Jen's Surgery Fund
Donation protected
Hi everyone,
My name is Jen, I am 36 years old and I live in Sydney Australia. I had never considered reaching out like this until it was mentioned to me by an acquaintance as a way of raising the money I need for 3 stages of major surgeries. This is quite embarrassing and confronting for me as I have never shared this information before and NEVER shown pictures of my body, but here it goes…
I have finally accomplished a life long goal of losing weight and becoming healthy but the road leading to this point has been very difficult and trying. I had been overweight ever since I was a little girl and just kept getting bigger as the years went on. I remember being in second grade and we had to weigh ourselves in class in front of our peers and I was a 7 year old girl that weighed 40kgs. The amount of laughter and ridiculing that came from that experience is something that I can never forget.
Years went by and the embarrassment continued when I started high school and had to have my uniforms especially ordered as my size was not standard. 12/13 years old, 100kgs, size 18 and faced with a level of cruel bullying that I never knew was even possible. And then there was PE class in year 8.,, We had to weigh ourselves, measure our BMI and share our results in class. That was the day I wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole. I weighed in at 120kgs, averaging twice the weight of all my peers. I finished high school at around 140kgs and at a size 24/26.
After school I studied and was lucky enough to open a small child care service of my own and I thought it would be exactly what I needed to help me turn my life around, but somehow it didn’t. I spiraled into a deep dark place and the only way to make myself feel better was through food. It was my only friend, never laughed at me, was always there when I needed some picking up.
In 2005, when I was only 25 years old and weighed in at 205kgs, I had a stroke in my sleep. I woke up with no vision and was terrified. I found out that I have a hole in my heart which allowed a blood clot to travel from my leg to my brain but I was very lucky that no major damage was done, except that I have been left with minimal vision in my right eye and minor facial effects that I am aware of but are not too obvious. Now you would think that this would be a wake up call but somehow it wasn’t. I was still on a very destructive path and eating had become an addiction that I could not break. To give you an idea of my eating habits at this stage…
- morning – milkshake made with 1L milk, numerous scoops of ice cream and thick chocolate syrup.
- Afternoon – a whole pizza or 2 large meals from McDonalds, washed down with more chocolate milk, or when I was being healthy 4-5 toasted cheese and tomato sandwiches.
- Night – whatever I could get my hands on, whether it be a 500g pack of cooked pasta all to myself thickly coated with cheese, 1-2 bbq chickens with chips, a couple of container of Chinese food all to myself and the list goes on.
And there was constant snacking during the day too.
This continued for another year and then something major happened to me that literally pulled the rug out from under my feet and forced me to take a good long hard look at what I had done to myself.
September 4th 2006, 26 years old, 216kgs and fighting for my life. On that morning I was involved in a major car accident, which ended with me driving head first into a traffic light pole. I was driving a van and upon impact the car crumbled in on me and literally sliced my right leg open, deep enough that my bone was exposed and the fascia had been removed from the bone as well. One of my toes had been so badly crushed it ended up being amputated. My left leg was trapped and I had parts of my car that had sliced near my left knee. I remember people stopping their cars and running to see if I was ok; I remember feeling numb from waist down and starting to panic; I remember hearing the sirens of the ambulance and seeing police officers, fire men and ambulance officers. I remember hearing the rescue squad yelling they had to move faster and cut me free from the car; The last thing I remember is when I was finally in the ambulance, being told that they were giving me some pain medication to help me relax and it may make me drowsy; and then I was out like a light.
When I woke up, I think it was almost 2 weeks later, I couldn’t understand why I was in hospital and what had happened but soon found out. I ended up losing almost all the muscle off my right with only part of my calf left which had to be cut and surgically re attached to the front of my leg to cover the part of the bone that had the fascia scrapped off. Had the muscle graft not been successful I would have had my leg amputated from knee down. My thigh and tummy had bandages all around them which I found out were the skin donor sites as my whole right leg had to be covered in a skin graft. My little toe on my right foot was no where to be seen, deep cuts to the sole of my right foot and to the inside of the knee on my left leg, and multiple cuts to my right hand and wrist that still had small shards of glass in them. I was also told that during this period of time that I don’t remember, I had been in and out of the operating theatre approximately 6 times and received several blood transfusions.
