The Next Step
Spende geschützt
I put together this fundraiser as practice in asking for help, as it is something we artists must learn how to do. I need help in buying a camera and lighting equipment, as I am taking the leap to focus on photography. In the new year I will be going on a trip to New Mexico, to get out of my comfort zone (as it usually brings out the best in me) and to apply my documentary approach to themes that I fell drawn to such as sociology, spirituality, queerness, underground communities and alternative ways of living, magic, how to exist today in America and in the world at large.
In August 2010, I came to Los Angeles for the first time on my own, led by the will to make a living in this country for reasons that were overall fairly unclear to me then, and are only a little bit clearer to me now. We gain wisdom growing older, but life also gets increasingly more complicated, so it doesn’t always feel like it’s balancing out.
I came to LA from France, for a month, to test out the waters. On day 1 I found a room to rent in an old crafstman house in Hollywood, two blocks away from the Hall of Fame, owned by a quiet and respectful union key grip who mostly worked on commercials. On day 2 I started an internship at a cool hipster production company in Silverlake that had a mural of an old school bandit on the wall. On day 15, my mind was set - this was the place where I was going to move and make a life for myself after graduating film school as a cinematographer. And so that’s what I did.
It was the beginning of my adult life, and the last 7+ years have been unfolding into many chapters. I got into a career as a camera assistant in the film industry, I got into a marriage, later I moved on to the hospitality industry and a divorce. I got into trouble and I got into the best adventures of my life. I don’t regret any of it, but some of it was really tough and I hope that I never have to go through that much pain again (but am aware that I probably will). Every mistake has burned so much that I have been forced to work really hard at learning from them. Thankfully, LA is a place where healing is made easy - where everyone who moves here all the way from home shares the same kind of fucked-up as you, and where being truly and fully your most honest self is embraced like nowhere else on the planet. I’m pretty sure that’s what I intuited when something physically pinned me to this place, on the Broadway bridge above the concrete bed of the LA river, on a mid-August twilight afternoon. When I felt the full force of being called somewhere, when goals, even though huge, seemed so attainable - because I was being led.
Seven years of LA will grind you down, though.
(breathe - be with this - be grateful - trust)
The phantom thread lining everything I have worked on and through since moving here, is the process of me connecting to my creativity and becoming an artist. In the last couple years especially, I have worked hard at developing a photography practice conjointly with the demands of sustaining myself in an expensive city like LA. I have found ways to carve out the time and energy needed to conduct personal projects and answer to creative opportunities, while keeping a demanding day job as a server. I photographed a monthly local underground queer party for over a year (still current), made a giant collage that was hung in a hair salon in West Hollywood for a while, had a solo show with a photography series, sold some prints to generous patrons and friends, supported my artists friends by photographing their shows and performances, brought my 35mm camera everywhere with me and scanned meters and meters of film to explore the nature of my relationship to LA, California, the US. I am proud of what I have accomplished, and I am so grateful for the support of an ever flowing community of queer creatives coming down from all branches of life. But I have stretched my resources thin. I am running out of fuel and spirit to keep doing this on the side of my day job. It is time for me to devote myself fully to my art, and for this, I need help.
I have managed to save $6000 over the last couple years while funding my own projects, and I am trying to raise that same amount of money to gear up, so that I can devote the money I already have to sustain myself for a few months while I find ways to make a living doing what I feel so strongly called to do. I need a new camera, and the one I want is perfectly suited to the needs of my reportage approach to photography. I rented and tested it in conditions that keep coming back throughout my work (mainly low lighting and documentary style), and it has served me beautifully. I also need travel-size gear to record sound and to light up a simple portrait set-up.
Camera Package
Lens Filter
Light
Sound Recorderhttps://www.samys.com/s/h1n
My goal in the new year is to travel to New Mexico for at least a couple months, in search for deeper truths about myself, the bond between spirituality and creativity, the 'American spirit', current social realities of this country and how they intersect with ancient cultures that precede colonization - and to somehow translate this search into photography and writing through blog, articles, reportage, and a lot that I know I can't envision yet until it happens. I remember that feeling of moving to LA and being completely open to life and opportunities, with endless energy and relentless motivation. I am putting myself in that position again, this time in a new state, with more experience and awareness, a little more funds, and an actual body of work that hopefully speaks for itself.
