I'm Going to Hell in Every Religion
Ok so I'm launching this because I've been told by thousands of people over the course of my life that if I don't watch my step, I'm going to "Hell". Like the majority of humanity, I grew up indoctrinated by the church through tradition and before I had reached an age of sufficient reason.
So I thought I'd go through a quick list of what I'm going to this literal "Hell" for and just to make sure, I'm going to let you guys watch as I partake in several of these mortal sins right here and now...
And since I'm presumably going to burn for all of eternity in a literal lake of fire, I think it's only fair that I get to live by the beach or have some extra fun for however many years I have left on Earth!
'Ponzi scheme: a form of fraud in which belief in the success of a nonexistent enterprise is fostered by the payment of quick returns to the first investors from money invested by later investors.' Explain, Badass Pete, how this is a Ponzi scheme?