Even at this point I didn’t understand the severity of my injuries, possibly because I was still on high doses of IV morphine and thought I was ok. It wasn’t until 5 weeks after the accident when I was still in hospital and I had the physio come around and tell me they were going to help me stand and get out of bed that I broke down and realized what I had done to myself. I couldn’t stand. I had a team of 6 physios and nurses trying to support me get on my feet and I couldn’t. They then brought a machine and all I had to do was hold onto it and it would lift me into a standing position, but I couldn’t stand. I remember that time so well that even while typing it now I am still tearing up…
We made these attempts daily until one day I managed to stand on my feet, supported by the machine and nursing/physio staff, for a whole 3 seconds! I cried and cried out of happiness and called my mum to share the news with her. I don’t think anyone could fully understand my excitement and how accomplished I felt. This was 7 weeks post MVA and now time to move on to rehab. I said goodbye to the wonderful nurses after 8 weeks at the hospital. I spent the next 5 weeks in rehab and did not achieve as much as I had hoped. I was basically only assisted to stand on my feet, turn and sit on a walker so I could wheel myself to the toilet and then back to bed.
After these short 5 weeks I was back home. I had a make shift bed room in the living room of our house, a hospital bed in one corner, with a table, since I could not go upstairs to my actual room. Only 3 days after going home I ended up back in hospital with a major infection in my leg. When the doctors opened my bandages they were surprised to see that my leg was actually infested with maggots that had been feeding off the necrotic tissue, so I was back in theatre the next day. When I returned home it was right at Xmas time and I was so happy to be able to share it with my family. The unfortunate thing was that for the next 2 years of my life I was in and out of hospital with infections and each hospital visit lasted between 2 and 4 weeks.
During this time, I came to the realization that I had been given a second chance and I was not going to waste it. I did not pity myself once. I did not allow myself to get depressed. In all honestly I consider the day that could have ended it all for me as the best day of my life and do not regret any of the challenges I have been faced with since that day.
In July 2009 I decided to do online study and start a new career. I was slowly working on becoming more active, walking to the toilet and back to bed instead of wheeling myself back and forth and trying to walk around the house using my walker. I bought myself a laptop and signed up to a course. I was bored one day and thought I would give Facebook a try. I signed up and explored the many games facebook had to offer. It was one day in October 2009 that I was given a sign that it was time to make more of my life then just sit in bed. I played a game of Farkle against a man residing in Canada. One game turned into 2, then 3 and then up to around 20, and we did not stop chatting during the games. It was the first time I sent someone a friend request and was thrilled when he accepted. This man was the motivation I needed to take the next step and get rid of the walker and get back on my feet.
Within a couple of months we had decided that it was time for us to meet up. I needed a change of scenery and told him I would go to him in Canada, so I advertised housekeeping duties on Gumtree and began cleaning peoples homes and doing their ironing, cooking for them in their home, all while using my walker. It took me a good 7 months but I had finally gathered the $1500 I needed to buy a ticket to Canada and in October of 2010 at 30 years old, using crutches and weighing in at 180kgs, I packed all my belongings into 2 suitcases and flew to Canada. I had warned my family that if all worked out during my forecasted 3 month stay I would not be returning to Australia and as hard as it was they let me go. To cut a long story short, 4 months later we were engaged and my 3 month stay turned into 2 years and then we came back to Australia and got married in 2012. He is now a PR of Australia and we are 4 years married and never look back.
Still struggling with my weight I made the decision at the end of 2014 that I wanted weight loss surgery. I knew that losing the extra weight would help with mobility as well, even though I was only using a walking stick at this point. 30th January 2015 I had a gastric sleeve and began the next chapter of my life. The common perception is that weight loss surgery is the easy way out, but believe me when I say it is just as difficult and can reek havoc on your mental state if you do not take control of your thoughts and emotions.
It has now been 16 months since my surgery. I have lost a total of 130kgs from my heaviest weight at the time of my accident, with 87 of that being since the sleeve itself. I now weigh 86kgs and am very proud and happy with where I am at. Since losing the weight I can now walk independently without any walking aids what so ever. I have a permanent limp, but I don’t care, I can walk!! And not only can I walk, I have started somewhat jogging, doing small jumps, using bikes at the gym, joined a gym and train 6 days a week! These are things I never imagined I would ever be able to do. I haven’t jogged/run in over 20 years since I was at school. These may all seem like small insignificant things to most people but they are major achievements for me. It takes a great deal more effort for me to accomplish small things compared to a physically ‘normal’ person but every accomplishment is a step in the right direction and only makes me stronger.
