Help Tommy Survive Suicide

On Tuesday 22 September, just two days before his 14th birthday, our beautiful son attempted to take his own life by placing a rifle under his chin and pulling the trigger. Thanks to the quick actions of his mother, our local police and fire departments, a rapid response from the local EMS, and a vigilant team of healtcare professionals at the Monroe Carrell jr. Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt, Tommy is still here with us.

The first week of this journey was spent hoping that Tommy would survive and prove to be biologically stable. He jumped that hurdle, and his body is operating on its own. Once we learned that Tommy would physically survive this tragedy, we were quickly introduced the to world of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). For the past month we have waited while Tommy remains in a state which can not be considered conscious (self aware), and hope each day for his emergence into consciousness.  His eyes open and search the room, sometimes settling on one of the faces there. His mouth moves but no words come out, due to the trach tube which resides in his throat. His body responds to touch, sometimes spasming to the softest touch. He appears to be awake, but he is not conscious yet. Watching the most complex bioelectrochemical  computer in the known universe reboot, is a tortorus process with no guarantees of which systems will operate and which systems will fail. 

Two weeks ago (21 October) Tommy was transported from Vanderbilt in Nashville to the Shepherd Center  in Atlanta to receive care in their Disorders of Consciousness Program. This program is designed to assist those in a vegitative state to achieve emergence into a conscious state. We are hopeful that he will emerge, but in this new world of TBI there are no guarantees. 

As we await Tommy's emergence we are faced with the possibility that we will need to take him home and care for him until he does emerge to the point that he can attend rehabilitation and begin the next steps of his recovery. This will require an amount of money that we could never hope to gather over a period of years, let alone a period of weeks. So we have decided to use the power of the internet, and the generosity inherent in a bulk of the human species, to help us help our son survive his suicide attempt. We need help, and we will be eternally grateful if you would choose to help us work our way through this tragedy.

WHAT WE MAY NEED:

In this new world of Traumatic Brain Injury there are no guarantees, there are no definitives, there is no such thing as a "full recovery", and there is no prognosis to tell us what to expect. Every brain injury is different. We can only wait and see if his brain heals to a point that he could one day live a relatively normal life. Tommy may never emerge into consciousness and we would need help to care for a 14 year old boy living in a persistant vegitative state, or he could recover consciousness and move into rehabilitation where he can be trained to deal with any deficits left behind by his injury. Only time will tell how far back our little boy can come. This is why I'm listing what we may need, because from day to day the list can change. 

1. We may need to retrofit our house to accomodate a wheelchair bound boy. This includes building a wheelchair ramp and landing so that he can access the house, should we have to take him home.

2. We may need tens of thousands of dollars worth of medical equipment to help care for a boy in a vegetative state while we await his emergence into consciousness. Our medical insurer (Aetna) will only cover 2500 dollars worth of Durable Medical Equipment, so our portion could be up to 50 thousand dollars depending on what Tommy needs.

3. We may need a vehicle which is equipped with wheelchair accessability accessories in order to get Tommy to his numerous medical appointments which await us in the coming months, or even to get him home.

4. We may need transportation and accomodations while we stay in Atlanta as we await his emergence, and if he emerges we may need these as we progress through his rehabilitation. 

5. We may need to hire an attorney to help fight Aetna, a company which stands to post nearly 3 Billion Dollars in profit this calendar year, to force them to approve the care that Tommy needs.

6.  We may need tens of thousands of dollars to cover medical expenses and supplies which are not covered by our medical insurance. 

7. We may need to fund long term care options if Tommy doesn't emerge to consciousness.

8. We may need thousands of other things that we just can't foresee at this point of the process. 

HOW YOU CAN HELP:

If you can make a contribution, without placing any undue financial burden on yourself or your family, then we will be eternally grateful for your kindness and generosity. If you can't make a contribution, then there are other ways that you can help. 

1. Spread the word! The more people who see Tommy's story, the better chance we have to help bring him back to life. I have set up a Facebook page  and Twitter  account where I intend to update Tommy's status throughout the journey ahead. Check in often for updates, and please like and share so that we can get the message out far and wide. We are also hoping to set up a blog so that we can add our experience to the collective of human knowledge which is the internet.

2. Send Tommy a message. Choose any of the social media outlets that we have set up and just let a little boy know that he matters. We will be sure to read and show these wishes to him. 

3. Be alert. If you know someone who is being bullied in school, please let someone know what is happening. We don't condone using physical violence to exact retribution upon a bully, but we firmly believe that bullies can't stand tall when exposed to the light of day. If you know someone who has spoken about commiting suicide, please take it seriously and notify someone. 

4. Be a friend. If you can't help us, then please help someone. It doesn't have to be in the form of a cash donation, especially if you can't afford such an expense. If you know a family that is going through a tragedy, reach out and offer them some help. If you have a friend who is home with a physical injury, just stop by and hang out with them for a little while. If you know of a charity that needs volunteers, then please give an hour of your time to help out your fellow human beings. 

OUR ETERNAL GRATITUDE IS YOURS:

Our hope is to personally thank those who are able to help us through this family tragedy. As we progress through this new world of Traumatic Brain Injury, we are learning that free time is in serious short supply, so I can't guarantee that we will be able to personally thank everyone, but we will do our absolute best to do so. For those who donate anonymously, please know that you have our eternal gratitude and that you have helped to give an amazing little boy a chance to live again. 

For those who can't help financially, we completely understand and don't want to see anyone suffer additional financial burden on our account. We only ask that you take a few minutes and help someone, whether you know them or not. We believe that world can be a much better place when humans take the time to help other humans in need.



NOT FOR PERSONAL GAIN:

Due to the nature of Tommy's injury, the potential exists that he could recover to a point that none of the above listed items are necessary. His mother and I certainly hope that this is the case, but we need to prepare for the very real possibility that we will need to take our son home in a vegetative state and care for him. If Tommy does emerge and regains his ability to walk before we return home with him, then many of the items listed will be unnecessary. We want everyone to know that any money collected which does not go directly towards Tommy's care, Tommy's medical needs, Tommy's educational needs, or the defense of his care, will not be used for our personal gain in any way. Should we collect more than is needed to care for our son, then we will redistribute any additional funds to others in similar situations who find themselves lost, afraid, and in need of help. Any excess funds will be given to charities that deal with teen suicide or traumatic brain injuries, or directly to other families stuck in the midst of their own personal tragedies.