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Debi and Emmett's Adoption Fundraiser

$3,505 of $10,000 goal

Raised by 40 people in 3 months
Created December 22, 2018
Did you ever want something so much you could taste it?  Sometimes our yearning, or maybe our fear of not getting it pushes that which you desire in the opposite direction. The desire begins to tear us apart so we give up.  That’s what Debi and Emmett did — after 16 years of trying for a baby, they gave up.  Strangely enough, the moment they let go there was room for Love’s Magic to sneak in while their daughter-to-be to slipped in on a ray of sunshine.  Their story follows.  Won’t you help them hold the light?

Thank you and happy holidays!  
Pam


                 Debi and Emmett Sloan’s Adoption Journey

Imagine that for over 16 years you tried everything in your power to have a baby and it never happened. Imagine being poked and prodded on a regular basis, year after year, with no results to show for it.  Having the mettle to slap down an $18,000 bet each time you tried in vitro fertilization (IVF) – and still never winning.  Now image that during all this your marriage flat-lined and came back, your finances stretched beyond your means, more than once, and all the while you had to keep your wits about you in case you actually did get pregnant.  

Month after month, year after year, a few false hopes, fostering, but we kept going, kept hoping.  We had talked about adoption before we were ever married, we just thought it would be in addition to our biological children.  I often thought about adopting a little girl from China, but ten years ago when we first looked into it, Chinese adoptions were taking seven years.  I was positive there was no way I could wait that long!  Since Emmett is Irish, we looked into an Irish adoption but that was not an option either.  We also found out that an adoption would cost us over $40,000, something we weren’t ready to finance at the time.

During all those years we watched our friends having kids and our nieces and nephews grow up and some head off to college.  And every Christmas, we would look at each other while other people celebrated with their children and say, “Next Christmas, it will be our turn.”  

Then, a few years ago we found out that through a special needs adoption we could be matched within a year, so we discussed it and decided to adopt a little girl with minor medical or correctable special needs.  But things didn’t quite work out because we lost our first match and then China changed its adoption guidelines.  Two years later, for the sake of our sanity, we knew we finally had to put an end date on our journey — December 31, 2018.  Then, at the end of this summer, we received a call saying that our chances of being matched did not increase the longer we waited.  That was it.  We gave up.  Forget the $20,000 we had already invested, we were done, we were exhausted.  

But we needed something good to happen, so we decided to take the money we had been saving for something that we thought was never going happen and make something good happen.  In October, we celebrated our 20th anniversary by taking a vacation.  You can probably guess the rest of the story.  We got home at midnight on a Sunday and less than 36 hours later, Tuesday morning, we got a call – The Call.  I didn’t even answer the phone.  I let the answering machine pick it up while the agency left us the most glorious and terrifying message I’ve ever received.  

When I called Emmett, he was as shocked as I was.  "What were we going to do?   Why now?  Why didn’t this happen before we’d taken our vacation?"  

“Don’t worry,” I said, "We still have the $10,000 in grant money to help us, and after all these years, we can’t let a thing like money stop us.  The universe isn’t going to mess with us again.  Not now.  Not after all this.”  

Except it was.  The day before Thanksgiving we were told that we no longer qualified for the grant.  They changed the criteria, something we didn’t even know could happen.  And that night I got into my first car accident.  Okay, more of a fender bender, but seriously?  COME ON!!!

Sixteen years is a long time to wait for a child, but she’s here, and in our hearts, we know this little girl is already ours.  We were prepared and between our savings and the grant, we had the final expenses covered: the last half of adoption costs + potential initial medical expenses + some bonding time leave (which is unpaid for adoptions).  But now, here we are, standing on the brink of fulfilling our most heartfelt desire without all the financial means to make it happen.  

So, we are humbly asking for help from our friends and family to bring home our daughter.  We’ve included her picture, so you can see she is as real as she is in our hearts.  After sixteen years, she’s finally here.  Can you please help us cross the finish line?  If so, you will be part of the catalyst that brings together our family.

Thank you for your love and support,

Emmett, Debi and MX Sloan
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We would like to introduce you to Kyra Ming Xiao Sloan! Before we left I didn't want to say exactly when we were going to be out of town since my mother so graciously stayed at our house to watch our dogs. But we left for China on 2/14 (Valentine's Day) and returned this past weekend on 3/2. Our official "Gotcha Day" (adoption day) was 2/19/19 and it went very well. Kyra did not take long to warm up to us and over the following two weeks of changes and traveling (Shanghai to Nanjing to Guangzhou to Hong Kong to the US) she has adjusted and handled everything better than we could have hoped. She is a sweetheart and her true nature is just a happy little girl. And she LOVES to play with other kids so we can't wait to get her out and about. But both Kyra and I came home sick from China, which is why this final post is so late. So once we are better we will work on getting into a solid routine at home and getting out and about to meet people.

We cannot THANK YOU all enough for the love and support you have given us! It is beyond words how happy we are and excited to finally be a family. The journey to get here was worth every step and we can't wait for what comes next.

With Love and Gratitude,
Emmett and Debi
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I just realized that you can't see some of the details in the photos so I am including a few more!
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The clock is winding down and we will be leaving SOON! How I want to share more details but social media savvy says - no, wait. I feel like we will never get done but at least this slice of heaven is finally complete - it's just missing our little angel. As promised, there is an panda or 3 (trust me, there are more, check out the dresser knobs...) and owls (look closely in the trees).
Here is a sneak peak, I am only able to upload 3 photos per post so I will share the rest once her room is 'complete'.

We are forever grateful for all of the love and support. And without this help we really would have been in a much tougher situation. We cannot say it enough, Thank you.
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Unfortunately, I have no updates or photos from the orphanage. But last week we received our Travel Approval (TA Letter is a BIG deal in the adoption world) and on Monday we received our official travel dates! So on this dreary rainy day we are on our way to NY to apply for our China Visas (insert soggy happy dance).

But to say I am overwhelmed at all of the outstanding things we still have to get gone over a matter of weeks before leaving for China to get our daughter would be putting it mildly. 16 years of waiting in stand-by mode and then 0 to 60! Still don't quite believe it yet.

This was on the back of the seat and my view for the trip. So thanks to whoever did this to make me remember to smile and remind me what all of this is for. And thanks again for all of you and letting us know we are not in this alone.
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$3,505 of $10,000 goal

Raised by 40 people in 3 months
Created December 22, 2018
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