Life on the Lump - Save the Virtues
Donation protected
Life is hard. With each passing day, life gets harder. I have been tapping out, begging for relief, dying to find some peace. And still I cannot seem to put the pieces of my life together in a way that allows my family to be happy without sacrificing everything that I hold dear, right down to my very sanity.
Life on the Lump: Mental Stay/Away Vacation
We have lost our home, our vehicle, our employment, our friends, our clothes, our belongings, our ability to provide running water and heating and electricity, right down to losing our ability to support ourselves in order to raise the beautiful family I dreamed possible when I met my husband fourteen years ago.
I'm sure that seems a little strange... I lost everything when I dreamed of creating the most beautiful family ever. But it's my truth and I'm willing to share every last detail of how I started with a broken heart, found the man to heal it, spent seven years breaking my heart into tiny bits and pieces while I figured out who I was, who I wanted to be, and who I wanted to be with, and began the process of putting those pieces back together when we started our family with the birth of the most perfect little virtue, Patience. Things started to make more sense with the birth of our prettiest little virtue, Prudence. Around the time Providence (our cutest little virtue) was born I realized exactly what I was working for and exactly what it would take to make the family everything I dreamed it could be.
Meet the Family
And it started with happiness.
Recipe for Happiness
Unfortunately happiness is a rather elusive thing. It changes from time to time and sometimes loses value based on where you're standing or who you're talking to. And so from where I was standing I "thought" I had found happiness. Until someone snuck into my house and opened my eyes to how blind I truly was and how little I valued and appreciated all that was aroud me. It wasn't until I lost all that I held dear that I realized I had a lot of work to do to figure out how to get it all back.
Sweet as Sweet-Potato Pie
But I've almost entirely figured out what I need to be happy and my husband only needs me to be happy to enjoy his own happiness. The tricky part: my happiness is entirely dependent on raising my children to be morally sound adults who never fall into the hellish trap of "growing up" into unappreciative and unhelpful "grownups".
More to Explore
What does that mean?
It means I want to raise my children apart from violent behavior but fully aware that it is a choice of action while helping them fully understand why they should abstain from that type of behavior. It means that I want to teach my children how to use their words "violently" to assuage any negative tendencies people believe are inherent to human nature while nurturing the practice of only using our words violently when someone "volatilely" disrespects our good nature. It means that I want to teach my children that every person owns the right to equal and mutual respect and how when someone disregards respect they open themselves up to the disrespectful treatment at the hands of their victim.
Which brings me to my problem: How do you raise children to be "respectful" in a world full of disrespectful people?
My first thought was to do it alone. Separate myself from anyone and anything that fell outside the parameters of morally sound adults raising morally sound children. I failed to account for several very crippling flaws in my plan. The biggest issue: the fact that I am not a morally sound adult, regularly choose to act like a petulent grownup, and quite often behave like a totally childish bitch. Factor in my inability to be on the go twenty four hours a day, and I found myself completely unable to be the around the clock lover, nurterer, and caretaker that it takes to be a "perfect parent" (in my eyes and my mind).
Those are just my personal issues preventing me from being the parent I want to be... I haven't even begun to explain the issues stemming from relying on another human being to coparent beside me when I don't agree with most of what comes out of his mouth. Nor the fact that we live in a world that has unrealistic expectations, falsified demands of the difficulty of life, and unattainable dreams for making something of yourself. I could go on and on about how the world makes it difficult to be the parent I want but that feels too much like finger-pointing and not enough like problem solving - which is what I'm all about.
So where is this all heading?
As plainly as I can put it - my family is at rock bottom after more than four years of scraping and scrambling not to end up in this very predicament.
1. We have no money: No income, no employment, and a laundry list of extenuating circumstances that make getting a "regular" job near impossible.
2. We have bills to pay: With no source of incoming money, we fail to be able to afford the most basic essentials of life. Running water, electric, gas. Let alone modern conveniences like television, internet, and cellphones. Never you mind about being able to spend money on "frivolous" things like a visit to the local ice cream shoppe, a fun trip to Cedar Point for Halloweekends, or even for a bite at "the Cookie Place" (or EatnPark as most people know it).
3. We have children to provide for: No money means failing to be able to purchase the neverending list of things children fly through in their race to being "all grown up". Clothes, shoes, coats, toys and entertainment, school and art supplies, and whatever other things children "need" that I can't imagine ever having the money to afford.
4. I am trying to keep from killing myself while raising these children - Meaning I would like to be able to enjoy life as well. I don't need much. Good food, clean house, and regular but completely spontaneous "trips". Trips can be anything that gets me out of the house that is not considered a chore “for” the family. Whether it be eating out with the family, spending the evening alone with my husband, or taking a family vacation to somewhere exotic – it all counts. And I will be thrilled to do it.
