How many times can a heart break??
Donation protected
These precious little hands that you see pictured above belong to our son Noah Jensen Lyons. Noah was our ninth baby who we had hoped would become our first living baby. As we’ve had an incredibly traumatic and complex obstetric history, the goal for Noah was merely to reach 24wks gestation. Heartbreakingly, on 06/10/2018 it became apparent that this was not going to happen. Samantha went into premature labour which was unable to be stopped and our son Noah Jensen Lyons was stillborn at 21weeks 6days. He was just 1 week and 1 day shy of the 24wk goal which the obstetricians had set. Losing a baby at any gestation is unimaginable. But for our family, this is only one piece of our incredibly long and sad baby journey.
Hi there, we are Paul & Samantha. A Melbourne based couple who just like many others want to have a family.
Unfortunately, our road to parenthood has been paved with tragedy & heartbreak.
In 2014, we were excitedly pregnant and expecting our first child. On Valentines Day, our world came crumbling down when our son Cooper Joseph Rowe was stillborn at 22wks. Following his delivery there was some retained product which resulted in Samantha becoming gravely ill due to infection and spending weeks in icu fighting for her life. Incredibly she eventually pulled through and was able to leave hospital. We proceeded to organise Coopers funeral and Samantha then returned to work within 2 weeks as we did not realise that she was entitled to Maternity Leave.
After a few months of ttc, we then found out we were pregnant again!! This pregnancy was a bit more challenging. On 23 January 2015, tragedy struck us again!! Samantha was at work when suddenly she went into premature labour. Her waters broke before the ambulance could attend which meant there was no way our son could be saved. He was born still at 19wks5days gestation which technically is a late miscarriage. Given it was a miscarriage and not a stillbirth, our son who we named Hudson James Rowe was not a registered birth and there was no entitlement for parental/maternity leave. We later found out that Samantha had gone into early labour as the result of a low grade infection that had slipped by undetected. Samantha become very unwell once again following delivery and had to undergo treatment for the infection. She returned to work within 2 weeks of being discharged from hospital as we needed the money.
After a few months of ttc, we then found out that we were pregnant again!! Surely, this had to be the one, it was our time. We found out that we were having identical twin girls!!!! We had been blessed with two girls after losing our two boys, it was meant to be!!! These girls were called MoMo twins and were very high risk as they shared both a placenta and sac. The hospital informed us of the risks and we knew they were high, but we loved these girls so much already we threw everything into the pregnancy and crossed our fingers. Sadly on 30/08/15 at 15wks gestation our beautiful twinnies Emma & Zoe tangled their cords and died. Once again, following delivery, Samantha contracted that same infection and become seriously ill again!! After treatment in hospital she again returned to work within two weeks of being discharged as we needed the money.
Between the years 2016-2017, we continued to ttc. As we were getting older our chances were diminishing. Samantha fell pregnant in October 2016, December 2016, November 2017 and December 2017 but heartbreakingly none of those pregnancies lasted more than 8wks. The specialists said this was most likely because of our age. We even went and met with some IVF doctors who said we could look at doing IVF but at the rates at which we were conceiving naturally there wasn’t much point and it wouldn’t remove any of the risks which we take into future pregnancies, we would still face all of those.
We were so overjoyed when we found out that we were pregnant with Noah. We felt it was such a real blessing. We had another chance at becoming parents to a living child. The pregnancy was classified as extremely high risk and was gruelling to Samantha both physically and emotionally. There was complication after complication but our boy was a fighter and he came out on top every single time. There were infections, Placental bleeds, her Fallopian tube blocked and filled with fluid and so much pain from the extensive scarring that she has in her uterus and abdomen from the previous pregnancies, infections and surgeries. The specialists knew it was going to be tough and as such told us 24wks was the goal. We decided to be optimistic and started to prepare for our son. We brought our first ever pram, cot, car seat, change table, bookshelf and lots of premmie clothes and nappies. We knew we’d be spending months in NICU but didn’t care. It meant our son was alive and that’s all that we have dreamed of forever!!!! But sadly as with the other 8 pregnancies/babies it was not to be. Instead Samantha is now again in hospital fighting an infection and we are heartbreakingly starting to think about plans for Noah’s funeral. We are very thankful to be able to receive some government paid leave so that Samantha can have a break before returning to work this time. Her body so desperately needs it as does her emotional wellbeing. We will use a portion of this money when it comes through to fund Noah’s funeral costs.
We don’t know what the future holds for us now which is terrifying. It is entirely possible that our window of opportunity to get pregnant may have closed. We PRAY that this is not the case. We have previously investigated both adoption and surrogacy options. We are too late to get put on the waitlist for adoption, we would need to do so much earlier in our lives to have a chance. And surrogacy costs around 80k per child which we just do not have. If we had it, we’d pay it in a heartbeat. But for now, we need to rest and heal. We had hoped to be able to go away for a holiday somewhere abroad once Samantha is well however, we will not have enough money to do so after funding Noah’s funeral costs and living on one salary whilst Samantha is on Bereaved Maternity Leave.
We hate to ask for charity but would love to have a decent break as we haven’t done this during any of our previous pregnancies. We feel it is much needed this time, we need some time away from normal life which will enable us to heal our hearts, our minds, our relationship and the chance to really and fully process the loss of Baby Noah.
On a side note, we started a social enterprise which raises awareness for Pregnancy and Infant Loss after we lost our second son Hudson. It was our way to try and support other Bereaved Parents. We have now been running this for over 3 years and it really is a labour of love for Samantha. She spends countless hours outside of her day job coordinating community events, designing memorial keepsakes and trying to build a loving community for those who have suffered similar loss. The business is completely self funded and 100% of the monies raised gets reinvested to ensure there are further opportunities available for Australian Bereaved individuals and their families and friends.
www.facebook.com/MemoriesofanAngel/
We are quite independent people and normally we manage our losses and all that comes with them ourselves. Unfortunately in this instance, we find ourselves needing help.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read our story.
