Divorcing Our Domestic Abuser
Stacey, I had told you how to go about it and you didn't listen to me. The lawyers are sharks and here you begged everyone for money instead of listening to someone who knows what he is talking about. Once you put that money down from everyones donation what's next? More money and more money that is what is next. If you would of went to the States Attorneys office while he was in jail you would of gotten everything taken care of but you didn't listen to me. All I can say is good luck on your new adventure and I'm sorry for what you and the kids have gone through but when someone was giving you sound advice and an advantage you shot me down and went to ask everyone for money. It is nice to see you had donations and the people backing you up but I knew this wasn't going to help you with what you were trying to accomplish. Best of luck to you and your children.
I pray you get all the help you need. And don't let the in-laws get to you. In-laws never want to believe one of their own could be a monster. None of us ever do. It takes a lot of courage to get out. Be strong, and when you feel like caving? You pull your big girl panties up and keep stepping one step at a time. Don't give up for your sake, or your kids'. And remember that whatever anybody says? They don't matter. All that matters is that you know what's right for you and your kids. They don't know what's happened behind your closed doors. You do because you've lived it.
Sally Kruthoff is the sister of my husband whi is in jail. While she suggests you check me out his entire criminal record is public. Everything he did ti women before me. Animals..myself and his Children. My life with her brother was not an easy one. And while I stayed out of fear and codependency..that is no longer the case. This man could not support his family. I worked and kept a full time job and kep a roof over our heads. His family enabled him. They can continue to do so. I for one will no longer.
Tommy Tuna HOW DARE YOU... This is my friend she is a classmate!!! Do not judge another until you have walked in there shoes. Granted we are not that close Stacey and I, HOWEVER from everything I have talked with her about her situation and what I have read she is the most honest and pure person!!! I was in similar shoes- My father abused me. Again HOW DARE YOU!!!!!! If you have nothing nice to say then please say nothing at all!!!!!
Tommy Tuna I would like you to know I contacted the Assistant States Attorney's Office in Kane County handling both the Domestic Battery and Aggravated Assault Case they have never heard of the help to which you are advising in our County. They looked into it especially the Domestic Violence Advocate. So please do not assume I have not done all of my research or exhausted all resources. Thank you for your advice but unfortunately what is available for some is not available for all.
I hope everything is going better for you and your kiddos. I also deal with a narcissist. Almost every day is a struggle.. I know I dream of finding away for me and my girls, but with anxiety issues I don't think I could stay strong in court. My heart goes out to you!!
Tommy is horrible for criticizing your choices , essentially kicking you while you're already down. No one is in your shoes but you. Do what you have to and feel is best. Tommy the last thing someone who has been controlled and abused needs is someone telling them what to do. Do not give advice , if you want to be supportive LISTEN. Do not judge. This woman has been told what to do for over a decade and now you are chastising her for not listening to you tell her what to do. I don't care how well you know her. Advice is not how you help an abused person. She is shooting your advice down because she trusts no one anymore probably not even herself. Your message is controlling, critical and full of negativity. You do not know how harmful a response like this can be. Do you know how many women commit suicide who have been abused? A LOT! Do you know one of their biggest fears of leaving and speaking out? Someone telling them they are not doing it right, discounting their lack of judgement, saying how they would do it. You're not her, you were not brainwashed. A true friend would not give advice and then chastise a victim of abuse for not doing it how they say. You might as well hold her down for him , your statement just reinforces his words of her bad judgement , not listening when told what to do, etc. etc. Trust me I know TO WELL. Stacey you are smart, capable, you are brave and strong. You have been through a lot. Ignore nay sayers they have no clue if they haven't been where you are.
Not bashing the situation but trying to save Stacey the money. I blew $60,000 in lawyer fees and yes I have walked in Staceys shoes it sucks! I have my kids full time because their mom didn't want them after I spent all that money. All I am saying is is that the lawyers eat up all of that money Stacey and friends. They don't care about your children and definitely don't care about whoever is filing it all boils down to the mighty dollar. Once the funds are dried up and you cannot afford to continue paying no matter what they drop you. I'm just trying to be pro-active here on the situation. I know Stacey is a great mom and has 4 children and is married to an beep beep! If Stacey was my daughter her hubby wouldn't be alive today sitting in jail! I feel for you Stacey and I have been trying to get clothes and stuff from when my kids were little to give to you to help out. I know you have been under a lot of stress and again if you were my daughter that MF wouldn't be breathing. I'll talk to Dann to see how I can get this stuff to you. And I also have a friend of mine who is a States Attorney and see what we can do to get you out of this situation because you my friend are in a pickle!
I cannot understand his family supporting what he has done. He needs to stay behind bars forever. He was given too many second chances. Enough already! I'd like to know how his parents sleep at night knowing what was done to their grandchildren. I would make sure they never see the kids again. They don't need that evil in their lives.
Here is a website that can possibly help you and your children it is life-span.org there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Best wishes to you and your children
Thank you Andrea Loescher... I really appreciate your donation and sharing!
Ann Simmons you need your money! You are too generous and thoughtful when I know you have some needs as well. My children and I thank you!
Thank you Tony and Paula I appreciate it.