5. I am weirdly honest, totally nuts, and a crazy lunatic that is hell bent on helping people learn to help themselves to their own personal definition of happiness. I believe some crazy stuff and can barely comprehend what I “know” and yet I fully accept that what I believe is a necessary piece of guiding others on their way to perfect happiness.
Okay, now what is all that about?
I believe I am as poor as I will ever get. I have no money. My family is down to my husband, our children, and the occasional appearance of Grandma. My best friend has a family of her own to raise. My husband’s friends have all given all the help they can and now have basically disowned him for not having pulled the family from our slump “by now”.
Up until we couldn’t afford not to, we tried to avoid leaning on people for help. Now that we have no one to lean on, we are still fighting to live a life. However life has doled out lump after lump for us to take and we can take no more.
I had a bipolar breakdown in May 2014 that completely changed who I felt I was and how I needed my family to interact with me. In one day I became a different person who had very specific and extremely demanding needs. My husband was faced with relearning to love the person he vowed to love forever and was met with a coldhearted bitch who wanted to run away from him every chance that I could. When I wasn’t running in the opposite direction, I was violently attacking him any way I could - and sadly a couple times it even came to physical blows.
But that was then and this is now – I have found ways to get my “bipolar” under control and have been able to resolve my issues that caused such volatile and violent reactions to my husband while reconciling and repairing the damage I did while I was not in control of myself. Unfortunately learning to manipulate the tidal waves that comes with bipolarity has taken an extreme toll on my husband. Normally the healthiest man you could ever meet, he is now the epitome of “dead man walking”. His aura just radiates a sense of unwellness that you can see when you look into his tired eyes, feel as he walks dispassionately through the motions of life, and taste as his once youthful comedic presence wanes on about the atrocities of life and the beating he has taken living it. My family has seen far too much tragedy in the short time since we started it. I really feel we need a break from the bad and could use a good helping of helpful love. I feel like we all could use a laugh as we get ourselves back to standing. I’m willing to share every laugh, every triumph, every last detail of my life with anyone willing to help my family.
Right now I am asking for help paying my past due bills and keeping them on while I build a real source of income to support my family, repairing our almost broken vehicle and keeping the gas tank filled so I can transport my family where they need to go, paying for the dental and medical care my husband desperately needs, repairing the dirty and dilapidated state of the house we are presently residing in under dubious landlord/tenant conditions, providing any entertainment and simple enjoyment that life can provide when one person thoughtfully considers another and their position in life.
THE SPECIFICS
My water is shut off. We need at least $146 plus a reconnect fee in order to turn it on. The total bill is somewhere around $500. The past due portion of this bill has been carried forward since we moved in and is actually the landlord’s responsibility but because of our “dubious landlord/tenant” agreement we are stuck owing the balance or dealing with the bill being shut off when we can’t afford to make a payment.
The electric is in the same situation however it is not yet shut off. We are days away from this happening. We tried having our pediatrician sign a medical release stating we needed to keep the electric on because we have a newborn and two year old in the house. He refused on the grounds that he only signs release forms if there is a breathing machine in the house. The electric bill is somewhere around $350.
Right now, any money I receive will go towards paying those bills. After that, I will buy gas to get my children to school. After that I will pay my other utilities: gas, cellphone, and internet. I also need money to get my husband a new driver’s license since his expired this year on his birthday (in September).
Once I have obtained the money for these items I will reassess where I will put any further money.
THE DEAL
It is very difficult for me to take freely and not offer anything in return. And so I want to offer my family and the happiness we receive from your generosity. I want to give my donors the benefit of knowing exactly where their money went, precisely how we spent their hard earned dollars, and provide peace of mind knowing that it went to a good cause.
I will share photos of our life with anyone interested.
I will keep in touch with anyone who wants to know how we are doing on a regular basis.
I will broadcast my life for the world to see if only the world would help raise my family.
I am an artist and a creator. I will “sell” my work in exchange for your money to help me live life the way I want to live it until I can sustain my own “working wage” to support my family.
My husband is incredibly intelligent and a genius at marketing.
My daughters are the closest thing to perfection I can imagine and positively exude beauty and life with all that they do.
My son is perfect in my eyes.
I want to share my family with the world so I can show the world how I think we start fixing “big problems” by starting at the biggest issue dragging down our world today: THE CHILDREN
The children aren’t being loved properly and therefore are not growing into fully functioning adults. Instead we are left with childish grownups that just want to blow shit up and tear things apart while fighting like cats and dogs. I’m the type of person that believes a true leader shows people in their actions rather than telling people what to do.
I want the chance to show people how to live at the hands of other people while never taking more than you need and always giving the extra to those with less.