Hi there, we are Paul & Samantha. A Melbourne based couple who just like many others want to have a family.
Unfortunately, our road to parenthood has been paved with tragedy & heartbreak.
In 2014, we were excitedly pregnant and expecting our first child. On Valentines Day, our world came crumbling down when our son Cooper Joseph Rowe was stillborn at 22wks. Following his delivery there was some retained product which resulted in Samantha becoming gravely ill due to infection and spending weeks in icu fighting for her life. Incredibly she eventually pulled through and was able to leave hospital. We proceeded to organise Coopers funeral and Samantha then returned to work within 2 weeks as we did not realise that she was entitled to Maternity Leave.
After a few months of ttc, we then found out we were pregnant again!! This pregnancy was a bit more challenging. On 23 January 2015, tragedy struck us again!! Samantha was at work when suddenly she went into premature labour. Her waters broke before the ambulance could attend which meant there was no way our son could be saved. He was born still at 19wks5days gestation which technically is a late miscarriage. Given it was a miscarriage and not a stillbirth, our son who we named Hudson James Rowe was not a registered birth and there was no entitlement for parental/maternity leave. We later found out that Samantha had gone into early labour as the result of a low grade infection that had slipped by undetected. Samantha become very unwell once again following delivery and had to undergo treatment for the infection. She returned to work within 2 weeks of being discharged from hospital as we needed the money.
After a few months of ttc, we then found out that we were pregnant again!! Surely, this had to be the one, it was our time. We found out that we were having identical twin girls!!!! We had been blessed with two girls after losing our two boys, it was meant to be!!! These girls were called MoMo twins and were very high risk as they shared both a placenta and sac. The hospital informed us of the risks and we knew they were high, but we loved these girls so much already we threw everything into the pregnancy and crossed our fingers. Sadly on 30/08/15 at 15wks gestation our beautiful twinnies Emma & Zoe tangled their cords and died. Once again, following delivery, Samantha contracted that same infection and become seriously ill again!! After treatment in hospital she again returned to work within two weeks of being discharged as we needed the money.
Between the years 2016-2017, we continued to ttc. As we were getting older our chances were diminishing. Samantha fell pregnant in October 2016, December 2016, November 2017 and December 2017 but heartbreakingly none of those pregnancies lasted more than 8wks. The specialists said this was most likely because of our age. We even went and met with some IVF doctors who said we could look at doing IVF but at the rates at which we were conceiving naturally there wasn’t much point and it wouldn’t remove any of the risks which we take into future pregnancies, we would still face all of those.
We were so overjoyed when we found out that we were pregnant with Noah. We felt it was such a real blessing. We had another chance at becoming parents to a living child. The pregnancy was classified as extremely high risk and was gruelling to Samantha both physically and emotionally. There was complication after complication but our boy was a fighter and he came out on top every single time. There were infections, Placental bleeds, her Fallopian tube blocked and filled with fluid and so much pain from the extensive scarring that she has in her uterus and abdomen from the previous pregnancies, infections and surgeries. The specialists knew it was going to be tough and as such told us 24wks was the goal. We decided to be optimistic and started to prepare for our son. We brought our first ever pram, cot, car seat, change table, bookshelf and lots of premmie clothes and nappies. We knew we’d be spending months in NICU but didn’t care. It meant our son was alive and that’s all that we have dreamed of forever!!!! But sadly as with the other 8 pregnancies/babies it was not to be. Instead Samantha is now again in hospital fighting an infection and we are heartbreakingly starting to think about plans for Noah’s funeral. We are very thankful to be able to receive some government paid leave so that Samantha can have a break before returning to work this time. Her body so desperately needs it as does her emotional wellbeing. We will use a portion of this money when it comes through to fund Noah’s funeral costs.
We don’t know what the future holds for us now which is terrifying. It is entirely possible that our window of opportunity to get pregnant may have closed. We PRAY that this is not the case. We have previously investigated both adoption and surrogacy options. We are too late to get put on the waitlist for adoption, we would need to do so much earlier in our lives to have a chance. And surrogacy costs around 80k per child which we just do not have. If we had it, we’d pay it in a heartbeat. But for now, we need to rest and heal. We had hoped to be able to go away for a holiday somewhere abroad once Samantha is well however, we will not have enough money to do so after funding Noah’s funeral costs and living on one salary whilst Samantha is on Bereaved Maternity Leave.
We hate to ask for charity but would love to have a decent break as we haven’t done this during any of our previous pregnancies. We feel it is much needed this time, we need some time away from normal life which will enable us to heal our hearts, our minds, our relationship and the chance to really and fully process the loss of Baby Noah.
On a side note, we started a social enterprise which raises awareness for Pregnancy and Infant Loss after we lost our second son Hudson. It was our way to try and support other Bereaved Parents. We have now been running this for over 3 years and it really is a labour of love for Samantha. She spends countless hours outside of her day job coordinating community events, designing memorial keepsakes and trying to build a loving community for those who have suffered similar loss. The business is completely self funded and 100% of the monies raised gets reinvested to ensure there are further opportunities available for Australian Bereaved individuals and their families and friends.
www.facebook.com/MemoriesofanAngel/
We are quite independent people and normally we manage our losses and all that comes with them ourselves. Unfortunately in this instance, we find ourselves needing help.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read our story.
Organizer
Samantha Rowe
Organizer
Bellfield VIC
