The Adoption of Aurelia and Karrin
Spende geschützt
Hi everyone! My name
is Denise, I am the proud mother of five, and step mother to three. My husband, Mike, and I love our big family,
and it would hurt beyond words to lose even one of them. This is what has brought me to
gofundme.com. We are in a battle to save
the youngest two of our children, Aurelia and Karrin, and we can't do it alone
(as much as we wish we could). The
demands of every day normal life in the Halter-Mclaughlin family are hard
enough in today's economy, and now we are in an even harder battle.
A short history is due so that you know the scope of our battle. Aurelia, Karrin and their big sister were all removed from the care of their mother in June 2010. When the local task force served a "no knock" search warrant on the residence where they lived with their mother, her cousin/"fiancé", uncle and grandmother, the task force was unprepared for what they would find. The reason for the search warrant was simple, possible drug manufacturing and distribution. Little did the task force know there were even more problems within the household. Trash, rotting food, dirty clothes, cat feces, roaches and bed bugs littered the small two bedroom trailer. Three marijuana plants were found within reach of the children, drug paraphernalia was found throughout the residence, and a Pepsi bottle filled with urine was found two feet from Karrin, just two months old at the time.
A neighbor who saw all the police vehicles pulling up to the trailer made a call to Aurelia and Karrin's paternal grandmother, who dropped everything and made her way to the residence. When she arrived and started towards the residence she overheard several police officer's warning other's to get in "booties" and a mask before entering. When she reached the property line she was greeted by a member of the Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS). After identifying herself as the children's grandmother, and with permission from the girl's mother she was allowed to take the children to her home. But there was no doubt, the children were in the legal custody of the State of Utah.
The children were hungry and dirty. The grandmother bathed and fed the girls, placed them in t-shirts that belonged to their Aunt as all the clothes the mother hurriedly packed were filthy. As she washed all the clothes given to her she made make shift beds for them to sleep in. She called church leaders and close friends to find some toys for the girls to play with. She stated that the girl's hair was thin, their bodies dirty beyond belief and when they ate they ate as if no more food was available. Aurelia was just three at the time, she was timid and afraid most of the time, and her vocabulary was no better than a two year old. She was afraid to play with toys, avoided affection, didn't speak very often and often sat on the floor watching her older sister play. Karrin, at two months old, barely weighed more than her birth weight, she showed little interest in eating, and it was a constant battle to coax her to eat.
A small glimpse of life before...
Pictures taken about one month before the girls were removed from their mother's care.
Over the coming months the legal battle raged on. Because the mother accused Mike of using drugs the court would not allow him to take over physical custody of the children, so they remained with their grandmother. For eight months the State of Utah tried to reunify the children with their mother, giving her every possible chance, and then some, to straighten up and show them that she wanted the children back. She was ordered to attend an inpatient mental health facility, of which she walked out of after just one day. The judge gave her another chance, attend outpatient therapy, to which she complied for just three months.
By December of 2010 the mother only visited with the girls on two occasions, failed or simply did not take court ordered drug tests, and refused to stop seeing her cousin/"fiancé" even though she was told by DCFS and the guardian ad litem that should she continue to maintain a relationship with him she would not be granted reunification. Her cousin/"fiancé" had some domestic charges, and signed away his rights to his children after the state removed his children because of abuse. While we do not know the scope of his legal or criminal history, it must have concerned DCFS because of the statement that they would not allow the children to be around this man in any way, not even during supervised visitation with the mother.
When the next hearing came at in January 2011, the mother was a no show. DCFS had stated they hadn't had any contact from her since December, the judge dismissed her public defender from the case, ordered a no contact order for the mother, and ordered that DCFS look to the father for custody. It was at this time that Mike was FINALLY considered for reunification (yes, it took the state 8 months to consider the father for custody). Time was running out on this case and Mike had to move at the speed of light to accomplish all the state wanted him to by April, or lose the girls to the state forever. In just three months Mike finished everything the state asked him to do; drug tests, parenting classes, anger management classes, home inspections, mental health evaluations etc. The only reason for the drug tests and anger management classes were because his ex-wife had accused him of doing drugs and having anger issues. He never failed a drug test, and passed all required classes and home inspections without a problem.
In April of 2011 we were finally able to bring Aurelia and Karrin to our home (their older sister was with her parental grandfather by this time). We were thrilled to be able to celebrate Karrin's first birthday with her at our home. Aurelia progressed by leaps and bounds, she was now a happy and energetic child, and her language skills were fairly close to where they should be and she finally began seeking out affection. Karrin was a happy one year old, but was still a little behind developmentally as her pediatrician had warned. Because she was neglected so early in life she would probably remain developmentally behind for quite some time. Because of Karrin's small size and tiny features she earned the nickname "Tink."