In order to do that, I humbly ask for your generous donation to my cause, my life, my family. I promise I will do everything I can to make sure you don't regret it.
Life on the Lump: Mental Stay/Away Vacation
We have lost our home, our vehicle, our employment, our friends, our clothes, our belongings, our ability to provide running water and heating and electricity, right down to losing our ability to support ourselves in order to raise the beautiful family I dreamed possible when I met my husband fourteen years ago.
I'm sure that seems a little strange... I lost everything when I dreamed of creating the most beautiful family ever. But it's my truth and I'm willing to share every last detail of how I started with a broken heart, found the man to heal it, spent seven years breaking my heart into tiny bits and pieces while I figured out who I was, who I wanted to be, and who I wanted to be with, and began the process of putting those pieces back together when we started our family with the birth of the most perfect little virtue, Patience. Things started to make more sense with the birth of our prettiest little virtue, Prudence. Around the time Providence (our cutest little virtue) was born I realized exactly what I was working for and exactly what it would take to make the family everything I dreamed it could be.
Meet the Family
And it started with happiness.
Recipe for Happiness
Unfortunately happiness is a rather elusive thing. It changes from time to time and sometimes loses value based on where you're standing or who you're talking to. And so from where I was standing I "thought" I had found happiness. Until someone snuck into my house and opened my eyes to how blind I truly was and how little I valued and appreciated all that was aroud me. It wasn't until I lost all that I held dear that I realized I had a lot of work to do to figure out how to get it all back.
Sweet as Sweet-Potato Pie
But I've almost entirely figured out what I need to be happy and my husband only needs me to be happy to enjoy his own happiness. The tricky part: my happiness is entirely dependent on raising my children to be morally sound adults who never fall into the hellish trap of "growing up" into unappreciative and unhelpful "grownups".
More to Explore
What does that mean?
It means I want to raise my children apart from violent behavior but fully aware that it is a choice of action while helping them fully understand why they should abstain from that type of behavior. It means that I want to teach my children how to use their words "violently" to assuage any negative tendencies people believe are inherent to human nature while nurturing the practice of only using our words violently when someone "volatilely" disrespects our good nature. It means that I want to teach my children that every person owns the right to equal and mutual respect and how when someone disregards respect they open themselves up to the disrespectful treatment at the hands of their victim.
Which brings me to my problem: How do you raise children to be "respectful" in a world full of disrespectful people?
My first thought was to do it alone. Separate myself from anyone and anything that fell outside the parameters of morally sound adults raising morally sound children. I failed to account for several very crippling flaws in my plan. The biggest issue: the fact that I am not a morally sound adult, regularly choose to act like a petulent grownup, and quite often behave like a totally childish bitch. Factor in my inability to be on the go twenty four hours a day, and I found myself completely unable to be the around the clock lover, nurterer, and caretaker that it takes to be a "perfect parent" (in my eyes and my mind).
Those are just my personal issues preventing me from being the parent I want to be... I haven't even begun to explain the issues stemming from relying on another human being to coparent beside me when I don't agree with most of what comes out of his mouth. Nor the fact that we live in a world that has unrealistic expectations, falsified demands of the difficulty of life, and unattainable dreams for making something of yourself. I could go on and on about how the world makes it difficult to be the parent I want but that feels too much like finger-pointing and not enough like problem solving - which is what I'm all about.
So where is this all heading?
As plainly as I can put it - my family is at rock bottom after more than four years of scraping and scrambling not to end up in this very predicament.
1. We have no money: No income, no employment, and a laundry list of extenuating circumstances that make getting a "regular" job near impossible.
2. We have bills to pay: With no source of incoming money, we fail to be able to afford the most basic essentials of life. Running water, electric, gas. Let alone modern conveniences like television, internet, and cellphones. Never you mind about being able to spend money on "frivolous" things like a visit to the local ice cream shoppe, a fun trip to Cedar Point for Halloweekends, or even for a bite at "the Cookie Place" (or EatnPark as most people know it).
3. We have children to provide for: No money means failing to be able to purchase the neverending list of things children fly through in their race to being "all grown up". Clothes, shoes, coats, toys and entertainment, school and art supplies, and whatever other things children "need" that I can't imagine ever having the money to afford.
4. I am trying to keep from killing myself while raising these children - Meaning I would like to be able to enjoy life as well. I don't need much. Good food, clean house, and regular but completely spontaneous "trips". Trips can be anything that gets me out of the house that is not considered a chore “for” the family. Whether it be eating out with the family, spending the evening alone with my husband, or taking a family vacation to somewhere exotic – it all counts. And I will be thrilled to do it.
