My Mother Has Terminal Cancer

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m awake, not because I was out partying with friends like I did in my 20s when I was young, stupid, and carefree. I am up because my mother is having another bad night. At this point, I can’t remember the last time she has had a good one. I am stroking her hair listening to her say she wants to die. I am my mother’s caregiver I am not a nurse, nor do I have any training in this field of any kind. I google, guess, and hope I am doing the right thing. She is shaking and crying due to the excruciating pain. My 10yr old daughter Mila shouldn’t have to see her grandmother suffering day and night. She is so beautiful and kind and caring, but this is extremely difficult for myself so I can only imagine what this is doing to my precious little girl. My mother’s cancer started in August, beginning with a lump on the side of her neck that was quite massive, sizing a softball. I knew we needed to get her checked out immediately. A few weeks later while waiting for an appointment it ruptured. The past 4 months my mother has had a leaking abscess on the side of her neck. She got divorced back in February and lost her insurance. She was working at HEB in Fredericksburg for a while. Her insurance was just about to kick in before she got sick. The pain would not allow her to continue working. I have been to countless hospitals, looking for someone to help. The tumor is now wrapped around her jugular, resulting in pressure on her spine. The reasoning behind her medicaid denial is because she doesn’t have any dependents. She has no assets of any kind and $50 in her bank account. Her current medical expenses are being covered by family. I am one of the few fortunate Americans that has a decent household income. With that being said, the expenses are too far out of my reach. There is no way I could even come close to covering the costs.  We have been to every hospital imaginable. MD Anderson requested a credit card payment of $13,000 alone just for a doctors visit. I’ve looked into a home equity loan, but that would only give us about $10,000. That amount won’t make a dent in the 100s-of-thousands-of-dollars needed to get her the radiation and chemo she needs. The five ER doctors, all from the hospitals mentioned above. They take pity on her, prescribing her hydrocodone to manage the pain. Those pain killers alone have resulted in $500 for two-weeks worth. At the end of the day, my mother needs radiation to try and shrink the tumor. I have applied her for every type of aid imaginable and she has been turned down by everyone. She is only 52. She’s been given a death sentence. If she doesn’t receive funding, she is going to die a slow and agonizing death. Texas opted-out of medicaid expansion, being denied federal funding to the tune of an estimated $8,000,000,000. Please, think long and hard about your choices when you vote. When you vote for politicians like Ted Cruz you are voting for people who will slash funding for social programs that are intended to help the poor and uninsured. They use scare tactics about immigrants, guns and abortion to trick people into voting for them, but the type of people voting for them are people just like us. People that need social programs and healthcare just as much as everyone else does. Every doctor and nurse we have spoken to give us looks of sympathy, apologizing profusely, but the answer is always the same without funding, there is nothing that can be done. I am at the end of my rope. I am desperate and I do not know what else to do, or where else to turn. Any small amount will help and hopefully one day we will have universal health care so no one has to go through what my Mother is. Watching someone you love and care about die slowly and painfully is agonizing on it’s own, but when you know there is something that can be done to help prolong their life and ease their pain it is utterly cruel.