Ashton Is An Idiot

I was casually approaching the outskirts of Statesboro, simply trying to get back home after the horrendous hurricane Matthew forced me to leave, when I saw blue lights. I was following Olivia Brown from Madison, Georgia, because I really had no idea where I was going. There was a secret speed trap that no one realized. I fell right into the slippery slimy hands of the government so that they could strip me of every penny I'm worth (honestly of more than I'm worth). The speed limit went from 65, to 55, back up to 65, then down to 45. Guess who was going 77 when it changed to 45? Me! Yes!! You're all correct!!! So for those of you as bad at math as I am, that is 32 mph over the speed limit. I was pulled over immediately after the speed dropped (rude af). The cop had a very intimidating mustache and it was throwing me off while I was trying so hard to pull out the water works. Clearly they didn't work. I tried to explain why I was speeding and how sorry I was, he told me he didn't care. He wasn't lying! He gave me a speeding ticket that is now $725. I'm a broke idiot trying to graduate and I'm deathly afraid that my father is going to stab me with 28 knives when he finds out. Oh right. This is also my second super speeder. SO this is where the help of all my great and loving friends comes in... I think if everyone could spare one dollar that looks like the one in this picture it might make this a little less painful. I have a month to come up with the money before my court date on November 15th. So if anyone wants to help feel free :) otherwise you're all welcome to attend my funeral on November 16th. Cheers to Millen, Georgia and their savage system that charges you more for a speeding ticket than an MIP! And cheers to everyone that donates in order to help save a life.