision and that my old dad and stepmother were incapable of taking care of the boys. The conservation went down the wrong path at which was the custom of Bruce when he loses his temper. I kept stating what is the best interest of the boys and he did not want to hear it and I stated that I will have no choice to protect the boys and call "CPS" which he thought I was stating COPS at that time he went off on a tangent and I just simply hung up the phone he then texted me to have the boys ready to be picked up on Friday 8/3/18. I then called to talk to the rabbi from Temecula and explained that Bruce was going to come and snatch up the boys and they were already traumatized that night they kept crying and could not sleep at all. The next day or two the boys began to have depression and withdrew kept stating they did not want our family to be broken up I asked Bruce to call the boys and he ignored the request. I later got a call from the rabbi who stated that he did talked to Bruce and Farah and he assured me that they realized that it was not in their best interest to traumatize the boys and they agreed not to pick them up. I had a few talks with Ben and he even at this time kept stating don't worry he will talk to Bruce and Farah to make sure they are going to make the right decision. He has asked if I was going to bring the boys to his house and for a few days so that they can spend time with their grandmother as she was in such a depression and having crying spells I agreed that the boys woud go to their Uncle Ben’s on Sunday and it would be good that they stay with their grandmother a few days, though tugging at my heartstrings. I stated that I would pick the boys Ben agreed. I agreed to meet Ben half way and I would bring the boys. He did not ever indicate at that time that the boys would not return. During that week I had set up the boys iPads for facetime and taught them how to use it any time they wanted to talk. We began to talk on Mon, Tues, Wed 2 to 3 times a day. On Thursday when the boys finally made it to their grandmother's which was 5 days later they didn't even go to grandmother's prior in the week. The boys were getting ready for bed they were facetiming me and out of the blue Farah snatched the iPads from the boys and said I was brainwashing them, which we were only talking about making sure they brushed their teeth, wash their face and did their nightly journaling, all I heard was the boys beginning to scream and start crying. I then spoke with Bruce and Ben, they both advised that they were going to stand behind their mother's decision and that they boys are not coming back to Temecula and that I was not allowed to talk to them anymore. How can they do this to the boys first they lose their mother now they have also lost the only father figure they know, plus their home school friends. All for some tribal attitude and through all of this hurting their own nephews to try to mend the strife with in the family? I was told that it was due to I'm not Jewish and that Fariba’s was bipolar and made bad decisions in her life is why they feel that they now must correct her decisions. Now I’m thinking I know lots of secrets of the family more than they know and I have to say you don't cast stones onto a glass house especially if you have cracked glass house yourself just like Farah and Bruce.

I called the Rabbi in Temecula it seems that he was the only one who could attempt to calm the family and make them realize again this is not what Fariba wanted nor the boys wishes. He introduced me to Dr. Brenner a well-respected Psychologist and asked me to meet with him to discuss what he could do. I called Dr. Brenner to made an appt the next day. I spent about an hour and half telling him our story and the dynamics of the family, he advised he will try to pull the family in to see if there could be some type of solution to this crisis. A few days went by I was trying to call the boy's iPad with no answer I texted Bruce and Ben to talk to the boys and the request went on deaf ears. Fariba's family kept stating they have lost a sister and a child, they simply forgot I also lost someone who I loved dearly and I felt was my wife now also losing my children I love. I am in our house with the daily reminders of what once was, I feel they have swept me away just like they do to each other all of their lives. Now they are subjecting the boys to this same terrible way of thinking. I taught the boys that family is most important. I then got a text on Wednesday morning from Dr. Brenner stating he has made such great progress and wanted to know if I can come to the office that day and it would be great if i asked the rabbi from Temecula to also attend the meeting. I advised I would have to check my work schedule, in a few minutes I was able to clear day, then made arrangements to pick up the Rabbi. We arrived at Dr. Brenner's office with so much anticipation thinking that the family had made the right decision and would no longer be putting the boys through more grief and stress. Dr. Brenner informed me that they agreed to allow me to raise the boys and be a father figure ......... as long as I move to LA !!!!!!!!!! I can say after all of these years I now experienced what Fariba was complaining about, Farah and Bruce trying to control her, making rude comments like about her weight from Bruce, he has no room to talk. This just took the cake, trying to control me, making a demand like that was a slap in my face knowing that I would never agree to moving to LA. That was the foundation of the problem it's like you can't fight city hall mentality I would never be allowed to rest with Bruce and Farah always butting in were they have no right. Absolutely not I advised Dr. Brenner, he was taken back like why did you not kiss my ring... I just brokered a deal of a lifetime!!! I even went as far to state not for a hundred million dollars would I cow down to this family. I told him I would have to rely on the court system and take the chance of alienating the family for life. Because even if I win I still lose again, due the family constantly harassing me while I parent the boys. I’m in this fight for custody the boys and to fulfill Fariba’s wishes that the children remain with me in Temecula and the boys having voice in their wishes also.


As of 8/30/18 Dr. Brenner states he termed discussions because he would fire them as clients if the don't allow open discussions, Farah and Bruce decided to end the therapy sessions. Also the Rabbi has ended discussions with Farah and Bruce because there are not adhering to the boys best interest.

Fariba was a loving, giving, amazing, live out loud, mother, friend and companion. I always said she was the kindness and strongest person I ever meet. Fariba did not allow her burn injury at 14 years old to dull her love for life and gaining/maintaining so many loving relationships with people who truly adored her in every way. Fariba's greatest love and accomplishment is her twin boys, who she pored her strength, love and her soul into every day she lived. Now, the twins need to stay with the only father they have know for 8 years, he will need an attorney who will fight to keep them in the only home they have known with Mark. Please donate for attorney fees, so Fariba's wishes will come to pass to keep the twins in there home.

9/7/18: Temecula Superior Court,  Guardianship Hearing, thanks to 14 supporters who came to court today, may God bless you. In court Farah did not attend but used a telephone conference line. Farah slyly sent written objections the morning of court, filed in LA without giving proper knowledge to Mark's attorney. The attorney and judges could see the deception in her act, therefore the judge appointed an attorney specifically for the twins. The judge was not impressed with Farah's inability to answer straight questions. The next hearing in LA on October 6th will be to determine if the guardianship proceedings will be in LA or Temecula. Our heart felt thanks for all of your support.