I must admit I could not have done it without the patience and perseverance of my wonderful trainer, Tarryn Williams. She believed in me more than I did. She has helped me not only with increasing my overall strength, but she has made me so much more aware of my body and what it is physically capable of. Tarryn has played an integral part is developing my mental strength and confidence and has helped me eliminate so much of the fear I had been holding onto for years in regards to my damaged leg and its limits. I truly believe she was meant to be a part of my life right now and I am thankful every day for having met her.
I have gone from a size 38 at my heaviest to now wearing anywhere between 12 and 16 depending on sizing and cuts of clothing. In comparison I feel skinny! But more importantly I have gained so many more quality years in my life and my health has never been so good. The extreme weight loss is not without its own problems though. As you can imagine I have been left with so much excess skin that it is very uncomfortable and I do get regular skin infections due to chaffing and sweat and rubbing. My husband has been so damn supportive throughout the whole process and says it does not bother him and he loves me either way, big, small or with lots of flappy skin. He has been my rock and I am eternally grateful to have him by my side.
In May of this year I paid a visit to the surgeon who performed my leg reconstruction after my MVA (which can be seen in the photos below) to see what we can do about all the excess skin. After a thorough consultation he explained with the amount of skin I have I will need to have 3 separate procedures, totaling approx. 20 hours of surgery at a cost of $55,000. This includes all costs associated with the surgeries from surgeon to hospital to anaesthetist to surgical garments etc. And this is where I need help…
I am putting myself out there and asking for the generosity of the public to help me raise these much needed funds to have these surgeries. They are not for cosmetic purposes, they are reconstructive procedures, and you can see that in the pictures a little further down the page. It was honestly so hard to include these photos but I wanted to show you just how bad the excess skin actually is and why I desperately need to have the procedures done. My surgeon has suggested waiting 3 months between procedures to allow my body to heal and recouperate. I am ready, both mentally and physically, to have the first procedure as soon as I can raise the money to do so.
I will be forever grateful to you for any donation regardless of how big or small. Even if you are unable to donate and can help me by sharing my story I will be just as grateful. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story xx
Forever in your debt,
Jen
My name is Jen, I am 36 years old and I live in Sydney Australia. I had never considered reaching out like this until it was mentioned to me by an acquaintance as a way of raising the money I need for 3 stages of major surgeries. This is quite embarrassing and confronting for me as I have never shared this information before and NEVER shown pictures of my body, but here it goes…
I have finally accomplished a life long goal of losing weight and becoming healthy but the road leading to this point has been very difficult and trying. I had been overweight ever since I was a little girl and just kept getting bigger as the years went on. I remember being in second grade and we had to weigh ourselves in class in front of our peers and I was a 7 year old girl that weighed 40kgs. The amount of laughter and ridiculing that came from that experience is something that I can never forget.
Years went by and the embarrassment continued when I started high school and had to have my uniforms especially ordered as my size was not standard. 12/13 years old, 100kgs, size 18 and faced with a level of cruel bullying that I never knew was even possible. And then there was PE class in year 8.,, We had to weigh ourselves, measure our BMI and share our results in class. That was the day I wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole. I weighed in at 120kgs, averaging twice the weight of all my peers. I finished high school at around 140kgs and at a size 24/26.
After school I studied and was lucky enough to open a small child care service of my own and I thought it would be exactly what I needed to help me turn my life around, but somehow it didn’t. I spiraled into a deep dark place and the only way to make myself feel better was through food. It was my only friend, never laughed at me, was always there when I needed some picking up.
In 2005, when I was only 25 years old and weighed in at 205kgs, I had a stroke in my sleep. I woke up with no vision and was terrified. I found out that I have a hole in my heart which allowed a blood clot to travel from my leg to my brain but I was very lucky that no major damage was done, except that I have been left with minimal vision in my right eye and minor facial effects that I am aware of but are not too obvious. Now you would think that this would be a wake up call but somehow it wasn’t. I was still on a very destructive path and eating had become an addiction that I could not break. To give you an idea of my eating habits at this stage…
- morning – milkshake made with 1L milk, numerous scoops of ice cream and thick chocolate syrup.
- Afternoon – a whole pizza or 2 large meals from McDonalds, washed down with more chocolate milk, or when I was being healthy 4-5 toasted cheese and tomato sandwiches.