Mike and I have enjoyed every minute of the two years we have had the girls. Denise is the only mom Karrin knows, and she continues to make progress developmentally. Aurelia is a totally different child than the one she was three years ago, she's smart, loving and loves to play and give hugs and can't wait to start school in the fall.
Mike and I were legally married on May 5th, 2013, although we were spiritually joined in May of 2012 we could not be legally married until his divorce from the girl's mother was finalized. Now that we are married it is now an option for Denise to adopt these two beautiful girls that had such an awful start to life. However, the "mother" is fighting us every step of the way. Even though the "mother" has done nothing to improve her station in life, lives with her mother, and is now married to her cousin, she still somehow thinks she deserves to have joint custody with Mike.
We have learned from several of her "friends" that she continues to have mental health issues, continues to use drugs, and relies on handouts from the church and the state. She has not paid a penny in child support, has sent no birthday cards, no diapers, not even a hastily written note. On the other hand, Denise has provided for the girls every need both financially and physically. Mike is in the process of applying for Social Security Disability and stays home with the girls during the day while Denise works. Mike and I have provided a roof over their heads, beds to sleep in, clothes on their back, food in their tummies, toys to play with and learn, hugs in the morning and "I love you's" at night. The "mother" only makes token efforts about every six months to avoid being charged with abandonment, this is the only time we hear from her, and it is usually a quick email or chat message asking when she can see the girls. There is never a follow-up, and we firmly believe that it is only to ensure that she can't be charged with abandonment.
Denise works full time as a pharmacy technician and has worked for the same business for 6 years. She has also gone back to school and is just 6 months away from graduating with her Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, at which point she will continue on to her Master's Degree program, all in an effort to better provide for the family.
During a current hearing to maintain a protective order, the "mother" stated that she would never give up her rights as a mother. She really does believe that because she gave birth to the children she has a right to see them, whether or not she has harmed them in the past. It was even heard that the reason she did not try during the custody battle with the state was because it would be easier to obtain at least visitation after the court proceedings were done. This is typical thinking on her part, she always wants to take the easy road.
This is where we need your help. In order to keep the girls in a safe, stable, loving a nurturing environment we must hire a lawyer, ask the state to terminate the "mothers" parental rights, and then file the paperwork for adoption. This is going to be a very long drawn out legal battle, and one we are willing to endure if it means that these precious children stay where they are loved and taken care of. The attorney fees, to a large family like ours, are astronomical, and while we could raise this money eventually it would probably take us several years to do so. We don't have several years! We cannot allow this woman to hurt these children again!
Please, help where you can, every penny is received with the deepest gratitude, and with the promise that we will never allow any harm to come to these children ever again. Thank you!
Our family now!
A short history is due so that you know the scope of our battle. Aurelia, Karrin and their big sister were all removed from the care of their mother in June 2010. When the local task force served a "no knock" search warrant on the residence where they lived with their mother, her cousin/"fiancé", uncle and grandmother, the task force was unprepared for what they would find. The reason for the search warrant was simple, possible drug manufacturing and distribution. Little did the task force know there were even more problems within the household. Trash, rotting food, dirty clothes, cat feces, roaches and bed bugs littered the small two bedroom trailer. Three marijuana plants were found within reach of the children, drug paraphernalia was found throughout the residence, and a Pepsi bottle filled with urine was found two feet from Karrin, just two months old at the time.
A neighbor who saw all the police vehicles pulling up to the trailer made a call to Aurelia and Karrin's paternal grandmother, who dropped everything and made her way to the residence. When she arrived and started towards the residence she overheard several police officer's warning other's to get in "booties" and a mask before entering. When she reached the property line she was greeted by a member of the Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS). After identifying herself as the children's grandmother, and with permission from the girl's mother she was allowed to take the children to her home. But there was no doubt, the children were in the legal custody of the State of Utah.
The children were hungry and dirty. The grandmother bathed and fed the girls, placed them in t-shirts that belonged to their Aunt as all the clothes the mother hurriedly packed were filthy. As she washed all the clothes given to her she made make shift beds for them to sleep in. She called church leaders and close friends to find some toys for the girls to play with. She stated that the girl's hair was thin, their bodies dirty beyond belief and when they ate they ate as if no more food was available. Aurelia was just three at the time, she was timid and afraid most of the time, and her vocabulary was no better than a two year old. She was afraid to play with toys, avoided affection, didn't speak very often and often sat on the floor watching her older sister play. Karrin, at two months old, barely weighed more than her birth weight, she showed little interest in eating, and it was a constant battle to coax her to eat.
A small glimpse of life before...
Pictures taken about one month before the girls were removed from their mother's care.
Over the coming months the legal battle raged on. Because the mother accused Mike of using drugs the court would not allow him to take over physical custody of the children, so they remained with their grandmother. For eight months the State of Utah tried to reunify the children with their mother, giving her every possible chance, and then some, to straighten up and show them that she wanted the children back. She was ordered to attend an inpatient mental health facility, of which she walked out of after just one day. The judge gave her another chance, attend outpatient therapy, to which she complied for just three months.