5. I am weirdly honest, totally nuts, and a crazy lunatic that is hell bent on helping people learn to help themselves to their own personal definition of happiness. I believe some crazy stuff and can barely comprehend what I “know” and yet I fully accept that what I believe is a necessary piece of guiding others on their way to perfect happiness.
Okay, now what is all that about?
I believe I am as poor as I will ever get. I have no money. My family is down to my husband, our children, and the occasional appearance of Grandma. My best friend has a family of her own to raise. My husband’s friends have all given all the help they can and now have basically disowned him for not having pulled the family from our slump “by now”.
Up until we couldn’t afford not to, we tried to avoid leaning on people for help. Now that we have no one to lean on, we are still fighting to live a life. However life has doled out lump after lump for us to take and we can take no more.
I had a bipolar breakdown in May 2014 that completely changed who I felt I was and how I needed my family to interact with me. In one day I became a different person who had very specific and extremely demanding needs. My husband was faced with relearning to love the person he vowed to love forever and was met with a coldhearted bitch who wanted to run away from him every chance that I could. When I wasn’t running in the opposite direction, I was violently attacking him any way I could - and sadly a couple times it even came to physical blows.
But that was then and this is now – I have found ways to get my “bipolar” under control and have been able to resolve my issues that caused such volatile and violent reactions to my husband while reconciling and repairing the damage I did while I was not in control of myself. Unfortunately learning to manipulate the tidal waves that comes with bipolarity has taken an extreme toll on my husband. Normally the healthiest man you could ever meet, he is now the epitome of “dead man walking”. His aura just radiates a sense of unwellness that you can see when you look into his tired eyes, feel as he walks dispassionately through the motions of life, and taste as his once youthful comedic presence wanes on about the atrocities of life and the beating he has taken living it. My family has seen far too much tragedy in the short time since we started it. I really feel we need a break from the bad and could use a good helping of helpful love. I feel like we all could use a laugh as we get ourselves back to standing. I’m willing to share every laugh, every triumph, every last detail of my life with anyone willing to help my family.
Right now I am asking for help paying my past due bills and keeping them on while I build a real source of income to support my family, repairing our almost broken vehicle and keeping the gas tank filled so I can transport my family where they need to go, paying for the dental and medical care my husband desperately needs, repairing the dirty and dilapidated state of the house we are presently residing in under dubious landlord/tenant conditions, providing any entertainment and simple enjoyment that life can provide when one person thoughtfully considers another and their position in life.
THE SPECIFICS
My water is shut off. We need at least $146 plus a reconnect fee in order to turn it on. The total bill is somewhere around $500. The past due portion of this bill has been carried forward since we moved in and is actually the landlord’s responsibility but because of our “dubious landlord/tenant” agreement we are stuck owing the balance or dealing with the bill being shut off when we can’t afford to make a payment.
The electric is in the same situation however it is not yet shut off. We are days away from this happening. We tried having our pediatrician sign a medical release stating we needed to keep the electric on because we have a newborn and two year old in the house. He refused on the grounds that he only signs release forms if there is a breathing machine in the house. The electric bill is somewhere around $350.
Right now, any money I receive will go towards paying those bills. After that, I will buy gas to get my children to school. After that I will pay my other utilities: gas, cellphone, and internet. I also need money to get my husband a new driver’s license since his expired this year on his birthday (in September).
Once I have obtained the money for these items I will reassess where I will put any further money.
THE DEAL
It is very difficult for me to take freely and not offer anything in return. And so I want to offer my family and the happiness we receive from your generosity. I want to give my donors the benefit of knowing exactly where their money went, precisely how we spent their hard earned dollars, and provide peace of mind knowing that it went to a good cause.
I will share photos of our life with anyone interested.
I will keep in touch with anyone who wants to know how we are doing on a regular basis.
I will broadcast my life for the world to see if only the world would help raise my family.
I am an artist and a creator. I will “sell” my work in exchange for your money to help me live life the way I want to live it until I can sustain my own “working wage” to support my family.
My husband is incredibly intelligent and a genius at marketing.
My daughters are the closest thing to perfection I can imagine and positively exude beauty and life with all that they do.
My son is perfect in my eyes.
I want to share my family with the world so I can show the world how I think we start fixing “big problems” by starting at the biggest issue dragging down our world today: THE CHILDREN
The children aren’t being loved properly and therefore are not growing into fully functioning adults. Instead we are left with childish grownups that just want to blow shit up and tear things apart while fighting like cats and dogs. I’m the type of person that believes a true leader shows people in their actions rather than telling people what to do.
I want the chance to show people how to live at the hands of other people while never taking more than you need and always giving the extra to those with less.
In order to do that, I humbly ask for your generous donation to my cause, my life, my family. I promise I will do everything I can to make sure you don't regret it.
Organizer
Patrick Kenimond
Organizer
Akron, OH
