Chico

The top picture of Chico is just from a few weeks ago and the bottom is of him healing from surgery. I am still in shock as I am writing this. Without any signs and basically no symptoms, he was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma (spleen cancer) on Monday. He had surgery to remove his spleen and they also found cancer growth in his pancreas, intestines, and liver. I did everything I could to prevent him from getting cancer but I couldn’t stop it. I tried to prepare for this day by getting pet insurance a few years ago. His pet insurance covers up to $10,000/year which I have already passed with all the testing and surgeries. The goal now is to slow down the growth, conduct any surgeries to stop any future ruptures, and to provide any holistic options to help him live the rest of his days without suffering or pain. I want him to have the best quality of life as possible and get him back on the beach where he is the happiest. 

Chico has travelled the world and met many  people who all loved him. He is a very special dog, and many have agreed, he has a human like personality. I have had him since he was 8 weeks old. He is my son. The love and grief is the same as it would be with a child. He has been with me through college, relationships, a marriage, a move to Brazil, a divorce, and a cross country road trip to a new life in California. He saved me. Many of times he has been the only reason that I got out of bed in the morning. I dreaded this moment for years and tried to mentally prepare but the truth is there was nothing I could do to prepare. It will never be the same. My heart is literally in pain from aching and I wish I could take his place. I will never find a bond with anything, human or animal, like Chico and I had. Living a life without him is living a life without me, and it is a life that I don’t want to live.