By December of 2010 the mother only visited with the girls on two occasions, failed or simply did not take court ordered drug tests, and refused to stop seeing her cousin/"fiancé" even though she was told by DCFS and the guardian ad litem that should she continue to maintain a relationship with him she would not be granted reunification. Her cousin/"fiancé" had some domestic charges, and signed away his rights to his children after the state removed his children because of abuse. While we do not know the scope of his legal or criminal history, it must have concerned DCFS because of the statement that they would not allow the children to be around this man in any way, not even during supervised visitation with the mother.
When the next hearing came at in January 2011, the mother was a no show. DCFS had stated they hadn't had any contact from her since December, the judge dismissed her public defender from the case, ordered a no contact order for the mother, and ordered that DCFS look to the father for custody. It was at this time that Mike was FINALLY considered for reunification (yes, it took the state 8 months to consider the father for custody). Time was running out on this case and Mike had to move at the speed of light to accomplish all the state wanted him to by April, or lose the girls to the state forever. In just three months Mike finished everything the state asked him to do; drug tests, parenting classes, anger management classes, home inspections, mental health evaluations etc. The only reason for the drug tests and anger management classes were because his ex-wife had accused him of doing drugs and having anger issues. He never failed a drug test, and passed all required classes and home inspections without a problem.
In April of 2011 we were finally able to bring Aurelia and Karrin to our home (their older sister was with her parental grandfather by this time). We were thrilled to be able to celebrate Karrin's first birthday with her at our home. Aurelia progressed by leaps and bounds, she was now a happy and energetic child, and her language skills were fairly close to where they should be and she finally began seeking out affection. Karrin was a happy one year old, but was still a little behind developmentally as her pediatrician had warned. Because she was neglected so early in life she would probably remain developmentally behind for quite some time. Because of Karrin's small size and tiny features she earned the nickname "Tink."
Mike and I have enjoyed every minute of the two years we have had the girls. Denise is the only mom Karrin knows, and she continues to make progress developmentally. Aurelia is a totally different child than the one she was three years ago, she's smart, loving and loves to play and give hugs and can't wait to start school in the fall.
Mike and I were legally married on May 5th, 2013, although we were spiritually joined in May of 2012 we could not be legally married until his divorce from the girl's mother was finalized. Now that we are married it is now an option for Denise to adopt these two beautiful girls that had such an awful start to life. However, the "mother" is fighting us every step of the way. Even though the "mother" has done nothing to improve her station in life, lives with her mother, and is now married to her cousin, she still somehow thinks she deserves to have joint custody with Mike.
We have learned from several of her "friends" that she continues to have mental health issues, continues to use drugs, and relies on handouts from the church and the state. She has not paid a penny in child support, has sent no birthday cards, no diapers, not even a hastily written note. On the other hand, Denise has provided for the girls every need both financially and physically. Mike is in the process of applying for Social Security Disability and stays home with the girls during the day while Denise works. Mike and I have provided a roof over their heads, beds to sleep in, clothes on their back, food in their tummies, toys to play with and learn, hugs in the morning and "I love you's" at night. The "mother" only makes token efforts about every six months to avoid being charged with abandonment, this is the only time we hear from her, and it is usually a quick email or chat message asking when she can see the girls. There is never a follow-up, and we firmly believe that it is only to ensure that she can't be charged with abandonment.
Denise works full time as a pharmacy technician and has worked for the same business for 6 years. She has also gone back to school and is just 6 months away from graduating with her Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, at which point she will continue on to her Master's Degree program, all in an effort to better provide for the family.
During a current hearing to maintain a protective order, the "mother" stated that she would never give up her rights as a mother. She really does believe that because she gave birth to the children she has a right to see them, whether or not she has harmed them in the past. It was even heard that the reason she did not try during the custody battle with the state was because it would be easier to obtain at least visitation after the court proceedings were done. This is typical thinking on her part, she always wants to take the easy road.
This is where we need your help. In order to keep the girls in a safe, stable, loving a nurturing environment we must hire a lawyer, ask the state to terminate the "mothers" parental rights, and then file the paperwork for adoption. This is going to be a very long drawn out legal battle, and one we are willing to endure if it means that these precious children stay where they are loved and taken care of. The attorney fees, to a large family like ours, are astronomical, and while we could raise this money eventually it would probably take us several years to do so. We don't have several years! We cannot allow this woman to hurt these children again!
Please, help where you can, every penny is received with the deepest gratitude, and with the promise that we will never allow any harm to come to these children ever again. Thank you!
Our family now!
Organisator
Denise Almquist Halter-Mclaughlin
Organisator
Orem, UT