Any donation you decide to make will be put to good use towards me taking my photography career to the next level. If you would like to support my work and my efforts to commit to it by buying a print from me, please get in touch. My website and Instagram account are good places to get a feel of what I am about and what I can do. I can't wait to stretch the limits of that, thanks to your help.
I truly appreciate you taking the time to read me until the end.
In August 2010, I came to Los Angeles for the first time on my own, led by the will to make a living in this country for reasons that were overall fairly unclear to me then, and are only a little bit clearer to me now. We gain wisdom growing older, but life also gets increasingly more complicated, so it doesn’t always feel like it’s balancing out.
I came to LA from France, for a month, to test out the waters. On day 1 I found a room to rent in an old crafstman house in Hollywood, two blocks away from the Hall of Fame, owned by a quiet and respectful union key grip who mostly worked on commercials. On day 2 I started an internship at a cool hipster production company in Silverlake that had a mural of an old school bandit on the wall. On day 15, my mind was set - this was the place where I was going to move and make a life for myself after graduating film school as a cinematographer. And so that’s what I did.
It was the beginning of my adult life, and the last 7+ years have been unfolding into many chapters. I got into a career as a camera assistant in the film industry, I got into a marriage, later I moved on to the hospitality industry and a divorce. I got into trouble and I got into the best adventures of my life. I don’t regret any of it, but some of it was really tough and I hope that I never have to go through that much pain again (but am aware that I probably will). Every mistake has burned so much that I have been forced to work really hard at learning from them. Thankfully, LA is a place where healing is made easy - where everyone who moves here all the way from home shares the same kind of fucked-up as you, and where being truly and fully your most honest self is embraced like nowhere else on the planet. I’m pretty sure that’s what I intuited when something physically pinned me to this place, on the Broadway bridge above the concrete bed of the LA river, on a mid-August twilight afternoon. When I felt the full force of being called somewhere, when goals, even though huge, seemed so attainable - because I was being led.
Seven years of LA will grind you down, though.
(breathe - be with this - be grateful - trust)
The phantom thread lining everything I have worked on and through since moving here, is the process of me connecting to my creativity and becoming an artist. In the last couple years especially, I have worked hard at developing a photography practice conjointly with the demands of sustaining myself in an expensive city like LA. I have found ways to carve out the time and energy needed to conduct personal projects and answer to creative opportunities, while keeping a demanding day job as a server. I photographed a monthly local underground queer party for over a year (still current), made a giant collage that was hung in a hair salon in West Hollywood for a while, had a solo show with a photography series, sold some prints to generous patrons and friends, supported my artists friends by photographing their shows and performances, brought my 35mm camera everywhere with me and scanned meters and meters of film to explore the nature of my relationship to LA, California, the US. I am proud of what I have accomplished, and I am so grateful for the support of an ever flowing community of queer creatives coming down from all branches of life. But I have stretched my resources thin. I am running out of fuel and spirit to keep doing this on the side of my day job. It is time for me to devote myself fully to my art, and for this, I need help.
I have managed to save $6000 over the last couple years while funding my own projects, and I am trying to raise that same amount of money to gear up, so that I can devote the money I already have to sustain myself for a few months while I find ways to make a living doing what I feel so strongly called to do. I need a new camera, and the one I want is perfectly suited to the needs of my reportage approach to photography. I rented and tested it in conditions that keep coming back throughout my work (mainly low lighting and documentary style), and it has served me beautifully. I also need travel-size gear to record sound and to light up a simple portrait set-up.
Camera Package
Lens Filter
Light
Sound Recorderhttps://www.samys.com/s/h1n
My goal in the new year is to travel to New Mexico for at least a couple months, in search for deeper truths about myself, the bond between spirituality and creativity, the 'American spirit', current social realities of this country and how they intersect with ancient cultures that precede colonization - and to somehow translate this search into photography and writing through blog, articles, reportage, and a lot that I know I can't envision yet until it happens. I remember that feeling of moving to LA and being completely open to life and opportunities, with endless energy and relentless motivation. I am putting myself in that position again, this time in a new state, with more experience and awareness, a little more funds, and an actual body of work that hopefully speaks for itself.
Any donation you decide to make will be put to good use towards me taking my photography career to the next level. If you would like to support my work and my efforts to commit to it by buying a print from me, please get in touch. My website and Instagram account are good places to get a feel of what I am about and what I can do. I can't wait to stretch the limits of that, thanks to your help.
I truly appreciate you taking the time to read me until the end.
Organisator
Alicia Fischmeister
Organisator
Los Angeles, CA