- Night – whatever I could get my hands on, whether it be a 500g pack of cooked pasta all to myself thickly coated with cheese, 1-2 bbq chickens with chips, a couple of container of Chinese food all to myself and the list goes on.
And there was constant snacking during the day too.
This continued for another year and then something major happened to me that literally pulled the rug out from under my feet and forced me to take a good long hard look at what I had done to myself.
September 4th 2006, 26 years old, 216kgs and fighting for my life. On that morning I was involved in a major car accident, which ended with me driving head first into a traffic light pole. I was driving a van and upon impact the car crumbled in on me and literally sliced my right leg open, deep enough that my bone was exposed and the fascia had been removed from the bone as well. One of my toes had been so badly crushed it ended up being amputated. My left leg was trapped and I had parts of my car that had sliced near my left knee. I remember people stopping their cars and running to see if I was ok; I remember feeling numb from waist down and starting to panic; I remember hearing the sirens of the ambulance and seeing police officers, fire men and ambulance officers. I remember hearing the rescue squad yelling they had to move faster and cut me free from the car; The last thing I remember is when I was finally in the ambulance, being told that they were giving me some pain medication to help me relax and it may make me drowsy; and then I was out like a light.
When I woke up, I think it was almost 2 weeks later, I couldn’t understand why I was in hospital and what had happened but soon found out. I ended up losing almost all the muscle off my right with only part of my calf left which had to be cut and surgically re attached to the front of my leg to cover the part of the bone that had the fascia scrapped off. Had the muscle graft not been successful I would have had my leg amputated from knee down. My thigh and tummy had bandages all around them which I found out were the skin donor sites as my whole right leg had to be covered in a skin graft. My little toe on my right foot was no where to be seen, deep cuts to the sole of my right foot and to the inside of the knee on my left leg, and multiple cuts to my right hand and wrist that still had small shards of glass in them. I was also told that during this period of time that I don’t remember, I had been in and out of the operating theatre approximately 6 times and received several blood transfusions.
Even at this point I didn’t understand the severity of my injuries, possibly because I was still on high doses of IV morphine and thought I was ok. It wasn’t until 5 weeks after the accident when I was still in hospital and I had the physio come around and tell me they were going to help me stand and get out of bed that I broke down and realized what I had done to myself. I couldn’t stand. I had a team of 6 physios and nurses trying to support me get on my feet and I couldn’t. They then brought a machine and all I had to do was hold onto it and it would lift me into a standing position, but I couldn’t stand. I remember that time so well that even while typing it now I am still tearing up…
We made these attempts daily until one day I managed to stand on my feet, supported by the machine and nursing/physio staff, for a whole 3 seconds! I cried and cried out of happiness and called my mum to share the news with her. I don’t think anyone could fully understand my excitement and how accomplished I felt. This was 7 weeks post MVA and now time to move on to rehab. I said goodbye to the wonderful nurses after 8 weeks at the hospital. I spent the next 5 weeks in rehab and did not achieve as much as I had hoped. I was basically only assisted to stand on my feet, turn and sit on a walker so I could wheel myself to the toilet and then back to bed.
After these short 5 weeks I was back home. I had a make shift bed room in the living room of our house, a hospital bed in one corner, with a table, since I could not go upstairs to my actual room. Only 3 days after going home I ended up back in hospital with a major infection in my leg. When the doctors opened my bandages they were surprised to see that my leg was actually infested with maggots that had been feeding off the necrotic tissue, so I was back in theatre the next day. When I returned home it was right at Xmas time and I was so happy to be able to share it with my family. The unfortunate thing was that for the next 2 years of my life I was in and out of hospital with infections and each hospital visit lasted between 2 and 4 weeks.
During this time, I came to the realization that I had been given a second chance and I was not going to waste it. I did not pity myself once. I did not allow myself to get depressed. In all honestly I consider the day that could have ended it all for me as the best day of my life and do not regret any of the challenges I have been faced with since that day.
In July 2009 I decided to do online study and start a new career. I was slowly working on becoming more active, walking to the toilet and back to bed instead of wheeling myself back and forth and trying to walk around the house using my walker. I bought myself a laptop and signed up to a course. I was bored one day and thought I would give Facebook a try. I signed up and explored the many games facebook had to offer. It was one day in October 2009 that I was given a sign that it was time to make more of my life then just sit in bed. I played a game of Farkle against a man residing in Canada. One game turned into 2, then 3 and then up to around 20, and we did not stop chatting during the games. It was the first time I sent someone a friend request and was thrilled when he accepted. This man was the motivation I needed to take the next step and get rid of the walker and get back on my feet.
