Alexas Transition

Hello, thank you for taking the time to view my page. Here's a little back ground about myself: My name is Alexa and I am 27 years old and I am transgender MtF. I have been on hormone replacement therapy for 8.5 months. I have served in the military for almost 10 years now. My job is 12B, a Combat Engineer. What that means is I look for IEDs.. Bombs. During my deployments we went out to clear the route of any IEDs and subsequently getting into firefights and other forms of combat. I have had 3 combat deployments. Some worse than others. I somehow have managed to stay alive this long. My whole life I have always been worried about what others thought and chose to find external sources of happiness. I have known since I was a kid that I have felt like I was supposed to be born a female. I wish I wasn't like this sometimes but it's the hand I'm dealt. I have struggled with this my whole life. Especially through puberty. I have tried committing suicide multiple times growing up. I was never happy. I joined the army and got lost in my deployments. It was easier to be worried about only my survival and my buddies survival than to think about how much I was struggling with myself. I got married and thought I was happy. Which, in a sense, I was. At the same time this feeling never went away. I still, regardless of my efforts could not suppress this feeling. I have struggled with myself and hated myself for so long. It was eating me alive. During my last deployment my wife and I split up and over the next couple years I had time to figure out what I wanted to do. I knew that in order for me to be happy I would have to do this. As much as I don't want to be anyone's enemy, as much as I don't want to be treated differently, as much as I was afraid to be myself because of the world around me.. Especially the military combat arms. I had to make this decision. I couldn't handle it anymore. I was breaking...hard. On August 1st 2017 I started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). Since then I have lost a lot of people.. Friends, family, co-workers. At the same time I also gained a lot and realized who was really there for me. I have faced a good amount of hate and ridicule but that's OK. I have never loved myself more in my life. I can actually say, for the first time in my entire life that I love myself. I have never felt this way before. My life is getting better one day at a time. Even though it may be hard I push forward because no one can take away everything I have learned. I am more confident than ever and I am just over-all feeling better than ever about being alive. I know I still have a long road ahead of me in this transition but in the end it will be worth it. I deserve to start living for myself and be happy too. My goal is to be finished with my transition by the time I'm 30. On my 29th year should be my last surgery at the latest. I have made a budget for my surgeries and have also had consultations with my surgeons of choice. I am planning on SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery) and FFS (Facial Feminisation Surgery). My SRS is scheduled for September 20, 2018. Just 5 days before my birthday. The cost for that is $16,400. It will be conducted in Thailand with Dr. Suporn. My FFS is still tentative based on research and a few different consultations. My Dr. of choice is Dr. Zukowski in IL. My price for him is roughly $25,000. So combined my total cost will be $41,400. Of course I will be doing as much saving as possible on my end but I am worried I won't meet that goal without help. Please if you can donate even just one dollar that would help tremendously. I'm not just asking without expecting to give back in return. If you donate, thank you and if you can, send to me an idea of some way I can give back to everyone as thanks and appreciation for everything. I will do everything I can to show my gratitude. Please consider a donation. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Alexa