Within a couple of months we had decided that it was time for us to meet up. I needed a change of scenery and told him I would go to him in Canada, so I advertised housekeeping duties on Gumtree and began cleaning peoples homes and doing their ironing, cooking for them in their home, all while using my walker. It took me a good 7 months but I had finally gathered the $1500 I needed to buy a ticket to Canada and in October of 2010 at 30 years old, using crutches and weighing in at 180kgs, I packed all my belongings into 2 suitcases and flew to Canada. I had warned my family that if all worked out during my forecasted 3 month stay I would not be returning to Australia and as hard as it was they let me go. To cut a long story short, 4 months later we were engaged and my 3 month stay turned into 2 years and then we came back to Australia and got married in 2012. He is now a PR of Australia and we are 4 years married and never look back.
Still struggling with my weight I made the decision at the end of 2014 that I wanted weight loss surgery. I knew that losing the extra weight would help with mobility as well, even though I was only using a walking stick at this point. 30th January 2015 I had a gastric sleeve and began the next chapter of my life. The common perception is that weight loss surgery is the easy way out, but believe me when I say it is just as difficult and can reek havoc on your mental state if you do not take control of your thoughts and emotions.
It has now been 16 months since my surgery. I have lost a total of 130kgs from my heaviest weight at the time of my accident, with 87 of that being since the sleeve itself. I now weigh 86kgs and am very proud and happy with where I am at. Since losing the weight I can now walk independently without any walking aids what so ever. I have a permanent limp, but I don’t care, I can walk!! And not only can I walk, I have started somewhat jogging, doing small jumps, using bikes at the gym, joined a gym and train 6 days a week! These are things I never imagined I would ever be able to do. I haven’t jogged/run in over 20 years since I was at school. These may all seem like small insignificant things to most people but they are major achievements for me. It takes a great deal more effort for me to accomplish small things compared to a physically ‘normal’ person but every accomplishment is a step in the right direction and only makes me stronger.
I must admit I could not have done it without the patience and perseverance of my wonderful trainer, Tarryn Williams. She believed in me more than I did. She has helped me not only with increasing my overall strength, but she has made me so much more aware of my body and what it is physically capable of. Tarryn has played an integral part is developing my mental strength and confidence and has helped me eliminate so much of the fear I had been holding onto for years in regards to my damaged leg and its limits. I truly believe she was meant to be a part of my life right now and I am thankful every day for having met her.
I have gone from a size 38 at my heaviest to now wearing anywhere between 12 and 16 depending on sizing and cuts of clothing. In comparison I feel skinny! But more importantly I have gained so many more quality years in my life and my health has never been so good. The extreme weight loss is not without its own problems though. As you can imagine I have been left with so much excess skin that it is very uncomfortable and I do get regular skin infections due to chaffing and sweat and rubbing. My husband has been so damn supportive throughout the whole process and says it does not bother him and he loves me either way, big, small or with lots of flappy skin. He has been my rock and I am eternally grateful to have him by my side.
In May of this year I paid a visit to the surgeon who performed my leg reconstruction after my MVA (which can be seen in the photos below) to see what we can do about all the excess skin. After a thorough consultation he explained with the amount of skin I have I will need to have 3 separate procedures, totaling approx. 20 hours of surgery at a cost of $55,000. This includes all costs associated with the surgeries from surgeon to hospital to anaesthetist to surgical garments etc. And this is where I need help…
I am putting myself out there and asking for the generosity of the public to help me raise these much needed funds to have these surgeries. They are not for cosmetic purposes, they are reconstructive procedures, and you can see that in the pictures a little further down the page. It was honestly so hard to include these photos but I wanted to show you just how bad the excess skin actually is and why I desperately need to have the procedures done. My surgeon has suggested waiting 3 months between procedures to allow my body to heal and recouperate. I am ready, both mentally and physically, to have the first procedure as soon as I can raise the money to do so.
I will be forever grateful to you for any donation regardless of how big or small. Even if you are unable to donate and can help me by sharing my story I will be just as grateful. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story xx
Forever in your debt,
Jen
Organizer
Jen Sheehan
Organizer
Manahan NSW